Elwood P. Dowd is indeed one of the great philosophers of our time. My favourite Dowdisms:
I've wrestled with reality for 35 years...and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.
You know, years ago, my mother used to say to me... "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh-so-smart or oh-so-pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.