Okay, here is the story I have an English paper do tomorrow that pretty much decides my grade. Could you guys and gals tell me how I can change this persuasive letter of initial position to a magazine for the better?
Mr. Stephen G. Smith
U.S. News and World Report
1050 Thomas Jefferson Street NW
Washington, DC 20007-3837
Dear Sir:
There is currently a debate raging in the medical community on what must be done to decrease the number of medical errors. Deaths as a result of medical errors have become an enormous problem. It is estimated that up to ninety thousand people per year in the United States die because of medical errors. Something must be done about this problem. It is the opinion of numerous qualified individuals that medical errors should be publicly reported. One reason why medical errors should be reported publicly is that hospitals and their staff would be forced to show greater care in their work for fear of lawsuits. Hospitals simply could not afford more lawsuits and changes would be immediate.
A second reason why medical errors should be made public is that it would cause doctors and nurses to fully implement the technology they already have installed. An example of this is the computer software hospitals possess to analyze drug prescriptions. The software analyzes drug prescriptions to prevent accidental overdoses or negative reactions because of a bad combination of drugs. Sixty percent of hospitals have this software installed, but less than one percent actually use it.
A third reason why medical errors should be made public is that doctors and nurses would be forced to become more conscientious for fear of their reputations being ruined. Allen Zarkin would not have inscribed his initials on a woman's abdomen if he knew that his career would be ended because of public outrage. The innocent woman he harmed would have been spared the permanent mutilation she suffered if Allen Zarkin had in his mind that he would be publicly embarrassed.
Public reporting of medical errors must be implemented to solve the problem of needless harm or death caused to patients. If nothing is done about the problem countless numbers of people will continue to be harmed. Who would want to see a family member or friend seriously harmed or murdered because of an avoidable medical mistake? No one would. Publicly reporting medical errors is the solution.
Sincerely,
Signature
Burn
Mr. Stephen G. Smith
U.S. News and World Report
1050 Thomas Jefferson Street NW
Washington, DC 20007-3837
Dear Sir:
There is currently a debate raging in the medical community on what must be done to decrease the number of medical errors. Deaths as a result of medical errors have become an enormous problem. It is estimated that up to ninety thousand people per year in the United States die because of medical errors. Something must be done about this problem. It is the opinion of numerous qualified individuals that medical errors should be publicly reported. One reason why medical errors should be reported publicly is that hospitals and their staff would be forced to show greater care in their work for fear of lawsuits. Hospitals simply could not afford more lawsuits and changes would be immediate.
A second reason why medical errors should be made public is that it would cause doctors and nurses to fully implement the technology they already have installed. An example of this is the computer software hospitals possess to analyze drug prescriptions. The software analyzes drug prescriptions to prevent accidental overdoses or negative reactions because of a bad combination of drugs. Sixty percent of hospitals have this software installed, but less than one percent actually use it.
A third reason why medical errors should be made public is that doctors and nurses would be forced to become more conscientious for fear of their reputations being ruined. Allen Zarkin would not have inscribed his initials on a woman's abdomen if he knew that his career would be ended because of public outrage. The innocent woman he harmed would have been spared the permanent mutilation she suffered if Allen Zarkin had in his mind that he would be publicly embarrassed.
Public reporting of medical errors must be implemented to solve the problem of needless harm or death caused to patients. If nothing is done about the problem countless numbers of people will continue to be harmed. Who would want to see a family member or friend seriously harmed or murdered because of an avoidable medical mistake? No one would. Publicly reporting medical errors is the solution.
Sincerely,
Signature
Burn