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Everytime I post a job opening

E

Exterous

Super Moderator
I'm still amazed by the resumes and interactions. I got an 11 page resume from someone who ignored the "cover letter required" notice in the posting. Sorry this job posting wasn't for a police sargent or for someone to do tax preparation. Telling me in a single sentence reply that you only have (1) 30 minute time slot available in the next two weeks so that if I am "interested in hiring me the interview will have to be then." is not a great way to start our interaction. Even if that really is the only time, give me some context especially if your resume isn't all that strong to begin with. On a personal note I am not a fan of resumes that are so unique that I have no idea where to look to see if you meet the minimum requirements
 
In the last year or so I've had to review several resumes for tech jobs we've offered. My favorites are the ones where the applicant lists a wall of text that details every app they've ever touched (including Paint, Notepad, etc.)
 
These are the same applicants that complain about not being able to find a job despite applying for 20+ jobs per week. They don't have any resume writing skills, don't read the job posting, and don't make themselves available to show interest in the job.
 
NuclearNed said:
In the last year or so I've had to review several resumes for tech jobs we've offered. My favorites are the ones where the applicant lists a wall of text that details every app they've ever touched (including Paint, Notepad, etc.)
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Heh yes. Or the ones that list every job they have ever had. For what we hire for I can't imagine coming down to two candidates and making the decision for one over the other because the winning applicant worked part time as a target cashier in 1984.
 
I'll be honest - I don't care to play stupid games like writing a cover letter.. Here's my resume. Here's my history/application. Interview me if you want. Cover letters are outdated just like reference lists. In my last 3 high-level jobs I haven't provided either.


An 11 page resume is hilarious though. Someone didn't get the memo that folks take 5-7 seconds or whatever it is to look at a resume. I'm trying to keep mine to 1-page, but after my current job that will be he hard and might have to move to a 2-page approach.
 
highland145 said:
On the bright side, I could be applying.
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Why not? Hiring managers need a good laugh once in a while...or at least that was always my attitude when I sent one in.

"Hello. My name is Boomer. If you ain't stupider than a box of rocks, you'll hire me."
 
BoomerD said:
Why not? Hiring managers need a good laugh once in a while...or at least that was always my attitude when I sent one in.

"Hello. My name is Boomer. If you ain't stupider than a box of rocks, you'll hire me."
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This alone would insure you not getting the job.
 
pete6032 said:
These are the same applicants that complain about not being able to find a job despite applying for 20+ jobs per week. They don't have any resume writing skills, don't read the job posting, and don't make themselves available to show interest in the job.
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You kinda have to do the shotgun approach though since you can't really tell if a company is actually serious about hiring someone. So I don't know if it's worth doing more than the bare minimum in terms of deciding to apply to a job.
 
Exterous said:
I'm still amazed by the resumes and interactions. I got an 11 page resume from someone who ignored the "cover letter required" notice in the posting. Sorry this job posting wasn't for a police sargent or for someone to do tax preparation. Telling me in a single sentence reply that you only have (1) 30 minute time slot available in the next two weeks so that if I am "interested in hiring me the interview will have to be then." is not a great way to start our interaction. Even if that really is the only time, give me some context especially if your resume isn't all that strong to begin with. On a personal note I am not a fan of resumes that are so unique that I have no idea where to look to see if you meet the minimum requirements
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And I'm sure your posting doesn't list qualifications that are either irrelevant to the job or would be expected only to be found in someone in a much more senior position. Plus I'm sure the pay you're offering is actually competitive for the position.

Sorry but not sorry, nearly every time I hear a hiring manager complain about the quality of applications, in order it reflects:

1. A poorly written position description and/or job duties ("hiring junior help desk specialist, 12 years of python coding required and oh BTW we need you to be on call 24/7") ~ 99.9999% of instances
3. A wildly overestimated perception of the hiring manager about the relative attractiveness of the position, company, or themselves as a manager to applicants ("I should have people lining up for this $8.50/hour job at a call center for a payday lender that's in the news for being on the brink of bankruptcy") ~ 80% of instances
3. Expecting applicants to meet some pet peeve preference of the hiring manager ("I won't hire someone who doesn't send a thank you email within 24 hours of interview" or in your case "cover letter required") ~ 50% of instances
 
jpiniero said:
You kinda have to do the shotgun approach though since you can't really tell if a company is actually serious about hiring someone. So I don't know if it's worth doing more than the bare minimum in terms of deciding to apply to a job.
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Very true.

