My purpose is to inform you as best I can, not to make you see anything. I just want to give you information. I see sadness and loneliness because I sense you are very resistant to what I have to say. Naturally I do not know what personal issues you have that causes you to react strongly to what I say, but I do know why you would choose to see only the positive self love you have for yourself because I am motivated to do the same. For me, however, that option was not sustainable. I had a great deal of help and an unquenchable pain. I had a terrible need. This is how I first became aware of unconscious assumptions and how all my opinions about the world were bunk. Since the place that I arrived at ended my existential suffering and freed me forever from it, I have a great with to share it with others, but not a need that you see. It is more like a being duty to give the best I can. Whether you take anything or not is up to you. As it happens then, I care not that you find me tedious or anything else. I respond to what I feel.
As I believe that it is you who mostly tells me that what I post bothers you, I am forced to take that as your hidden self calling to me. I feel a moral responsibility to answer that call. But since another part of you wishes to challenge what I say, I cause the part of you that you know to be you to be upset.
I guess, then, I will respond eventually if you want to challenge thing is say, since I see that as emotional need, but I won't engage you otherwise or for a while in the first case just so you understand I have no such need.
Edit: I should have added I have said what I said above because your post, while I am sure it is heart felt, doesn't seem to be addressed to me but to somebody else. It seems deeply private and personal.
