Ever had a parent "open up" to you with more info than you really wanted to hear?

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: Sumguy
My dad likes to tell me about the multiple women he has boned. And how ***we*** would bone some women he sees on the streets.

:shocked:

 

[funkymatt]

Originally posted by: Fayd
wow, this thread is some funny shit.

maybe it's just my family, but any topic like that is like...dont go there. i dont think i've ever seen my parents kiss, and havent heard or seen any indication that they've had sex since..uh.. i was concieved.

maybe they're just really good about hiding it..but at least it saves me from any awkward moments.

your parents weren't practicing safe sex, they were practicing quiet sex.

 

[sandorski]

:laugh:

My Mom told me something once that gave me the willies. It was so disturbing I have expunged all the details and left just the fact that something happened.

 

[MikeMike]

over the summer we were all drinking at a funeral after party, and my dad said to my brother "why are you still playing beer pong, you should be getting laid."... and then some other inappropriate stuff... but my family is completely amazing at being hilarious.

 

[clamum]

Originally posted by: jagec
My mom randomly mentioned that one of her ex-bfs had talked her into anal sex, but she didn't like it because "it hurt...I don't know what people get out of it."

She also mentioned that the first time she gave a blowjob (don't know if it was the same guy) she "took it too literally...I blew and blew but of course nothing happened. Later I learned the correct way."

Once my sister was apparently on her period and was sitting on the toilet throwing up into the trash (I just thought she was sick). She asked me to bring her some more TP, so I did. Then she said "Yeah, now I remember why I was taking birth control, it was MUCH more mild then."

:laugh: Good stuff.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

This one was absolutely not me; this is third person hearsay, it may be completely false, I don't know. Apparently a friend of a friend was watching his parents' house while they went away for a weekend. The dad said, "you can go ahead and sleep in our bed." Well, the guy wanted none of that, saying "I don't want to sleep where you guys do... stuff." Without batting an eye, the dad responds, "You eat at the kitchen table, don't you?"

I never really had embarrassing moments with my parents. One of my mothers died when I was a sophomore in college. My other mother handed me an envelope shortly after the death and said, "Here, Donna wanted you to have this." I opened it up to find three condoms and a step-by-step instruction guide with pictures showing how to use them. My two best friends happened to be there at the time, and I had told them I figured it was money, so of course they were eager to see the contents. The look on their face was just gold (then again, I'm sure the look on my face was pretty good at that point; I mean, for fuck's sake, I was 19, I know how to use a damn condom). That was the extent of the "sex talk" from my parents; an envelope from my dead mother with some condoms. Nice.

Oh, and my mothers would occasionally wax nostalgic about the lesbian hippie commune they lived in in the 70s... Like 20 different women living in the same house. Basically, it was just a big orgy. That almost ruined any sexualization of lesbians for me... Not quite, but that's just not something you want to think about your parents doing, you know?