Everytime I post a job opening

[s0me0nesmind1]

i have been applying for jobs that i am slightly over qualified for. I have a kick ass resume. detailed, short and to the point. i write decent cover letters. I cant get anyone to call or respond to me calls or emails. I have 10 years experience in engineering and logistics.

most job postings go something like this: local, small electronics company, their entire building is not more than 10k sq feet.


the required experience part of that was literally 5 things with 10 years on each.

so fuck those guys. and screw the people that put engineer or technician on every GD job.

actual examples:

Seasonal wildlife technician ( prairie dog exterminator)
Animal care technician (poop scooper/ feed bag dumper at a horse barn)
storm water technician, storm water logistics ( clean out storm drains for the city)
seasonal sign technician (hang and replace road signs) not even full time
lot technician ( car moverarounder and car washer at a dealership)

in closing, i think most the the people looking for qualified candidates for their jobs are fucking idiots, and should be slapped every time they say they just cant find anyone to hire.

I learned VERY early on in life. Ignore requirements.100% ignore requirements.

The only thing I would pay attention to are the "Preferred Qualifications" or the "Nice to have" section - If you have any of those, ensure that you emphasize those because those are leg-ups on other candidates.

I mean when I was out of college I had 0 work experience. Every job I applied for said I had to have experience. Did I actually have it? Hell no. I had nothing other than a degree.


And yeah - As far as job titles you can probably thank both HR and human psychology/marketing. People like to think when they have a "big name" job title that it makes them feel better. The reality (as you described) is obviously different.

 

[herm0016]

the automated BS resume filters now do not ignore requirements.

here is my redacted resume. you be the judge, or offer me a job i dont hate.



yes, the dollar figure is correct for last year. should i remove it? too intimidating?

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

the automated BS resume filters now do not ignore requirements.

here is my redacted resume. you be the judge, or offer me a job i dont hate.

View attachment 4942

yes, the dollar figure is correct for last year. should i remove it? too intimidating?

Honest critique? No hate here - just giving advice from my point of view. That doesn't mean it's correct - just IMO.

Ditch the business profile. Worthless text that will be ignored. HR sees a paragraph and runs. If anything, replace it with a one-two sentence overall description of your work experience and background.

Ditch the "Strengths" - again, this is worthless information. It's like saying "I'm a good worker". Sure...sure buddy... just like everyone else that said it. Seriously, that section is a complete load of crap.

Add a "Skills" section (with newly empty room from getting rid of above sections) - I have that at the bottom. It's where I list all of my technical skills such as systems I've worked in, operating systems I've worked in, coding languages I know, etc... Examples: SQL, SAP/Oracle. Combine it with your certifications... and don't mention a certification if it isn't something truly noteworthy.

I might get more down into individual sentence detail if I have time, but those are some things off the top of my head.


EDIT: Though maybe @Exterous can give us all a good review of what a good resume is since he looks at them all the time.

 

[Six]

Honest critique? No hate here - just giving advice from my point of view. That doesn't mean it's correct - just IMO.

Ditch the business profile. Worthless text that will be ignored. HR sees a paragraph and runs. If anything, replace it with a one-two sentence overall description of your work experience and background.

Ditch the "Strengths" - again, this is worthless information. It's like saying "I'm a good worker". Sure...sure buddy... just like everyone else that said it. Seriously, that section is a complete load of crap.

Add a "Skills" section (with newly empty room from getting rid of above sections) - I have that at the bottom. It's where I list all of my technical skills such as systems I've worked in, operating systems I've worked in, coding languages I know, etc... Examples: SQL, SAP/Oracle. Combine it with your certifications... and don't mention a certification if it isn't something truly noteworthy.

I might get more down into individual sentence detail if I have time, but those are some things off the top of my head.


EDIT: Though maybe @Exterous can give us all a good review of what a good resume is since he looks at them all the time.

For what it's worth, my resume was more like what you said. My wife who's been on numerous hiring committees told me to create one like Adam's, ahem I mean herm0016's.

