ESL: I need help correcting this sentence.

[Kroze]

Those countless hours she wasted on watching television have caught up to her physically and mentally.


Is there anything wrong with it? verb tense? subject/verb agreements?
etc...

please help.

 

[MichaelD]

She's a frickin' burnout cause she stares at the tube all day.


Fixed.

 

[Slvrtg277]

How bout this?

That dumb broad spent too much time watching TV, so now she has a fat butt and she's stupid.

 

[Ilmater]

Originally posted by: Kroze
Those countless hours she wasted on watching television have caught up to her physically and mentally.


Is there anything wrong with it? verb tense? subject/verb agreements?
etc...

please help.

I don't see anything wrong with it. I could see myself writing that sentence and I wouldn't think twice about it.

 

[Nebor]

Originally posted by: Ilmater

Originally posted by: Kroze
Those countless hours she wasted on watching television have caught up to her physically and mentally.


Is there anything wrong with it? verb tense? subject/verb agreements?
etc...

please help.

I don't see anything wrong with it. I could see myself writing that sentence and I wouldn't think twice about it.

EDIT: Actually, I might remove the "on."

 

[MrChad]

I would change "Those" to "The" and "on" to "by"

The countless hours she wasted by watching television have caught up to her physically and mentally.

 

[Slvrtg277]

Originally posted by: MrChad
I would change "Those" to "The" and "on" to "by"

The countless hours she wasted by watching television have caught up to her physically and mentally.

And add "both"....and maybe an "apostrophe s", depending on usage.

The countless hours she's wasted by watching television have caught up to her both physically and mentally.

 

[richardycc]

might as well add the word "finally" between have and caught. haha

 

[HardcoreRobot]

Originally posted by: Slvrtg277

Originally posted by: MrChad
I would change "Those" to "The" and "on" to "by"

The countless hours she wasted by watching television have caught up to her physically and mentally.

And add "both"....and maybe an "apostrophe s", depending on usage.

The countless hours she's wasted by watching television have caught up to her both physically and mentally.

I am in agreement with the'on', it sounds better left out.
'The' or 'Those', doesnt matter so much. 'Those' would be more appropriate if you were just talking about those same hours in the previous sentence.
I disagree with making she a contraction. If you wanted you, could change it to say ... she has wasted... but that depends on the tense you want it in. I think

Those countless hours that she wasted watching television finally caught up to her physically and mentally.

sounds the best IMO

 

[bunker]

The countless hours she wasted watching television finally caught up to her both physically and mentally.

 

[GasX]

Do your own damn homework!

 

[RaDragon]

How about:

Those countless hours she wasted while watching television finally affected her both physically and mentally.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: Mwilding
Do your own damn homework!

I don't see the connection between the original sentence and yours. If she was watching that much TV then she would have had no time left for homework.

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: Garet Jax

Originally posted by: Mwilding
Do your own damn homework!

I don't see the connection between the original sentence and yours. If she was watching that much TV then she would have had no time left for homework.

Good point - hmm, let me try again.

Too much TV fries your brain, Yo!

 

[Papagayo]

How about:

TV be BAD.. She be DEAD..

 

[Scarpozzi]

Those countless hours she wasted on watching television have caught up to her physically and mentally.


should be revised to

Those countless hours she wasted watching television have caught up to her both physically and mentally.

 

[isasir]

"verb tense" and "subject/verb agreements" are not complete sentences. It should read:

"Is the verb tense correct?"
"Are the subject and verb in agreement?"

The 'p' in please help should be capitalized.

 

[oog]

I think I would write it like this:

Those countless hours that she wasted watching television finally caught up to her both physically and mentally.

There's nothing wrong with the original sentence though. I think the introduction of "that" allows the reader to know to continue to wait for the continuation of the main part of the sentence (Those countless hours ... finally caught up to her...). Otherwise, the reader has to realize that the sentence isn't continuing right away.

 

[Tates]

Countless hours idled away, in front of a TV set, have taken a toll on her both mentally and physically.

 

[oog]

I think you could also drop the word "watching" and have it read: "Those countless hours she wasted on television..."