Enemas

[classy]

Just take a fiber supplement.

 

[Schadenfreude]

Originally posted by: azazyel
There are actually noninvasive enemas as well, their mostly called flushes. When I was on my fast I did a salt water flush almost daily. If you ever want to play a REALLY mean trick on a friend have them pound a quart of warm water with a tablespoon of salt in it. But you will want to do it at their place though, if they accidentally fart it's all over.

My friends and I have this unspoken agreement that we don't speak of, think about or go anywhere near each other's anuses.

I know I started this, somewhat, but there's too much personal info floating around in this thread! Too many floaters! Arrrgh!

 

[Archman]

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: Encryptic

Originally posted by: desk

Originally posted by: Jehovah
You know, coincidentally, this came up at a discussion yesterday - apparently the membranes of the colon absorb nutrients (& others, this is important) much quicker than if it's put in the "other way" - basically, the focus wasn't so much on enemas, but I digress - essentially, you can get blitzed if you get an enema with one can of beer - if you do any more, your ass is going to the hospital for alchohol poisoning (pun intended).

actually....i just saw an article where somebody died from doing exactly that. and their spouse was arrested for manslaughter or something.

Yeah, there was a thread a couple weeks ago about a woman whose husband was an alcoholic. Apparently she gave him a sherry enema and he subsequently died of alcohol poisoning.

Yeah - and like I said - ONE CAN of beer - I believe they used something like an entire bottle of sherry . . ..

Actually in South America a bunch of Archaeologists found these ceramic tubes that were large long (maybe 3 feet) and they couldn't figure out what the heck they were used for with the ancient cultures that were there.

One Archaeologist suggested that they were musical instruments, and tried to prove his point by putting blowing through it... well it didn't work. Other Archaeologists thought perhaps some sort of religious uses, and others thought perhaps some strange form of simplified artwork.

Well, they finally figured out what they were used for after an analysis of the residue traces they found inside the tubes.

Tobacco enemas... talk about getting down on your knees and seeing the GODS! Yikes!!! Apparently pure tobacco, not the stuff you get in your ciggarettes with over 4,100 chemicals, but pure tobacco will have you seeing the Gods if it is pumped up your rectum due to the absoprtion rate of the membranes there... and the skin is closest to your eye lids if you would like a comparison...

don't ask me how I know this last bit about the skin comparison... just call me cliff clavin

 

[azazyel]

Originally posted by: Jehovah

Originally posted by: azazyel
There are actually noninvasive enemas as well, their mostly called flushes. When I was on my fast I did a salt water flush almost daily. If you ever want to play a REALLY mean trick on a friend have them pound a quart of warm water with a tablespoon of salt in it. But you will want to do it at their place though, if they accidentally fart it's all over.

My friends and I have this unspoken agreement that we don't speak of, think about or go anywhere near each other's anuses.

I know I started this, somewhat, but there's too much personal info floating around in this thread! Too many floaters! Arrrgh!

Dood, you drink it hence noninvasive.

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: MaverickBP
enema is many different processes. one popular is a bullet shaped pill (the rifle size ones) they stick up ur ass to help bowel movements. enjoy!

Um, no. That is a suppository.

 

[MaverickBP]

yaya ive been corrected

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: Archman
Actually in South America a bunch of Archaeologists found these ceramic tubes that were large long (maybe 3 feet) and they couldn't figure out what the heck they were used for with the ancient cultures that were there.

In Egypt they were obsessed with cleaning out the colon. The believed the answer to staying young and living long, was removing the waste from your bowels because they affiliated it with death.

So they would constantly consume laxatives to flush themselves out. I don't remember if they ventured with colonics though.

 

[MaverickBP]

i had a baron enema (however u pronounce or spell that) after a major accident/surgery. my aunt also had one and she said its worse than giving birth. i tell you what...i got so far past yelling that i was like catatonic....not something youd wish on anyone

 

[jjzelinski]

Originally posted by: azazyel
There are actually noninvasive enemas as well, their mostly called flushes. When I was on my fast I did a salt water flush almost daily. If you ever want to play a REALLY mean trick on a friend have them pound a quart of warm water with a tablespoon of salt in it. But you will want to do it at their place though, if they accidentally fart it's all over.

That got a big damn laugh out of me in the the middle of work, hard to explain to them why I just pierced the silence to so abruptly.

 

[vi edit]

Coffee enemas are supposed to provide one hell of a buzz.

 

[azazyel]

Originally posted by: jjzelinski

Originally posted by: azazyel
There are actually noninvasive enemas as well, their mostly called flushes. When I was on my fast I did a salt water flush almost daily. If you ever want to play a REALLY mean trick on a friend have them pound a quart of warm water with a tablespoon of salt in it. But you will want to do it at their place though, if they accidentally fart it's all over.