Plenty of companies put up "job opportunities" for legal/regulatory reasons when the reality is they already have their candidate plucked internally and is already destined to get the position.
 
s0me0nesmind1 said:
I'll be honest - I don't care to play stupid games like writing a cover letter.. Here's my resume. Here's my history/application. Interview me if you want. Cover letters are outdated just like reference lists. In my last 3 high-level jobs I haven't provided either.
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I don't disqualify people for it but it is a strike against you compared to even a bad or really short cover letter. We need attention to detail so I am looking for clues to that along the way. Perhaps I would feel differently if we were having a hard time finding qualified people or only had a few applicants per posting. On one of the more recent ones there were 78 applicants to go through.

glenn1 said:
And I'm sure your posting doesn't list qualifications that are either irrelevant to the job or would be expected only to be found in someone in a much more senior position. Plus I'm sure the pay you're offering is actually competitive for the position.

Sorry but not sorry, nearly every time I hear a hiring manager complain about the quality of applications, in order it reflects:

1. A poorly written position description and/or job duties ("hiring junior help desk specialist, 12 years of python coding required and oh BTW we need you to be on call 24/7") ~ 99.9999% of instances
3. A wildly overestimated perception of the hiring manager about the relative attractiveness of the position, company, or themselves as a manager to applicants ("I should have people lining up for this $8.50/hour job at a call center for a payday lender that's in the news for being on the brink of bankruptcy") ~ 80% of instances
3. Expecting applicants to meet some pet peeve preference of the hiring manager ("I won't hire someone who doesn't send a thank you email within 24 hours of interview" or in your case "cover letter required") ~ 50% of instances
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Riiiight. I mean it must be my job posting that got a police sargent and tax guy to apply. It couldn't be that you'll just get some crap regardless of whether your posting is perfect or not. This isn't my first rodeo and I've never been hurting for qualified candidates to give the final job offer to. I do bullet point lists of Required and Desired qualifications along with listing the salary range I'm willing to pay. Given the number of applicants and how my last several hires have turned out I'm pretty confident in my job posting abilities.
 
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jpiniero said:
You kinda have to do the shotgun approach though since you can't really tell if a company is actually serious about hiring someone. So I don't know if it's worth doing more than the bare minimum in terms of deciding to apply to a job.
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This was me. Last job run I did (~4yr ago) I applied to over 500 jobs in ~365 days. Basically covering a triangle from North Carolina, to Ohio, to Maine. Of those, ~10% called back/went to an actual interview. Of those, 10% led to an offer worth anything. Everyone I actually talked to wanted to hire me, they just weren't offering a salary worth exploring. This was in IT.

Fairly certain my resume got thrown out by at least 50% because I was located in GA at the time, despite the fact I stated multiple times in the actual application that I was relocating to the NE and would be covering my own move expenses.

Btw, after having to sign up for your shitty webpage, fill out a 20-page profile document about myself, followed by ANOTHER 10-page application form with mostly duplicated information, before finally being able to submit my resume, only to be called back by a recruiter who asks me to mail them MY GODDAMN RESUME, no, I'm not submitting a cover letter. Fuck your cover letters and your application system.

Know how I got hired? There was a job posting on a job board, with a phone number attached. I called the number, the hiring manager picked up, asked me to email him my resume while I was on the phone. Scheduled a phone interview for the next day. Flew me out the day after that, gave me a verbal offer that was actually reasonable for my experience level, and told me what HR would wiggle up to. I was hired the next day.
 
[DHT]Osiris said:
This was me. Last job run I did (~4yr ago) I applied to over 500 jobs in ~365 days. Basically covering a triangle from North Carolina, to Ohio, to Maine. Of those, ~10% called back/went to an actual interview. Of those, 10% led to an offer worth anything. Everyone I actually talked to wanted to hire me, they just weren't offering a salary worth exploring. This was in IT.

Fairly certain my resume got thrown out by at least 50% because I was located in GA at the time, despite the fact I stated multiple times in the actual application that I was relocating to the NE and would be covering my own move expenses.

Btw, after having to sign up for your shitty webpage, fill out a 20-page profile document about myself, followed by ANOTHER 10-page application form with mostly duplicated information, before finally being able to submit my resume, only to be called back by a recruiter who asks me to mail them MY GODDAMN RESUME, no, I'm not submitting a cover letter. Fuck your cover letters and your application system.

Know how I got hired? There was a job posting on a job board, with a phone number attached. I called the number, the hiring manager picked up, asked me to email him my resume while I was on the phone. Scheduled a phone interview for the next day. Flew me out the day after that, gave me a verbal offer that was actually reasonable for my experience level, and told me what HR would wiggle up to. I was hired the next day.
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Let me stress the importance of this to everyone here. My Last THREE jobs that I got (all of which were upgrades/promotions/higher pay) were...

First job was through friends/colleague hookup. When I was growing up it was a business acquaintance of my father. Instant job
Second job was through a LinkedIn Recruiter - one that worked directly for the accounting firm that hired me.
Third job was through a LinkedIn Recruiter that was hired on behalf of the company.

All of those made me instant by-pass all the shit. Hell, for my 3rd job recruitment (that I just started last week) I went through all the interviews except the last before even filling out the HR application lol.

