MmmSkyscraper
Diamond Member
- Jul 6, 2004
- 9,472
- 1
- 76
Quite the opposite here. When I went through some crap all my friends immediately rallied around me. Taking me out, support, bringing me food, etc.
I figure this is how real friends are supposed to act. Their like an extended family.
I figure this is how real friends are supposed to act. Their like an extended family.
AreaCode707
Lifer
- Sep 21, 2001
- 18,447
- 133
- 106
I'm from NorCal. I've never had the problem of losing friends in bad times. Then again, I keep a fairly close core group of friends and not a lot of chaff, so there isn't much to fall off in bad times.
Dumac
Diamond Member
- Dec 31, 2005
- 9,391
- 1
- 0
Depending upon the type of people you befriend and the how skilled you are at choosing friends, friends can either be vital support in dire times or just sycophants. Most of my friends would probably abandon me, but I wager that a few would stick through the turbulence.
Amused
Elite Member
- Apr 14, 2001
- 57,483
- 20,009
- 146
The hard truth about it is almost no one likes a downer. No one likes to be bombarded by negativity and depressing things.
Yes, true friends will help and be there for you, but even they wont like it. Who would?
When things go wrong you quickly learn who you can rely on to suffer through it with you, and who you need to put a happy face on for.
To be honest, when someone is going through something bad, I HATE if all they do is talk about negative things and drag everyone down with them. If I am close, I will try to help but man, I can only take it in short doses.
If all your friends disappear when you're going through rough times, you have to ask yourself if you're being too whiny or negative.
edit: OK, reading this some may think I'm being a prick. But when you think you're right and the whole world is wrong, you need to examine yourself VERY closely and be very critical of yourself to make sure it's not you that's the problem.
Something I learned long ago.
Yes, true friends will help and be there for you, but even they wont like it. Who would?
When things go wrong you quickly learn who you can rely on to suffer through it with you, and who you need to put a happy face on for.
To be honest, when someone is going through something bad, I HATE if all they do is talk about negative things and drag everyone down with them. If I am close, I will try to help but man, I can only take it in short doses.
If all your friends disappear when you're going through rough times, you have to ask yourself if you're being too whiny or negative.
edit: OK, reading this some may think I'm being a prick. But when you think you're right and the whole world is wrong, you need to examine yourself VERY closely and be very critical of yourself to make sure it's not you that's the problem.
Something I learned long ago.
yeah here come the self-righteous / choose your friends wisely / i don't have any bad friends choir.
AreaCode707
Lifer
- Sep 21, 2001
- 18,447
- 133
- 106
Originally posted by: compuwiz1
Live long enough, and you will. The business world is very clique oriented.
Sorry about this post. Most of you guys are too young to understand. This coming from a 40 something business man, who has been up the ladder, and back down, at least a couple times.On the up side, you're like a magnet. On the downside, you're like a garden ho...nobody wants to get stuck.
I think maybe you're relying on business associates too much as "friends". There is a line between business friends and real friends, and very few people cross that line. Business friends will disappear depending on circumstances, and a lot of that is just because putting in the effort to keep in touch isn't on the agenda. Some of it is political, that your downfall could hurt them. Real friends aren't impacted in the same way at all.
skyking
Lifer
- Nov 21, 2001
- 22,822
- 5,987
- 146
"Nobody knows you when you're down and out"
Jimmy Witherspoon
As sung by the Chad Mitchell Trio
I lived the life of a millionaire,
Spent all my money, like I didn't care.
Took all my friends out for a mighty good time,
Fancy whisky, champagne and wine.
Then I began to fall so low,
didn't have no money and no place to go.
If I get my hands on a dollar again,
I'm gonna hang on to it till that eagle grins.
'Cause nobody knows you
When you're down and out.
In your pocket, you haven't got a penny,
As for your friends, ain't too many.
When you get back up on your feet again,
Everybody wants to be your long-lost friend.
It's mighty strange, without a doubt,
Nobody knows you when you're down and out.