That got a big damn laugh out of me in the the middle of work, hard to explain to them why I just pierced the silence to so abruptly.

Glad I could help, the farting thing was advice from someone who had done the fast before me. Honestly, I was thankful I listened.

 

[shimsham]

i used to give them to my father when he was alive. quite nasty, but necessary for a bedridden paraplegic.

 

[Literati]

Just sit on a nipper and do a handstand you disgusting animals.

And then tell us if it worked.

 

[Encryptic]

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: Archman
Actually in South America a bunch of Archaeologists found these ceramic tubes that were large long (maybe 3 feet) and they couldn't figure out what the heck they were used for with the ancient cultures that were there.

In Egypt they were obsessed with cleaning out the colon. The believed the answer to staying young and living long, was removing the waste from your bowels because they affiliated it with death.

So they would constantly consume laxatives to flush themselves out. I don't remember if they ventured with colonics though.

There was a period of time in France during the reign of one of the Louises (Louis XIV?) where the nobility was absolutely obsessed with enemas as well, to the point of having them done every single day. They even had special enema syringes made out of gold and mother of pearl, as well as different formulations scented with roses and whatnot.

They used to call them "restaurants", as in "to restore". IIRC, tobacco enemas were also quite the rage at that time which might have explained why enemas were so popular (the obvious nicotine addiction).

 

[JeffCos]

http://www.roex.com/wow.htm Enema in a bottle without the icky part. People have been known to take this stuff for a few days and then drop absurdly large duces...We're talking like 20lbs!!

edit: another good colon cleanser is green tea. Drink a large glass of green tea every night and I guarantee you will poop alot. (Mods: my apologies in advance, please edit if too graphic) You should be able to see that it has a weird shape...roundish like it was stuck to the inside of a tube. That's what you want to get rid of.

 

[Baked]

It's very kinky. You see it in hentai all the time... no wait, nm.

So I watched it on Jackass or something once. They stick a garden hose up your bum and fill your large intestine w/ water, then they make you hold it for a bit, then unplug the hose and all crap breaks loose and blasts outta your brown eye. Very entertaining.

 

[Demon-Xanth]

Think "Tubgirl".

 

[eakers]

Originally posted by: Dopefiend
This thread just got weird.

its a thread on enemas.

i had one at the hospital once.

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: Dopefiend
This thread just got weird.

its a thread on enemas.

i had one at the hospital once.

For an exam? Or were you sick?

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: Baked
So I watched it on Jackass or something once. They stick a garden hose up your bum and fill your large intestine w/ water, then they make you hold it for a bit, then unplug the hose and all crap breaks loose and blasts outta your brown eye. Very entertaining.

That's not an enema, that's a colonic. And very dangerous, possibly fatal. Kind of like the chinese water torture, but in reverse - your intestine could rupture and fill your internal cavity with water and feces, causing severe infection and loss of blood.

 

[kage69]

Enema in a bottle without the icky part. People have been known to take this stuff for a few days and then drop absurdly large duces...We're talking like 20lbs!!

/Old Lady from 'Oops I Crapped My Pants'


Wow! That's a lot of dung!





I can't get that scene from Dirty Sanchez outta my head now! You know, the one where Pritchard is in the tub, and he 'funnels' a pint...and then Joyce comes over and...and...



*runs out of thread clawing at eyes*

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: kage69
I can't get that scene from Dirty Sanchez outta my head now! You know, the one where Pritchard is in the tub, and he 'funnels' a pint...and then Joyce comes over and...and...

And what?

 

[Archman]

Hey here is something even funnier that I learned the hard way a few days ago.

I learned this:

Do not eat spinach cakes (spinach chopped up and make into tiny finger food cakes you bake) and portobello mushroom/soy patties (basically a veggie burger) for two meals in a row, unless you really, REALLY want a colon blow!

I was in the washroom about 6 times that day, and I think I dropped like 20 pounds :Q

heh... talk about too much fibre in your diet, YOWSER!!!

 

[Archman]

correction, should say made not 'make' for the spinach cake thingy in brackets

 

[Baked]

Originally posted by: SagaLore

Originally posted by: Baked
So I watched it on Jackass or something once. They stick a garden hose up your bum and fill your large intestine w/ water, then they make you hold it for a bit, then unplug the hose and all crap breaks loose and blasts outta your brown eye. Very entertaining.

That's not an enema, that's a colonic. And very dangerous, possibly fatal. Kind of like the chinese water torture, but in reverse - your intestine could rupture and fill your internal cavity with water and feces, causing severe infection and loss of blood.

OMFG, that's disgusting. Thanks for the heads up.