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Falling out with a friend.......what to do?

O

OneOfTheseDays

Diamond Member
I've been friends with this girl for all four years in college and up until recently we got along very well. Before anyone asks, she is pretty much average looking and no I don't have pics of her.

About 1-2 months ago she started acting very strange and aloof, we would make plans to hang out and she would flake. It got to the point where we would literally have to plan to hang out a week in advance. Anyways, I let her know that things were becoming way too complicated to even hang out anymore and that as a result I was losing interest in being friends with her.

I expected her to at least apologize or make an attempt to stop making things so complex, but she immediately said she had to go and hung up the phone sounding very upset. Anyways, she IM'd me twice but both times not saying anything of importance or even acknowledging the conversation we had before.

Since then, I have not spoken to her at all and it's been prob a month since I've even seen her. I saw her online today, she rarely goes online, but neither of us said anything to each other. I've been in situations like this before, and I realize now that I'm probably on the verge of losing this person as a friend for good.

I personally don't think I overreacted to the situation, but what do you guys think? Normally I'd have no qualms about walking away, but I've known this person for four years and it seems like a waste to just throw it all away. The problem is I have too much pride to initiate contact again with her, and if she doesn't contact me it's not likely i'll ever talk to her again.
 
rookie?

Kinda tough to tell with what you gave us. Any chemistry? As a friend why didn't you figure out why she was strange and aloof before dropping her? Maybe you weren't really friends?
 
Originally posted by: Mrvile
Do you have any idea why?
Click to expand...

not really. i suppose i could have asked her why, but i think if she wanted to stay friends she would have at least said or done something. her lack of action speaks volumes to me, and for some reason i just can't bring myself to intiate any contact with her.
 
Originally posted by: SampSon
She has a boyfriend and is busy doing other things.
Go do stuff with other friends.
Click to expand...

your way off the mark.......i'm not attracted to her physically. i'd say she is very average looking and definitely not my type.

anyways, we've both been in relationships before and that has never really affected our friendship. we see each other maybe once every week anyways, so it's not like we are best friends.
 
Originally posted by: Sudheer Anne
Originally posted by: Mrvile
Do you have any idea why?
Click to expand...

not really. i suppose i could have asked her why, but i think if she wanted to stay friends she would have at least said or done something. her lack of action speaks volumes to me, and for some reason i just can't bring myself to intiate any contact with her.
Click to expand...

If you guys were close friends, I would've thought you'd ask at the first signs of "weirdness."
 
1) She doesn't wanna hang around w/ somebody w/ poor grammar skills?

2) She got the hots for you, but you never made the move to knock her up. She lost interest in you.
 
Originally posted by: Sudheer Anne
Originally posted by: SampSon
She has a boyfriend and is busy doing other things.
Go do stuff with other friends.
Click to expand...

your way off the mark.......i'm not attracted to her physically. i'd say she is very average looking and definitely not my type.

anyways, we've both been in relationships before and that has never really affected our friendship. we see each other maybe once every week anyways, so it's not like we are best friends.
Click to expand...
Why am I way off the mark telling you to go hang out with other people?
People change, life goes on.

If she was a good friend, you would know what is going on with her. Mabey you value the friendship much more than she does? Just move on.
 
Originally posted by: SampSon
Originally posted by: Sudheer Anne
Originally posted by: SampSon
She has a boyfriend and is busy doing other things.
Go do stuff with other friends.
Click to expand...

your way off the mark.......i'm not attracted to her physically. i'd say she is very average looking and definitely not my type.

anyways, we've both been in relationships before and that has never really affected our friendship. we see each other maybe once every week anyways, so it's not like we are best friends.
Click to expand...
Why am I way off the mark telling you to go hang out with other people?
People change, life goes on.

If she was a good friend, you would know what is going on with her. Mabey you value the friendship much more than she does? Just move on.
Click to expand...

yea I was confused because she has told me several times how I'm the only guy she has really ever been good friends with for an extended period of time.

anyways your right, if she was a good friend she would have made amends or at least told me what was going on with her. her lack of a response just shows me she couldn't care less. sigh, such a waste because i did enjoy hanging out with her.

 
"Pride goeth...before a fall."

Just ask her about it. Don't be accusatory, tell her you value her friendship and would like to talk things out, that's what friends do.
 
Disappear from her life.

If she gives a damn, she'll find you. If she doesn't... then you've saved yourself the time of getting over it.


In all truth though... I can tell you from experience that if someone doesn't care about you, it's not worth your time to care about them. She'll come running to you when she needs something, and just as soon as she has it she'll be gone again. Don't be a sucker. if she won't give you time, she doesn't deserve time. Friendship is a two way street, and the traffic must be coming and going at the same speed to work.
 
Apologize for being so distant and not understanding her feelings...

Followed by make-up sex.
 
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