Hey guys,
I need your help once again. I have an essay due tomorrow, and it?d be great if you guys could give me a grade on it (scale of 1-9) and any suggestions for improvement. The Essay prompt is on link 1.
"Rachel Carson wanted to educate farmers against careless usage of deadly poisons (i.e. Parathion) in exterminating agricultural pests. She uses ethos, logos, and pathos to back up her claim in questioning the necessity of using deadly poisons in agricultural applications, and explains the need for farmers to understand the long term effects of Parathion on harming unintended animal species and humans.
As a biologist, Rachel established her credibility on understanding the long-term effects of poisons, and their harm to species beyond the original pest. Her reference to the National Fish and Wildlife service, a government agency specializing in wildlife, further verifies her concern of poisons causing significant negative environment effects. Given how the government agency concurred with Rachel?s concerns, this furthers verifies the authenticity of her claims.
The example given in the passage establishes an emotional appeal to the reader by emphasizing the danger through the usage of real-world examples. ?In California?, workers handling foliage that had been treated a month earlier collapsed and went into shock, and escaped death only through skilled medical attention.? This proves to the reader the long-term effects that the poison has to the environment, and shocks the reader by exposing the poison?s serious effect on its unintentional target, humans. The emotional connection caused by this passage allows the concern to ?hit home,? by allowing the reader to realize the eminent danger, and forces one to consider alternative options to poison.
Carson also established the Parathion?s effect as an ?universal killer.? ?But such rabbits or raccoons or opossums as may have roamed those bottomlands and perhaps never visited the farmers? cornfields were doomed by a judge and jury who neither knew of their existence nor cared.? Because the Parathion is an ?universal killer,? it not only kills its intended target, but also has an effect on other wildlife and even humans.
In addition, the example of the poison having a serious effect on a worker questions the abilities of farmers to protect themselves and naïve visitors from harming themselves with the residue of this poison. ?If so, who guarded the poisoned area to keep out any who might wander in, in misguided search for unspoiled nature? further qualifies a logical concern about a farmer?s ability to use such poisons and protect others from it at the most basic level. Thus, it raises the evidence of a lack of preparation prior to the usage of this product, in establishing the most basic procedures in preventing accidental exposure to unintended audiences.
The writer used the examples I mentioned, fitting under the three appeals of ethos, logos, and pathos, to establish her persuasion with evidence to cause one to reconsider the usage of poisons such as Parathion, due to their dangers. She lays out the poison?s effects, their consequences on humans, it?s harm to animals that were not part of their original target, and backs this up with a real-life example of a human suffering from exposure. Together, her strategies generate a strong criticism of the current unprepared practice of using poisons, and forces the agricultural readers of the passage to reconsider the usage of poisons and consider using alternative products that pose less risk to nature and other animals."
1
Thanks again, I really appreciate it.
I need your help once again. I have an essay due tomorrow, and it?d be great if you guys could give me a grade on it (scale of 1-9) and any suggestions for improvement. The Essay prompt is on link 1.
"Rachel Carson wanted to educate farmers against careless usage of deadly poisons (i.e. Parathion) in exterminating agricultural pests. She uses ethos, logos, and pathos to back up her claim in questioning the necessity of using deadly poisons in agricultural applications, and explains the need for farmers to understand the long term effects of Parathion on harming unintended animal species and humans.
As a biologist, Rachel established her credibility on understanding the long-term effects of poisons, and their harm to species beyond the original pest. Her reference to the National Fish and Wildlife service, a government agency specializing in wildlife, further verifies her concern of poisons causing significant negative environment effects. Given how the government agency concurred with Rachel?s concerns, this furthers verifies the authenticity of her claims.
The example given in the passage establishes an emotional appeal to the reader by emphasizing the danger through the usage of real-world examples. ?In California?, workers handling foliage that had been treated a month earlier collapsed and went into shock, and escaped death only through skilled medical attention.? This proves to the reader the long-term effects that the poison has to the environment, and shocks the reader by exposing the poison?s serious effect on its unintentional target, humans. The emotional connection caused by this passage allows the concern to ?hit home,? by allowing the reader to realize the eminent danger, and forces one to consider alternative options to poison.
Carson also established the Parathion?s effect as an ?universal killer.? ?But such rabbits or raccoons or opossums as may have roamed those bottomlands and perhaps never visited the farmers? cornfields were doomed by a judge and jury who neither knew of their existence nor cared.? Because the Parathion is an ?universal killer,? it not only kills its intended target, but also has an effect on other wildlife and even humans.
In addition, the example of the poison having a serious effect on a worker questions the abilities of farmers to protect themselves and naïve visitors from harming themselves with the residue of this poison. ?If so, who guarded the poisoned area to keep out any who might wander in, in misguided search for unspoiled nature? further qualifies a logical concern about a farmer?s ability to use such poisons and protect others from it at the most basic level. Thus, it raises the evidence of a lack of preparation prior to the usage of this product, in establishing the most basic procedures in preventing accidental exposure to unintended audiences.
The writer used the examples I mentioned, fitting under the three appeals of ethos, logos, and pathos, to establish her persuasion with evidence to cause one to reconsider the usage of poisons such as Parathion, due to their dangers. She lays out the poison?s effects, their consequences on humans, it?s harm to animals that were not part of their original target, and backs this up with a real-life example of a human suffering from exposure. Together, her strategies generate a strong criticism of the current unprepared practice of using poisons, and forces the agricultural readers of the passage to reconsider the usage of poisons and consider using alternative products that pose less risk to nature and other animals."
1
Thanks again, I really appreciate it.
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