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Edit: GONE - not looking back: Have you ever bought a new car and hated it...

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Just swap the seats, it doesn't need to be absurdly expensive. The most comfortable seats I've encountered in recent cars have been in a Lexus, but YMMV.
 
Don't be so hard on yourself.

If the car does not fit you, get rid of it. Both you and your wife will be much happier.

Life would be boring if there were no bumps. I've had plenty of bumps in my life. Learning from them and moving on is the best way to handle them. Dwelling on them only distracts you from getting ahead.
 
I bought a new Ford Freestyle, I think 2006. Hated driving an automatic, hated the size. We had our second child and thought we needed the size and figured we'd deal with the automatic. Sold it after about a year, lost $14k in depreciation. Bought something smaller and sportier - an S4 Avant with a manual. Now that was a nice "family" car!
 
PricklyPete said:
Don't be so hard on yourself.

If the car does not fit you, get rid of it. Both you and your wife will be much happier.

Life would be boring if there were no bumps. I've had plenty of bumps in my life. Learning from them and moving on is the best way to handle them. Dwelling on them only distracts you from getting ahead.
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:thumbsup: This x10
 
Yuriman said:
Just swap the seats, it doesn't need to be absurdly expensive. The most comfortable seats I've encountered in recent cars have been in a Lexus, but YMMV.
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The new Murano has the most comfortable seats I've felt in a while. Nissan is using these "zero gravity seats" in several models, but the Murano was the first one I tried that had them. I only test drove it, so not sure if they hold up for long drives, but I'm a believer in the design that went into them.

If the infotainment system Nissan has wasn't so god awful I'd probably be driving that instead of the Highlander.
 
I purchased a 2015 Honda Fit new after a test drive. I loved the car in every way except acceleration. I got the manual tranny model and it just felt like the car was underpowered. I don't think I would have had the problem with the automatic. I ran into a situation where someone was coming behind me and I could not get out of the way. I ended up trading it in on a 2014 Honda Accord Sport (also manual). Got a good price on the Accord, but lost about $3000 in the process.
 
If you want a car that can do sporty better than your 328 yet provide a better and compliant ride, and can get over the predator grille, please drive the IS350 F-Sport. I picked it over the current gen 328i, and previous gen E90 335.

If you want a real soft roader, the ES350 is definitely a great car. but You can probably even go cheaper and get the same experience w/ an Acura TLX or Accord V6 IMO.
 
Go out and try on a 2013-2016 CPO Lincoln MKS EcoBoost to see what you think. More room and power than the Lexus ES with a very comfortable ride. People are bypassing them because they don't measure up to the Mercs, Audis, or BMW 730is. But, you can pick up a really nice quality built hot-rod luxmobile that puts out 365hp and 350 ftlb of torque on a flat curve for 40-60% of the original sticker price. Slap on a Ford extended warranty to 110K miles and you'll have no worries. I have a 2012 3.7 AWD I bought CPO and love it, I just wish I would have held out for the 2013 or later version with the improvements and the 3.5 EcoBoost. The 2017 MKZ with a 3,0 twin turbo at 400hp and 400 ftlb of torque would also be a contender.
 
Yes. I traded in a 2013 Ford Fiesta that I bought new just 10 months after I bought it. Traded it in for a KIA Forte and took a pretty big loss.

The transmission was a joke and would constantly slip gears, yet Ford didn't acknowledge it. Just kept taking it in for service and giving it back to me. 2 years after I got rid of it Ford finally acknowledged the problem...
 
Engineer said:
I'm not sure what to make of what you're saying. Please clarify....
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You've never got the "fine" or "do what you want" from your wife when clearly she means the opposite?

Now, the car. Driving it more than a few miles, I rediscovered some of the good things about the car....but I have finally nailed down what is causing me to dislike things and nitpick things that I would otherwise not care about......it's the damn seats. 10-15 minute trip to work, no problem. Go on a little 'trip' and I'm hurting so bad in my back before I get done that it takes an hour to recover.
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Might just be finding the right seating position.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnLKdubxRcI

My wife uses a lumbar pillow that helps her with back issues.
 
