- Oct 11, 1999
- 25,195
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I work in 2 different ER's one is a large metro trauma ED, the other is a rural small ED. Just finished up a couple of night shifts in the rural one.
Story #1.
Female staff asks me to take over a patient with a penis laceration, doctor & I go in & talk to the patient & look at his dick.
21 year old Hispanic male says he was wtching a good movie on TV, ran to the bathroom and pulled his foreskin back too quickly & tore it.
We look at it & realize he was prob pleasuring himself just a bit too much & ripped his dick in the process, I asked him what really happened & he got real quiet. We shipped him to an ER that had urology on call to stitch up his dick...
Story # 2.
Cops come in with a 30ish year old caucasion female who they were in the process of booking for several outstnding traffic tickets and several burglary charges, she tells them she's pregnant & short of breath.
Vital signs stone cold normal, she has a belly, but just looks like an out of shape white trash nasty.
She refuses to provide a urine sample to confirm pregnancy, unknown to her we run her blood X2, to confirm she's not pregnant, and then have a sonogram to confirm.
I'd already clocked out, & was on my way out and the doctor grabs me asks me to witness his discussion with her, she just keeps saying she's carrying twins.
Me: "Maam, you've wasted our time, and lied to us, we sould have been taking care of numerous other patients instead of proving you were lying."
Her: "I'm going to talk to my lawyer."
Me: "Maam, seems more likely that these officers are going to take you to jail for long time and I don't think the judge is going to be terrible sympathetic after this stunt." (Officers nod and grin).
LOL people never cease to amaze me
Story #1.
Female staff asks me to take over a patient with a penis laceration, doctor & I go in & talk to the patient & look at his dick.
21 year old Hispanic male says he was wtching a good movie on TV, ran to the bathroom and pulled his foreskin back too quickly & tore it.
We look at it & realize he was prob pleasuring himself just a bit too much & ripped his dick in the process, I asked him what really happened & he got real quiet. We shipped him to an ER that had urology on call to stitch up his dick...
Story # 2.
Cops come in with a 30ish year old caucasion female who they were in the process of booking for several outstnding traffic tickets and several burglary charges, she tells them she's pregnant & short of breath.
Vital signs stone cold normal, she has a belly, but just looks like an out of shape white trash nasty.
She refuses to provide a urine sample to confirm pregnancy, unknown to her we run her blood X2, to confirm she's not pregnant, and then have a sonogram to confirm.
I'd already clocked out, & was on my way out and the doctor grabs me asks me to witness his discussion with her, she just keeps saying she's carrying twins.
Me: "Maam, you've wasted our time, and lied to us, we sould have been taking care of numerous other patients instead of proving you were lying."
Her: "I'm going to talk to my lawyer."
Me: "Maam, seems more likely that these officers are going to take you to jail for long time and I don't think the judge is going to be terrible sympathetic after this stunt." (Officers nod and grin).
LOL people never cease to amaze me
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