Einstein Lied, Japanese Died!

QuantumPion

Diamond Member
Jun 27, 2005
6,010
1
76
When Einstein wrote the letter to FDR warning him about the danger of Hitler's nuclear program, FDR immediately started the Manhattan project to counter act. But we now know that Einstein was running on bad intelligence, and FDR KNEW IT!

We all know that Hitler never had any WMD's. And since we all know that after the fact, logically, FDR should have had the foresight to know it in advance. Therefore, since FDR knew in advance that Hitler did not have WMD's, what was his motivation for the Manhattan project?

Einstein lied about Hitler's WMD program, but FDR went along with it just so he could line the pockets of his nuke buddies with no-bid government contracts. Unfortunately, the war in Germany was won before the weapon was developed. FDR needed to use the bomb on civilian targets in order to justify all the spending, and to draw attention away from the fact that WE were the ones that sold WMD's to Hitler!!!!

So, even though the Japanese were about to surrender to us the next day, we dropped TWO nuclear bombs on their cities, murdering 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 civilians! Why? To cover up for MacArthur's oil buddies at Halliburton. You see, it was American Imperialism that started WW2. We withheld our oil from the peaceful loving Japanese to keep for our greedy selves.

When the Japanese tried to send a peace envoy to negotiate with us, we created an all-out air raid on ourselves to justify going to war with Japan. 12/7 was an inside job!!!!111 How else can you explain how our forces were so unprepared that day, how FDR already knew of the attack before it happened?

And why our battleships were parked in a neat row to make it easier to sink them!?!?11 The USS Arizona was CLEARLY self destructed internally. There is no way a tiny 500 lb bomb could possibly do enough damage to a 30,000 lb armored battleship.

Now, who fought as a pilot in WW2? BUSH SR! THe same Bush Sr, father of our current SELECTED president, that is oil profiteering today in Iraq! ITS ONE GIANT CONSPIRACY I TELL YOU.

---

Originally posted by: CallMeJoe
I see no future for you in comedy. Your sarcasm is weak, your metaphors limp and your syntax poor. Leave parody to those with full wits.

QFT, which is why this thread is locked.

Harvey
Senior AnandTech Moderator
 

piasabird

Lifer
Feb 6, 2002
17,168
60
91
Conspiracy Nutjobs?

You guys can find a conspiracy in anything and everything.

If you saw two squirrels in your front yard you would say it is a conspiracy and Bush was behind it and Haliburton was making money off of supplying nuts.
 

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 9, 1999
46,894
10,720
147
0/10

404 Teh hilarity not found.
 

CallMeJoe

Diamond Member
Jul 30, 2004
6,938
5
81
I see no future for you in comedy. Your sarcasm is weak, your metaphors limp and your syntax poor. Leave parody to those with full wits.
 

rpanic

Golden Member
Dec 1, 2006
1,896
7
81
Originally posted by: QuantumPion
TWO nuclear bombs on their cities, murdering 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 civilians! Why?.


With that many how did we win? Not even alien invasion would kill that many. You must be talking also about earths in other dimensions to. ;)
 

Arkaign

Lifer
Oct 27, 2006
20,736
1,379
126
Originally posted by: rpanic
Originally posted by: QuantumPion
TWO nuclear bombs on their cities, murdering 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 civilians! Why?.


With that many how did we win? Not even alien invasion would kill that many. You must be talking also about earths in other dimensions to. ;)

Yeah, Einstein would be shocked! There must have been a Stephen Hawking element to this conspiracy, so that we could wormhole through space-time to other dimensions to kill lots more Japanese living on other planets.
 

jonks

Lifer
Feb 7, 2005
13,918
20
81
Strangely, this has more credence than most 9/11 conspiracy theories
 

rpanic

Golden Member
Dec 1, 2006
1,896
7
81
Originally posted by: Arkaign
Originally posted by: rpanic
Originally posted by: QuantumPion
TWO nuclear bombs on their cities, murdering 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 civilians! Why?.


With that many how did we win? Not even alien invasion would kill that many. You must be talking also about earths in other dimensions to. ;)

Yeah, Einstein would be shocked! There must have been a Stephen Hawking element to this conspiracy, so that we could wormhole through space-time to other dimensions to kill lots more Japanese living on other planets.

You know what the more I think about it, if this is true maybe Hillary uses tiny wormholes to deliver water to her eyes to show emotion. This post delivers so many new possibilities.
 

Arkaign

Lifer
Oct 27, 2006
20,736
1,379
126
Originally posted by: sirjonk
Strangely, this has more credence than most 9/11 conspiracy theories

Heh.

I don't believe in an active 9/11 conspiracy (ie; US involvement in the preparation/planning/execution of the crimes), but I am on the fence as far as the 'let it happen' / 'wanted it to happen' scenario. A catalyzing event indeed.
 

Starbuck1975

Lifer
Jan 6, 2005
14,698
1,909
126
I think this post, although a parody, does demonstrate how absurd partisan bickering can get when it comes to military decisions.

How would Americans, and the world, perceive Bush had our mission in Iraq been a success...would the justifications of our going in matter at this point if we no longer had troops dying there...hard to say.

As always, hindsight is 20/20.
 

JD50

Lifer
Sep 4, 2005
11,925
2,908
136
Originally posted by: Starbuck1975
I think this post, although a parody, does demonstrate how absurd partisan bickering can get when it comes to military decisions.