My main point? I did the same shotgun approach every single time for those jobs - so don't get me wrong, I was on Indeed, searching job sites, applying to tons... But the ones I actually won at were ones with recruiters. Like my last recruiter said HR should be renamed to Human waste. Circumventing them is INCREDIBLY beneficial and recruiters are able to do just that.
 
I have the same resume from high school when we learned how to do one in class. It's obviously been updated since, but it's the same word doc and everything. Suppose next time I need to apply for a job I should probably lookup what are the latest practices for writing one as they probably changed in the past 15 years. I feel old now.

I find the way you approach a job can be tricky though as it really depends on what THEY expect. One company might expect you to be more aggressive in trying to sell yourself while another might feel if you are too aggressive you look desperate. I tend to keep things fairly neutral and simple. Been so long since I've had to go through that process though. I've always tried to be as natural as possible for the entire process, from writing the resume, to the interview, and it's usually worked well for me.
 
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s0me0nesmind1 said:
Let me stress the importance of this to everyone here. My Last THREE jobs that I got (all of which were upgrades/promotions/higher pay) were...

First job was through friends/colleague hookup. When I was growing up it was a business acquaintance of my father. Instant job
Second job was through a LinkedIn Recruiter - one that worked directly for the accounting firm that hired me.
Third job was through a LinkedIn Recruiter that was hired on behalf of the company.

All of those made me instant by-pass all shit. Hell, for my 3rd job recruitment (that I just started last week) I went through all the interviews except the last before even filling out the HR application lol.

My main point? I did the same shotgun approach every single time for those jobs - so don't get me wrong, I was on Indeed, searching job sites, applying to tons... But the ones I actually won at were ones with recruiters. Like my last recruiter said HR should be renamed to Human waste. Circumventing them is INCREDIBLY beneficial and recruiters are able to do just that.
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Same here, the one prior to this job was coming out of the military, and going into DoD contracting. With a TS clearance, a handful of mandatory/semi mandatory certs, etc I had damn near the same success rate, over a 4? month period. The job I got was from literally calling the CEO of a small recruiting company saying I wanted a job they had a posting for, and that I would relocate myself. He dropped what he was doing and got me hooked up. I'm assuming I never would have gotten that job had I not found his number (was on the recruiting company's 'about us' directory).

Honestly it makes me wonder what the purpose of all that garbage is. I'm assuming right now it's either job justification for a shitload of HR busybodies who are otherwise useless, or they're obligatory job postings for jobs they don't actually intend to fill, in order to justify outsourcing or H1B's.
 
[DHT]Osiris said:
Btw, after having to sign up for your shitty webpage, fill out a 20-page profile document about myself, followed by ANOTHER 10-page application form with mostly duplicated information, before finally being able to submit my resume, only to be called back by a recruiter who asks me to mail them MY GODDAMN RESUME, no, I'm not submitting a cover letter. Fuck your cover letters and your application system.
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LOL those are the worst systems in the world. When I am looking at a job and it seems interesting, and I click the apply button and it takes me to their "portal" where I have to create an account, that is an immediate tab close and automatic disqualification of that company as a potential employer.
 
Exterous said:
Perhaps I would feel differently if we were having a hard time finding qualified people or only had a few applicants per posting. On one of the more recent ones there were 78 applicants to go through.
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Ah that's the thing, pretty much any posting is going to get a ton of resumes. I don't get the sense that HR cares much about the cover letter though, just the resume.
 
i have been applying for jobs that i am slightly over qualified for. I have a kick ass resume. detailed, short and to the point. i write decent cover letters. I cant get anyone to call or respond to me calls or emails. I have 10 years experience in engineering and logistics.

most job postings go something like this: local, small electronics company, their entire building is not more than 10k sq feet.
we need someone to manage order fulfillment, shipping and receiving, inventory in our small warehouse. also will spend some time building electronic devices, soldering, placing components, etc.

15.50 per hr

required experience:
10 years managing a warehouse
10 years electronics manufacturing for aerospace
10 years shipping and receiving
10 years inventory control
10 years pick and place machine programming

High school diploma
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the required experience part of that was literally 5 things with 10 years on each.

so fuck those guys. and screw the people that put engineer or technician on every GD job.

actual examples:

Seasonal wildlife technician ( prairie dog exterminator)
Animal care technician (poop scooper/ feed bag dumper at a horse barn)
storm water technician, storm water logistics ( clean out storm drains for the city)
seasonal sign technician (hang and replace road signs) not even full time
lot technician ( car moverarounder and car washer at a dealership)

in closing, i think most the the people looking for qualified candidates for their jobs are fucking idiots, and should be slapped every time they say they just cant find anyone to hire.

also, the one interview i got, they fucking ghosted me ( yes i did reach out) after telling me i would get a second interview not even half way through the first inerview.
 
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