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"Everyone's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)"

casimec

Senior member
If I could offer you one tip for the future, sunscreen
would be it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the
rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my
own meandering
experience... I will dispense this advice now

Enjoy the power and beauty of you youth; oh,
nevermind, you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until
they've faded. But trust
me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself
and recall in a way
you can't grasp now, how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous
you really looked. You are NOT as fat as you imagine

Do not worry about the future; or worry, but know that
worrying is as
effective as trying to solve and algebra equation by
chewing bubblegum. The
real toubles in life are apt to be things that never
crossed your worried
mind; the kind the blindsides you an 4pm on some idle
Tuesday

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Do not be reckless with other peoples hearts. Do not
put up with people who
are reckless with yours

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're
ahead, sometimes you're
behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with
yourself

Remember compliments you recieve. Forget the
insults. If you suceed in doing
this, tell me how

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank
statements

Stretch

Do not feel guilty if you don't know what you wanna do
with your life,...
the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22
what they wanted to do
with their lives, some of the most ineresting 40 year
olds I know still
don't

Get plenty of calcium

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're
gone

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll
have children, maybe you
won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40. Maybe you'll dance
the funky chicken at
your 75th wedding anniversary.... Whatever you do,
don't congratulate
yourself too much or berate yourself either - your
choices are half chance,
so are everybody else's

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can... don't be
afraid of it, or what
other people think of it... it's the greatest instrument
you'll ever own

Dance... even if you have nowhere else to do it but in
your own living room

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them

Do NOT read beauty magazines they will only make
you feel UGLY

Get to know your parents, you never know when they
might be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; They're your best link to your
past, and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future

Understand that friends come and go, except for the
precious few you should
hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography
and lifestyle because the
older you get, the more you need the people you knew
when you were young

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes
you hard. Live in
Northern California once, but, leave before it makes
you soft

Travel

Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise,
Politicians will
philander, you too will get old. And when you do, you'll
fantasize that when
you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians
were noble, and children
respected their elders

Respect your elders

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe
you'llhave a trust fund,
maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never
know when either one might
run out

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time it's
40, it will look 85

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with
those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past
from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly
parts, and
recycling it for more than its worth

But trust me on the sunscreen
 
damn, some girl inserted that in my school newspaper and got called it her own. it was funny when someone brought in the baz luhrmann bit... she got pwned
 
we know we know...

your posting while drunk, there should be a law agains't that or somethin geez

happen to like that song though, nice story elguapo
 
Underwear Goes Inside The Pants:

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It?s a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what?s not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That?s not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We?re dedicating all our medical
resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we?re putting people in jail for
something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can?t watch TV for four minutes
without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: ?Do you ever wake up tired in the morning??
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don?t even know what the commercial is?
people running in fields or flying kites
or swimming in the ocean.
I?m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now? It is all about
self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids? self-esteem,
make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What?s going to happen to our p0rno industry?
These women don?t just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty
way to describe what these guys do, don?t you think?
They?re not masterminds.
?OK, you take bomb, right?
And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright??
?Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can?t I just??
?Who?s the fcking mastermind here? Me or you??

Americans, let?s face it:
We?ve been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we?re in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio.
Like we?ll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
?How?d you get through it grandpa??
?Oh, it was horrible Johnny,
there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.?

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I?ll sit at a drive thru.
I?ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized.
Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel
you fat mother fucker. There?s room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that?
It?s only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school,
do you think there?d be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
?You?ll see. I?m going to take of the world of computers! I?ll show them.?

We?re in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then
I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that?s what I?m going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they?re just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do?
Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack?
He?s homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy
and says why don?t you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing
his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants.
I?m guessing his resume isn?t all up to date.
I?m predicting some problems during the interview process.
I?m pretty sure even McDonalds has a
?underwear goes inside the pants? policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly,
but technically I?m sure it is on the books.
 
Originally posted by: casimec
If I could offer you one tip for the future, sunscreen
would be it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the
rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my
own meandering
experience... I will dispense this advice now

Enjoy the power and beauty of you youth; oh,
nevermind, you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until
they've faded. But trust
me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself
and recall in a way
you can't grasp now, how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous
you really looked. You are NOT as fat as you imagine

Do not worry about the future; or worry, but know that
worrying is as
effective as trying to solve and algebra equation by
chewing bubblegum. The
real toubles in life are apt to be things that never
crossed your worried
mind; the kind the blindsides you an 4pm on some idle
Tuesday

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Do not be reckless with other peoples hearts. Do not
put up with people who
are reckless with yours

Floss

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're
ahead, sometimes you're
behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with
yourself

Remember compliments you recieve. Forget the
insults. If you suceed in doing
this, tell me how

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank
statements

Stretch

Do not feel guilty if you don't know what you wanna do
with your life,...
the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22
what they wanted to do
with their lives, some of the most ineresting 40 year
olds I know still
don't

Get plenty of calcium

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're
gone

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll
have children, maybe you
won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40. Maybe you'll dance
the funky chicken at
your 75th wedding anniversary.... Whatever you do,
don't congratulate
yourself too much or berate yourself either - your
choices are half chance,
so are everybody else's

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can... don't be
afraid of it, or what
other people think of it... it's the greatest instrument
you'll ever own

Dance... even if you have nowhere else to do it but in
your own living room

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them

Do NOT read beauty magazines they will only make
you feel UGLY

Get to know your parents, you never know when they
might be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; They're your best link to your
past, and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future

Understand that friends come and go, except for the
precious few you should
hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography
and lifestyle because the
older you get, the more you need the people you knew
when you were young

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes
you hard. Live in
Northern California once, but, leave before it makes
you soft

Travel

Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise,
Politicians will
philander, you too will get old. And when you do, you'll
fantasize that when
you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians
were noble, and children
respected their elders

Respect your elders

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe
you'llhave a trust fund,
maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never
know when either one might
run out

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time it's
40, it will look 85

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with
those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past
from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly
parts, and
recycling it for more than its worth

But trust me on the sunscreen



thanks
 
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