 

[herm0016]

Appreciate the feedback. Most of my strengths are skills. I will keep editing. It's frustrating because I know I can bring value to a team or business i just have to convince someone else. I am also trying to change industry, so that's why i did the paragraph. I'm so so on it though. If I listed my specific skills most people would go glassy eyed. Also, most of my certs are irrelevant to most jobs, but they are high skill and not that easy to get. Probably take out ham radio, what else? I am looking for a job that is less stressful and where I spend less time at a desk and on the phone. Currently on call 24/7 for 50%+ of my life.

 

[Sonikku]

These are the same applicants that complain about not being able to find a job despite applying for 20+ jobs per week. They don't have any resume writing skills, don't read the job posting, and don't make themselves available to show interest in the job.

Funny. I worked very diligently to polish my resume, went to work shops, took part in programs created by DSS to improve how I interview, write a cover letter, etc. Applied to about that many places a week. Sometimes got an interview. Couldn't land a job. I suppose not all applicants hitting a brick wall are all just making a boat load of bone headed mistakes.

 

[Chaotic42]

I just wish people would stop lying on the resumes. "Python Experts" who can't tell me the difference in a list and a dictionary in Python. "R Experts" who can't explain linear regression. "ArcGIS experts" who don't know what a projection is or the difference in a union and an intersection.

Total wastes of time.

 

[herm0016]

I just wish people would stop lying on the resumes. "Python Experts" who can't tell me the difference in a list and a dictionary in Python. "R Experts" who can't explain linear regression. "ArcGIS experts" who don't know what a projection is or the difference in a union and an intersection.

Total wastes of time.

agree. and it makes people that are honest about knowing something seem like they are lying.

I actually do have a sort of interview on friday now. I am going to join a person I know that wants to add another project manager to his GC team in anticipation of remodeling a school over the summer.

 

[IronWing]

I just wish people would stop lying on the resumes. "Python Experts" who can't tell me the difference in a list and a dictionary in Python. "R Experts" who can't explain linear regression. "ArcGIS experts" who don't know what a projection is or the difference in a union and an intersection.

Total wastes of time.

Linear regression is when you try to have the least number of squares in the office. Arcgis were those Iraqi dudes that ISIS went after. Projection is what project managers do. Unions are bad, don't hire unions. The intersection is where the Starbucks is. Would you like to see my Python?

Did I get the job? Can I have a cubical with a window? Darkness makes my ears itch.

 

[FelixDeCat]

In the last year or so I've had to review several resumes for tech jobs we've offered. My favorites are the ones where the applicant lists a wall of text that details every app they've ever touched (including Paint, Notepad, etc.)

I used to be proficient in MS Basic back in the early 80's. Never got the hang of Assembly, so I went into finance, been there ever since. I haven't coded since 1993.

Hire me, and lets make lots of money.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

anything

I used to be proficient in MS Basic back in the early 80's. Never got the hang of Assembly, so I went into finance, been there ever since. I haven't coded since 1993.

Hire me, and lets make lots of money.

I mean... Not gonna lie, I took a couple COBOL classes in college... You can damn sure bet that is still on my resume. I don't claim to be an expert coder in it - but I can do basics.

 

[FelixDeCat]

... and screw the people that put engineer or technician on every GD job.

actual examples:

Seasonal wildlife technician ( prairie dog exterminator)
Animal care technician (poop scooper/ feed bag dumper at a horse barn)
storm water technician, storm water logistics ( clean out storm drains for the city)
seasonal sign technician (hang and replace road signs) not even full time
lot technician ( car moverarounder and car washer at a dealership)

in closing, i think most the the people looking for qualified candidates for their jobs are fucking idiots, and should be slapped every time they say they just cant find anyone to hire.

Sounds like we need to create a new position - Hiring Manager Slapping Technician - to help boost productivity and harness the next generation of synergies vital to our success. This would be a volunteer position with preference given to women and Spanish speaking candidates.

 

[BoomerD]

Yeah, boomer is screwed.

Woohoo! Your place or mine?

 

[ImpulsE69]

I'd say I feel for you but applying for jobs is like women. Whoever is looking has a personal preference and the person applying has no way to know what that is.

As a small example I've heard different bosses state this about dress shirt collars - not to me but in different hiring meetings.

