- Jul 15, 2003
- 80,287
- 17,082
- 136
5-01: Ignored sister. Prioritized beat up old house over pregnant woman. Broke into home. Stole macaroni and cheese. Insulted family. Threatened family. Exploited family while making false promises. Pretended to be a lawyer. Destroyed a door. Stole money from the bar. Harassed home buyers. Challenges a lawyer to a duel. Belly flopped while trying to get pregnant. Drank booze while trying to get pregnant. Invade a couples home and pool. Lied about being gay to shill for a womb.
5-02: Hid road trip from Sister. Harassed a bicyclist. Threw a bottle at a mans head, left him for dead on the road. Left sister at bar. Stole sisters vehicle. Shoved two friends into the back of a U-haul. Tried to steal sisters car. Haggled for a pear, complained about the pear. Drinking in a car. Lost a mini grill. Hit on a child. Peed in a jar. Threw piss at a passenger. Started fire in a U-haul. Bad-mouthed a hitchhiker. Forgot to wake up friends. Passed out in bar. Thinks Milwaukee is a state.
5-03: Ignored friend trying to kill himself. Suggested slashing tires. Disparaged the poor. Ate steak dinners while bar lost money. Fired sister to save money. Took out loan in daughters name. Burned trash in basement. Turned on closed sign when bar was open. Lived on street. Gave selves bonuses after ruining bar. Cut up 200 dollar shoe. Insulted Dave and Busters waitress. Spilled blood and wine at strangers house. Took advantage of poor alcoholics. Too bailout after deliberately ruining business.
5-04: Drinking in car. Crashed a funeral. Hit on aunt. hit on cousin. slept with aunt. slept with cousin. lied to therapist. drank before and during an intervention. threw salt on cousin, called her a snail.
5-05: Lied about getting married. Broke up with a guy over bad skin. Hit on an engaged man. Smacked a wasp nest in the bar. Became angry and jealous of waitress marriage. Left car in the middle of traffic. Meddled in wedding. Sabotaged bachelorette party. Lied about the Waitress. Snuck booze to an alcoholic. Insulted Waitress. Groped a woman in a restaurant. Gave hornets to a man as a present.
5-06: Used World Series as a defense of parking violations. Pushed man into poison for baseball tickets. Snuck into a game without tickets. Jumped in front of a car to blackmail a fan for tickets. Made fun of man for liking a ball player. Left friend to die in poison infected building. Fought with Philly Phanatic. Punched friend in nose. Broke into a hotel supply room. Lied to a judge.
5-07: Accused sister of catfishing soldiers. Exploited soldier to get bar customers. Dumped wounded soldier. Threw trash around bar. Hired actress to befriend soldier. Coerced friend into taking a dive at wrestling. Injured friend during wrestling.
5-08: Insults customers. Handicapped cats. Destroyed a contract. Locked a secretary in a closet. Stormed an office. Insulted a mans wife. Put a gun in a mans mouth. Threw tequila in someones eyes. Broke into a car. Stalked strangers. Hired unwanted prostitutes. Shot a pistol inside an office. Duct taped a secretary.
5-09: Made fun of sister for getting a cat. Trashed sisters cupboards. Made snide remarks after stealing sisters bowl. Called friends losers and co-dependant. Called 911 because a friend was 30 minutes late. Cut toenails with a steak knife. Invaded sisters house. Tried to patch up a bleeding wound with candy wrappers. Put cheeto dust all over sisters wall. Put a second cat inside a wall. Caused a scene inside a nice restaurant. Ripped apart a perfectly good wall.
5-10: Abuses women. Tricked and harassed and threatened women. Steals old girlfriends. Broke into Waitress apartment. Insulted daughter. Lied to old girlfriend. Stalked waitress. Sabotaged friends. Conspired to stab waitress. Manipulated old boyfriend. Left old woman alone at carnival.
5-11: Spoke rudely to a production assistant. Practiced racism against Indians.Talking during a movie production. Argued with a producer. Broke with with sausage grease.