When you get back upon your feet again,
Everybody wants to be your long-lost friend.
It's mighty strange, without a doubt,
Ain't nobody knows you when you're down and out.
I mean, when you're down and out.
Jimmy Witherspoon
As sung by the Chad Mitchell Trio
I lived the life of a millionaire,
Spent all my money, like I didn't care.
Took all my friends out for a mighty good time,
Fancy whisky, champagne and wine.
Then I began to fall so low,
didn't have no money and no place to go.
If I get my hands on a dollar again,
I'm gonna hang on to it till that eagle grins.
'Cause nobody knows you
When you're down and out.
In your pocket, you haven't got a penny,
As for your friends, ain't too many.
When you get back up on your feet again,
Everybody wants to be your long-lost friend.
It's mighty strange, without a doubt,
Nobody knows you when you're down and out.
When you get back upon your feet again,
Everybody wants to be your long-lost friend.
It's mighty strange, without a doubt,
Ain't nobody knows you when you're down and out.
I mean, when you're down and out.
MustangSVT
Lifer
- Oct 7, 2000
- 11,554
- 12
- 81
Originally posted by: HotChic
Originally posted by: compuwiz1
Live long enough, and you will. The business world is very clique oriented.
Sorry about this post. Most of you guys are too young to understand. This coming from a 40 something business man, who has been up the ladder, and back down, at least a couple times.
I think maybe you're relying on business associates too much as "friends". There is a line between business friends and real friends, and very few people cross that line. Business friends will disappear depending on circumstances, and a lot of that is just because putting in the effort to keep in touch isn't on the agenda. Some of it is political, that your downfall could hurt them. Real friends aren't impacted in the same way at all.
/thread
When I crashed my car, then got mugged, and found out my company is going out of business, the only people who were there for me were really close friends. Everyone else... haven't really heard from them. Screw em.
I've noticed it but it usually only happens with friends that have girlfriends. For example my high school buddies and I all got long-term girlfriends. We used to always drink together and do was really crazy sh1t, but we hung out less and less. Then I broke up with mine and was getting ready to move across the state, and none of them ever gave me a call. I called them but it gets old after awhile when you're the one who always has to arrange everything. That was a really crappy time for me and I only had my family to count on.
Then I come back for Spring Break and have my Dad's house empty for a week. Again, nobody gave a crap because they live with their girlfriends now and turned into hermits.
Then I come back for Spring Break and have my Dad's house empty for a week. Again, nobody gave a crap because they live with their girlfriends now and turned into hermits.
kranky
Elite Member
- Oct 9, 1999
- 21,019
- 156
- 106
I am extremely lucky to have a good number of close friends that I can count on for anything. But none of them are business associates. I'm like the anti-networking person - I'm good at my job, get along with everyone, but I don't want to be close friends with co-workers or business associates. I don't want to socialize with business associates at all. All the ones I've encountered are as superficial and self-serving as they come. It's a good thing I don't need to do that to be successful at my job.
I know it must be a huge disappointment to see people you thought were friends disappear during tough times. I can only imagine how I would feel.
I know it must be a huge disappointment to see people you thought were friends disappear during tough times. I can only imagine how I would feel.
Actually, someone famous once said, if when you die, you have two close friends, you've done a good job.
I do have two close friends, who lead very busy lives. The people I'm talking about, were are people, who I met thru business / work. I have overestimated our relationships, as was found out, when I needed a job. Lots of talk...little action. Sometimes we learn that not everyone you think is your enemy, and not everyone you think is your friend.
<---not a rotten person. On the forums, maybe to some, but to others here, I have years long relationships with.
I do have two close friends, who lead very busy lives. The people I'm talking about, were are people, who I met thru business / work. I have overestimated our relationships, as was found out, when I needed a job. Lots of talk...little action. Sometimes we learn that not everyone you think is your enemy, and not everyone you think is your friend.
<---not a rotten person. On the forums, maybe to some, but to others here, I have years long relationships with.
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