European Union Decision on Official Language
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the
other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will
make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they
should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o"
kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors
be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech
ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!
😛
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the
other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will
make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they
should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o"
kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors
be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech
ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!
😛