5-12: Poisoned rival bar. Insulted sister. Caused a scene in a classy restaurant. Put shampoo in the mayonnaise jar. Attacked college kids. Took unknown college drugs. Vandalized a house. Set lawn on fire. Poisoned frat boys.
5-02: Hid road trip from Sister. Harassed a bicyclist. Threw a bottle at a mans head, left him for dead on the road. Left sister at bar. Stole sisters vehicle. Shoved two friends into the back of a U-haul. Tried to steal sisters car. Haggled for a pear, complained about the pear. Drinking in a car. Lost a mini grill. Hit on a child. Peed in a jar. Threw piss at a passenger. Started fire in a U-haul. Bad-mouthed a hitchhiker. Forgot to wake up friends. Passed out in bar. Thinks Milwaukee is a state.
5-03: Ignored friend trying to kill himself. Suggested slashing tires. Disparaged the poor. Ate steak dinners while bar lost money. Fired sister to save money. Took out loan in daughters name. Burned trash in basement. Turned on closed sign when bar was open. Lived on street. Gave selves bonuses after ruining bar. Cut up 200 dollar shoe. Insulted Dave and Busters waitress. Spilled blood and wine at strangers house. Took advantage of poor alcoholics. Too bailout after deliberately ruining business.
5-04: Drinking in car. Crashed a funeral. Hit on aunt. hit on cousin. slept with aunt. slept with cousin. lied to therapist. drank before and during an intervention. threw salt on cousin, called her a snail.
5-05: Lied about getting married. Broke up with a guy over bad skin. Hit on an engaged man. Smacked a wasp nest in the bar. Became angry and jealous of waitress marriage. Left car in the middle of traffic. Meddled in wedding. Sabotaged bachelorette party. Lied about the Waitress. Snuck booze to an alcoholic. Insulted Waitress. Groped a woman in a restaurant. Gave hornets to a man as a present.
5-06: Used World Series as a defense of parking violations. Pushed man into poison for baseball tickets. Snuck into a game without tickets. Jumped in front of a car to blackmail a fan for tickets. Made fun of man for liking a ball player. Left friend to die in poison infected building. Fought with Philly Phanatic. Punched friend in nose. Broke into a hotel supply room. Lied to a judge.
5-07: Accused sister of catfishing soldiers. Exploited soldier to get bar customers. Dumped wounded soldier. Threw trash around bar. Hired actress to befriend soldier. Coerced friend into taking a dive at wrestling. Injured friend during wrestling.
5-08: Insults customers. Handicapped cats. Destroyed a contract. Locked a secretary in a closet. Stormed an office. Insulted a mans wife. Put a gun in a mans mouth. Threw tequila in someones eyes. Broke into a car. Stalked strangers. Hired unwanted prostitutes. Shot a pistol inside an office. Duct taped a secretary.
5-09: Made fun of sister for getting a cat. Trashed sisters cupboards. Made snide remarks after stealing sisters bowl. Called friends losers and co-dependant. Called 911 because a friend was 30 minutes late. Cut toenails with a steak knife. Invaded sisters house. Tried to patch up a bleeding wound with candy wrappers. Put cheeto dust all over sisters wall. Put a second cat inside a wall. Caused a scene inside a nice restaurant. Ripped apart a perfectly good wall.
5-10: Abuses women. Tricked and harassed and threatened women. Steals old girlfriends. Broke into Waitress apartment. Insulted daughter. Lied to old girlfriend. Stalked waitress. Sabotaged friends. Conspired to stab waitress. Manipulated old boyfriend. Left old woman alone at carnival.
5-11: Spoke rudely to a production assistant. Practiced racism against Indians.Talking during a movie production. Argued with a producer. Broke with with sausage grease.
5-12: Poisoned rival bar. Insulted sister. Caused a scene in a classy restaurant. Put shampoo in the mayonnaise jar. Attacked college kids. Took unknown college drugs. Vandalized a house. Set lawn on fire. Poisoned frat boys.
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