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Elementary AnandTech Exposed!

W

WombatWoman

Diamond Member
RECENT DISCOVERIES IN ANANDTECHNICAL PHYSICS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Element: Dealium
  • Symbol: Dm
  • Atomic Weight: Same as Latinum
  • Discovered by: RossMAN
  • Properties: Also known as Ferengium. Most active when hot. A rich repository of Quarks; contains few electrons or protons, but a virtually unlimited number of coupons -- which are neutralized in the presence of Modium (see below.)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Element: Modium
  • Symbol: Md
  • Atomic Weight: Information Not Available
  • Discovered by: Information Not Available
  • Properties: Very mysterious, very reactive. Like its better-known cousin Imodium, it tends to be attracted to fecal particles, which it deactivates by surrounding them. They are then flushed from the known Universe through an interdimensional process known as Bipolar Atomic Neutralization (BAN.) Modium's functions are limited by the presence of Adminium, and both are dependent upon the rare and powerful element Shimpium.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Element: Nefium
  • Symbol: Nf
  • Atomic Weight: 200 (actually 201, but that's not generally known)
  • Discovered by: Adul Mlah
  • Properties: Highly active; replicates itself wildly in an effort to transform itself into gold, platinum, or diamond. Its half-life is 5,000 (at which point it is a "half Lifer.") It is extremely dense, and unlikely to form bonds. No protons, no electrons; Nefium is only morons.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Element: Trollium
  • Symbol: Tr
  • Atomic Weight: 666
  • Discovered by: Roger Ulfwald
  • Properties: Unstable, gaseous, noxious, potentially very destructive. One of the most effective agents for reducing income and annihilating trust. Functions best in semi-darkness, where it produces a vile odor as it turns gold into nothing.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Element: Zunium
  • Symbol: Zu
  • Atomic Weight: Infinite
  • Discovered by: Russ Harvey
  • Properties: All AnandTechium exists because of this immensely powerful element which, along with its equally powerful catalyst Shimpium, utilizes Cold Fusion in order to produce a wealth of fast-moving subatomic articles in our strange, charmed universe (NOTE: Universe functions much better with the addition of an Article Accelerator, only $30 per year.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~\/\/Ø/\/\ßÅT\/\/Ø/\/\ÅÑ~

[Edited to remove unintentionally hurtful material.]
 
The depth of the inside knowledge in this bit of satire is almost unfathomable. I think it breaks some sort of record for inside jokes per sentence. I am truly impressed. Thanks for the insight. 😎
 
(NOTE: Universe functions much better with the addition of an Article Accelerator, only $30 per year.)

lol 😀
 
A literal LOL! 😀

My favorite top three bits: Article Accelerator, coupons neutralized by Modium, Nefium replicating in an attempt to become gold, platinum or diamond.

And I thought it was common knowledge that no one can ever find out the source of Modium. I've seen threads attempting to root that out, but they seem to go into a black hole.


 


<< They are then flushed from the known Universe through an interdimensional process known as Bipolar Atomic Neutralization (BAN.) >>



😀
 


<<

<< They are then flushed from the known Universe through an interdimensional process known as Bipolar Atomic Neutralization (BAN.) >>



😀 >>

 
This is absolutely hilarious!!!! I love the Properties, which are "scientifically worded yet secretly sarcastic!" LMAO>😀 Nice job, WW!
 


<< Am I the only one who does not believe she really writes this stuff? :| >>



If she didn't, who did??
rolleye.gif


amish
 
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