(found the moron text file from old usenet post, long no cliffs)
After you beat Fallout 2, you absolutely must play it again with a
character with a low intelligence. It is absolutely hilarious! It also
appears that you can solve all the quests on the main storyline, but you
have to go about it differently. I'm using a character with an INT of
1 right now. I went to Vault City tonight try to find the location of
the GECK, and the dialogue was cracking me up! In Vault City, most
people will have the guards escort you out of the city if you try to
talk to them. However, I got into the Vault without even becoming a
Citizen(not that it would be possible to become a Citizen with such low
INT)! I went to talk to Skeev. He went through his usual bit of how
to get forms for a Day Pass, and the conversation went something like
this:
Me: Furms?
Skeev: Hmm... you know, I have someone I'd like you to meet. Come with
me.
Me: Okee dokee
He then took me to the Servant Allocation Center, and the conversation
that ensued was a riot:
Skeev: I found this moron in the Wastes. I think he'll be a good
servant.
Guard: I don't know. He's obviously retarded.
Me: Ree - tar - dead! Pooooooooooooooooo!
Skeev: You need someone to clean up the Vault, right?
Me: Valt? GEK?
Guard: I guess he'll do. I suppose you want a finder's fee?
Me: Fee? Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
And then I found myself in the Vault! I then talked to the woman on the
first floor:
Woman: Hi, are you a new Citizen?
Me: Urgh.
Woman: I see. You must be the new help from the Servant Allocation
Center. You should go see Martin on the third floor, um, hmm... You go
Martin, understand?
Me: HUGO MARTIN!
Woman: You go Martin on third floor now, OK?
Me: ME NOW HUGO MARTIN ON THIRD FLOOR!
Woman: There must be a shortage at the Servant Allocation Center if
they're using simpletons like this.
So I went to the third floor to go see Martin:
Martin: Acccckkk!
Me: Aieeeeee!
Martin: P-phew! You s-scared m-me!
Me: Aieeeeee! Aieeeeee!
Martin: Y-you have to b-be q-quiet, OK?
Me: Okee dokee.
Martin: W-what are y-you l-looking for?
Me: GEK.
Martin: Y-you can probably f-find what you're l-looking for in the
c-computer... um, g-go to the t-talking box.
Me: Tanks.
So I click the hand icon on the computer:
Description: You see a metal box that is talking to itself in a woman's
voice. The woman must be trapped inside the box! It must be awfully
cramped in there.
Me: Hewwo? Hewwo?
Description: There is no answer from within the box.
Me: [Attempt to pry one of the boards off the box to let the woman
out.]
Description: You crawl under the metal box and manage to pry one of the
boards free. However, the woman is not inside. All you see are dead
snakes and flashing lights.
Me: [Put hand in snakes and feel around.]
Description: You put your hand in the snakes and feel around. Still no
sign of a woman. You are about to pull your hand free but you didn't
realize that... ZZZZAP!!!
Me: Ouchhhh!!! That tynglez!
Description: [You black out.] (Got zapped down to 1 HP)
Description: When you wake up a few moments later, there is still no
sign of a woman.
Me: [Shamble off.]
Description: You are about to shamble off when all of a sudden you
notice that next to one of the flashing lights in the metal box is the
same character that's on your PIPBoy thingy. He's pointing at a slot
that is about the size as your PIPBoy thingy. Maybe he wants to talk to
your little PIPBoy!
Me: [Put my little handheld PIPBoy in slot so he can talk with big
PIPBoy.]
Description: My, the two PIPBoys must have quite a bit of talking to
do! They talk for a long time, but you can't understand a word of it.
It sounds mostly like whirring and grinding to you. Wow, they must be
smart! When they are done talking, you notice that your little PIPBoy
thingy has something marked "Vault 15" on it, whatever that is.
Me: [Take PIPBoyee.]
And that's how I got the location of Vault 15, which is far different
from how I got it my first trip through the game. I was doubling over
with laughter as I did it this way. I can't wait to see how many more
humorous ways there are for low INT characters to solve quests!
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