"I prefer not to hire someone who wears button down collars because it shows laziness"

"I prefer to hire people who wear button down collars because it shows they care about their appearance"

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

I'd say I feel for you but applying for jobs is like women. Whoever is looking has a personal preference and the person applying has no way to know what that is.

As a small example I've heard different bosses state this about dress shirt collars - not to me but in different hiring meetings.

"I prefer not to hire someone who wears button down collars because it shows laziness"

"I prefer to hire people who wear button down collars because it shows they care about their appearance"

I hate going on to an interview for an executive position and the person interviewing me is wearing Dockers and a polo shirt. Fortunately, that's only happened in corporate jobs.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

I'd say I feel for you but applying for jobs is like women. Whoever is looking has a personal preference and the person applying has no way to know what that is.

As a small example I've heard different bosses state this about dress shirt collars - not to me but in different hiring meetings.

"I prefer not to hire someone who wears button down collars because it shows laziness"

"I prefer to hire people who wear button down collars because it shows they care about their appearance"

Button down collars are just hideous. I don't think they are lazy or anything - they just look absolutely stupid.

 

[IronWing]

Button down collars are just hideous. I don't think they are lazy or anything - they just look absolutely stupid.

Since I buy all my dress shirts at thrift stores I can't be choosy.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Since I buy all my dress shirts at thrift stores I can't be choosy.

I mean when it comes to getting jobs - that's another thing people should invest in... a decent suit.

I /facepalm anytime I see people walk in with old outdated grandpa suits. If you think the interviewers won't notice you're wrong.

If your suit has 3 buttons on the jacket, it's time to get a new one.
If you have pleated pants, it's time to get a new one.
If your pant legs are cuffed, it's time to get a new one.

On top of that, plenty of guys are just dumb and don't even get their suit tailored. At minimal the legs need to be proper length along with the sleeve length.

 

[IronWing]

If I'm wearing a suit, there's a corpse in the room. If I'm wearing cologne, I'm the corpse.

 

[snoopy7548]

I'm so glad I haven't been on an interview in over 11 years. My suit is probably terribly outdated and I haven't worn it since I don't know when.

 

[zinfamous]

Maybe the OP can post his # and we all can call him.

@RossMAN would do it.

 

[highland145]

@RossMAN would do it.

A man's man.

 

[Chaotic42]

I mean when it comes to getting jobs - that's another thing people should invest in... a decent suit.

I /facepalm anytime I see people walk in with old outdated grandpa suits. If you think the interviewers won't notice you're wrong.

If your suit has 3 buttons on the jacket, it's time to get a new one.
If you have pleated pants, it's time to get a new one.
If your pant legs are cuffed, it's time to get a new one.

On top of that, plenty of guys are just dumb and don't even get their suit tailored. At minimal the legs need to be proper length along with the sleeve length.

This is the kind of stuff I hate about corporate society. This person is in an old suit, oh no, the horror. If you're more worried about the suit someone is wearing than their abilities (unless you're talking about a high-end customer facing job), you shouldn't be on the interview panel.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

This is the kind of stuff I hate about corporate society. This person is in an old suit, oh no, the horror. If you're more worried about the suit someone is wearing than their abilities (unless you're talking about a high-end customer facing job), you shouldn't be on the interview panel.

I'm not going to disagree with you. I wish someone could come in with some basketball shorts, a wife-beater and 4 days without shaving but that's not the way the world works. More importantly, it's not the way the human brain works because you're going to immediately be judged for it.

It is what it is, and if you want a job and you want a leg-up on the competition I can definitely tell you that dressing properly is going to earn you bonus points.

It's the same thing with sending thank you notes after an interview - I find it to be incredibly stupid. Yet - It has been proven to give people a leg up.

 

[Red Squirrel]

Always hated that crap too, the way you look should not be a determining factor as to whether or not you get a job but unfortunately it is. I'm growing out my hair, that takes long, I'd hate to have to cut it and start over just because I'm applying for a job I might not even get. TBH I'd probably just put a crap ton of gel and slick it back or something. As long as it looks good from the front. 😛

Another way to see it though is I would not want to work for a company that will judge me based on my looks or how I dress or expect me to look like I'm going to church when I'm on the job. My current job is cushy with that thankfully. I can even wear shorts in summer.