Ethics question... (mods, please remove this post)

[santz]

OP, it sucks to be you, in your situation where both the husband and wife have long been friends! I really hope I never face a situation like this myself.

But to make a decision, if you think what would you want if the table were reversed and it was you wife who cheated on you, would you want to to be told the truth?

 

[GundamW]

Sticky situation.
OP, does your company has an ethics department/officer? If you do, you can report the incident to him/her. That way your supervisor is not involved and you have your story down.
What I am trying to prevent is her (and the temp) falsely accusing you of sexual harassment just to get you in trouble and invalidate your story to her husband.

 

[Jugernot]

Ok, After much thinking... I called the husband and told him. He said he suspected it himself and had even asked her, to which she denied. He said he was obviously devistated, but appreciated me contacting him and felt that I was a true friend to him....

I kind of feel better now....

 

[surfsatwerk]

Ok, After much thinking... I called the husband and told him. He said he suspected it himself and had even asked her, to which she denied. He said he was obviously devistated, but appreciated me contacting him and felt that I was a true friend to him....

I kind of feel better now....

Personally I would rather lose my job than keep such information to myself. I've gone through the experience of having my ex wife cheat on me and could never keep another person in ignorance if I knew it was happening to them.

 

[dfuze]

Marriage = long over

Not necessarily, could be a moment of weakness. Doesn't excuse it, but it doesn't mean that it is unrecoverable.

 

[child of wonder]

I would tell the husband just out of spite for the wife.

Dude gets a job to support his family and the wife bangs other guys while he's away. That's just wrong.

 

[Newbian]

Sounds to me like your personal feelings are getting in the way.

You could easily get fired for threatening the guy like you did instead of simply reporting it if you believe it's a work issue they need to look at since it could be hurt their performance to have the relationship in the workplace.

Other then that you have no right telling the two how to live and trying to force them to stop would only open you up to getting fired / lawsuit for it.

 

[BoomerD]

Any bets on how long it'll be before the OP posts this:

"Wow. Crazed gunman at my workplace shot and killed his wife, the temp worker she was fucking, and 4 other people. If only I'd have known he was crazy, maybe I could have stopped him!" ?

 

[dabuddha]

If you consider the husband a friend, then you should tell him, simple as that.

 

[Malak]

If you were the husband, would you want to know? Real easy decision.

 

[dpodblood]

Ok, After much thinking... I called the husband and told him. He said he suspected it himself and had even asked her, to which she denied. He said he was obviously devistated, but appreciated me contacting him and felt that I was a true friend to him....

I kind of feel better now....

It's hard to feel good about it since the whole situation just sucks. At least know that you did the right thing though.

 

[crashtestdummy]

If the husband is a good friend, tell him. If he's just a coworker, than it's really not your job to be managing the love lives of your coworkers.

 

[dabuddha]

It's hard to feel good about it since the whole situation just sucks. At least know that you did the right thing though.

This sums it up best. Either action you would have taken would have left you feeling like shit but at least you know you did the right thing.

 

[zinfamous]

myob, obviously.

no sense in breaking the news that might ruin the marriage, if it's something that can be avoided. These are issues for them to worry about, not you.

 

[Krazy4Real]

I would tell him if it was a good friend. If not, then I probably wouldn't bother.

 

[MrColin]

You have no business interfering in any of the relationships, either the temp and the slutty wife, or the slutty wife and the husband. You would be right to weigh your discovery into deciding whether to black-ball the temp though.

You don't have any idea what privately is going on in the marriage and its none of your business either.

 

[BoomerD]

You have no business interfering in any of the relationships, either the temp and the slutty wife, or the slutty wife and the husband. You would be right to weigh your discovery into deciding whether to black-ball the temp though.

You don't have any idea what privately is going on in the marriage and its none of your business either.

True dat...PLUS, there could be repercussions over violating what many companies would consider to be a personnel matter...and confidentiality rules.

 

[surfsatwerk]

True dat...PLUS, there could be repercussions over violating what many companies would consider to be a personnel matter...and confidentiality rules.

That may be the smart thing to do, but the guy's got to be able to look himself in the mirror.

 

[datalink7]

myob, obviously.

no sense in breaking the news that might ruin the marriage, if it's something that can be avoided. These are issues for them to worry about, not you.

I completely disagree with this "mind your own business" saying being applied to everything.

This guy is his friend. Part of being a friend is looking out for him. It is his business, as a friend, letting him know what is going on.

Heck, it is his business as an empathetic human being letting another man (or woman) know what is going on.

There's something wrong with a culture when we become so self centered that anything that doesn't directly affect our personal physical being is no longer our business.

Thumbs up to the OP for letting him know.