How would Americans, and the world, perceive Bush had our mission in Iraq been a success...would the justifications of our going in matter at this point if we no longer had troops dying there...hard to say.

As always, hindsight is 20/20.

:thumbsup:
 

jackschmittusa

Diamond Member
Apr 16, 2003
5,972
1
0
How would Americans, and the world, perceive Bush had our mission in Iraq been a success

What kind of success could have had a benefit for for us, or the world for that matter.

Upsetting the balance of power in the region, allowing Iran by default to rise as the new "strongman" in the area, the U.S. being seen by many as an imperialistic power.....

Ah! The sweet smell of success.
 

alchemize

Lifer
Mar 24, 2000
11,486
0
0
3/10

:thumbsdown::|:thumbsdown: I WOULD HAVE given you another POINT if you had POSTED LIKE THIS:thumbsdown::|:thumbsdown:!!!
 

Lemon law

Lifer
Nov 6, 2005
20,984
3
0
The letter Einstein wrote to FDR was dated 8/2/1939 and at the time Germany was leading the world in nuclear research. Although Hitler was urged by some to pursue the atomic bomb, he never allocated any real resources.

Even with somewhat of a crash program, it took the US until after the Nazi surrender in May of 1945 to have the first bomb ready. So the Japanese got to be the lucky test subjects.

Einstein was smart but not psychic. And the timing of a not yet started war is not the stuff to make conspiracy theories out of regarding Einstein.

As for FDR, those conspiracy theories are all very old hat.
 
Sep 12, 2004
16,852
59
86
The OP isn't actually a parody. It's satire with a touch of sarcasm thrown in for good measure.

No doubt if it lampooned Bush instead it would have gotten a higher marks by the P&N faithful. However, since it takes conspiracy theorists to task, many of which frequent this forum, it will not receive high marks. They don't like to be ridiculed even when they do deserve it.

But keep in mind that our resident CTs are open minded and socially progressive. ;)
 

JEDIYoda

Lifer
Jul 13, 2005
33,986
3,321
126
Originally posted by: QuantumPion
When Einstein wrote the letter to FDR warning him about the danger of Hitler's nuclear program, FDR immediately started the Manhattan project to counter act. But we now know that Einstein was running on bad intelligence, and FDR KNEW IT!

We all know that Hitler never had any WMD's. And since we all know that after the fact, logically, FDR should have had the foresight to know it in advance. Therefore, since FDR knew in advance that Hitler did not have WMD's, what was his motivation for the Manhattan project?

Einstein lied about Hitler's WMD program, but FDR went along with it just so he could line the pockets of his nuke buddies with no-bid government contracts. Unfortunately, the war in Germany was won before the weapon was developed. FDR needed to use the bomb on civilian targets in order to justify all the spending, and to draw attention away from the fact that WE were the ones that sold WMD's to Hitler!!!!

So, even though the Japanese were about to surrender to us the next day, we dropped TWO nuclear bombs on their cities, murdering 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 civilians! Why? To cover up for MacArthur's oil buddies at Halliburton. You see, it was American Imperialism that started WW2. We withheld our oil from the peaceful loving Japanese to keep for our greedy selves.

When the Japanese tried to send a peace envoy to negotiate with us, we created an all-out air raid on ourselves to justify going to war with Japan. 12/7 was an inside job!!!!111 How else can you explain how our forces were so unprepared that day, how FDR already knew of the attack before it happened?

And why our battleships were parked in a neat row to make it easier to sink them!?!?11 The USS Arizona was CLEARLY self destructed internally. There is no way a tiny 500 lb bomb could possibly do enough damage to a 30,000 lb armored battleship.
Now, who fought as a pilot in WW2? BUSH SR! THe same Bush Sr, father of our current SELECTED president, that is oil profiteering today in Iraq! ITS ONE GIANT CONSPIRACY I TELL YOU.

dude.....the 9/11 nutjobs have nothing on you!!
You are in a league all by yourself!@!!
 

LtPage1

Diamond Member
Jan 15, 2004
6,311
2
0
Einstein didn't write the letter- Szilard and Fermi did. He only signed off on it and supported their plea.

Everything else is clearly made up and unfunny, but I thought I'd set the record straight on that one.
 

rudder

Lifer
Nov 9, 2000
19,441
86
91
How soon do you think it will be until this thread is picked up by google, a conspiracy theorist comes along and cuts & pastes, makes a website, then one of his loyal readers posts the conspiracy theory in off-topic, and it gets debated for 3 days before the mods finally lock it because of name calling.

And yes, that is an incredibly long run on sentence.
 

Mxylplyx

Diamond Member
Mar 21, 2007
4,197
101
106
Originally posted by: jackschmittusa
How would Americans, and the world, perceive Bush had our mission in Iraq been a success

What kind of success could have had a benefit for for us, or the world for that matter.

Upsetting the balance of power in the region, allowing Iran by default to rise as the new "strongman" in the area, the U.S. being seen by many as an imperialistic power.....

Ah! The sweet smell of success.

You seem to have missed the point. You are spelling out the consequences of our relative failure in Iraq.
 

Skitzer

Diamond Member
Mar 20, 2000
4,414
3
81
The real question is ...... had Hitler developed a nuclear weapon would he have used it?

If so .........

If Iran developes a nuclear weapon will they use it?
They are just as detached from reality as Hitler was aren't they?