Yuriman said:
Just swap the seats, it doesn't need to be absurdly expensive. The most comfortable seats I've encountered in recent cars have been in a Lexus, but YMMV.
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This. Both sparco and recaro make some nice replacement touring seats. If you have the black interior they won't really look out of place. Though the leather ones are pretty spendy....
 
OP, IMO unless you have the $$$ comfort seats option (was $1k option), BMWs ride too harshly (sport suspension & sport seats here) for road trips. Mine is 8 years old now and while I'm excited to take it on trips, I get there really fatigued. These cars are meant to be driven spiritedly on local roads/highways, not meant as a daily comfy ride to work or long trips. If you wanted that, you should go for a Lexus and ride on a cloud.
 
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rh71 said:
OP, IMO unless you have the $$$ comfort seats option (was $1k option), BMWs ride too harshly (sport suspension & sport seats here) for road trips. Mine is 8 years old now and while I'm excited to take it on trips, I get there really fatigued. These cars are meant to be driven spiritedly on local roads/highways, not meant as a daily comfy ride to work or long trips. If you wanted that, you should go for a Lexus and ride on a cloud.
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Totally disagree. The sport seats in the old BMW I had were some of the most comfortable I have ever experienced. Multi hour trips were a breeze.
 
sontakke said:
And he is married for more than twenty years! How is that even possible???
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Something flying over my head on an Internet forum has no bearing on my relationship with my wife. I couldn't be happier than I am being married to this wonderful woman. I also understand full well that she is telling me what I want to hear, not what she really thinks, otherwise, I would have took the bath already on the car and it would be gone.

As for the upholstery solution, I'm not looking for the most complicated, I'm looking at all angles. It would be far more than the payment to get that done (payments are relatively low because of deal and down payment) and I have no idea if it would void the warranty on any or all parts of the car (BMW seems to be very picky if you put anything not original into your car when it comes to warranty). You might say, who cares about warranty if you don't like it? Keeping it without warranty is just as bad as getting rid of it and eating money.

For now, I've ordered a seat cushion to raise my lower back up to a better position in the seat. I did this on an office chair years ago. Before the cushion, I couldn't sit in the chair because the lumbar support destroyed my back. I kept that chair until it fell apart after the cushion (and that includes getting it welded at the shop twice when the seat bracket broke from the shock mount).

monkeydelmagico said:
Totally disagree. The sport seats in the old BMW I had were some of the most comfortable I have ever experienced. Multi hour trips were a breeze.
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I've read about the sports seats in the F30 series and seems that 'most' people feel they are more comfortable. However, unless heavy mods are made, it appears that you can't simply swap seats. The harness, programming and rails are different. Browsing around, found one mention of a dealer that would do it all but the cost was $13,000. Haven't looked at third party seats much but the few that I did look at were quite expensive ($3,000) and not sure what's involved in the installation or if the warranty would be voided.
 
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Engineer said:
Haven't looked at third party seats much but the few that I did look at were quite expensive ($3,000) and not sure what's involved in the installation or if the warranty would be voided.
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I've put in racing seats before. Its generally not super complex. They'll sell an adapter rail for your car and its typically 4ish bolts per seat and unclipping the electrical. The big potential issue with more modern cars is airbags in the seats. It might need something to fool the ECU into thinking they exist or you'll get error messages all the time.
 
I wouldn't recommend putting new seats in a brand new car, especially since most newer cars have air bags in the seats...

Trade that sucker in and never look back 🙂
 
Get rid of the car; seriously. Money? Who cares? The only reason money exists is to use as a tool to acquire happiness. That car isn't making you happy, and it's only gonna make you less happy going forward. Trying to fix a core engineering issue by wasting money buying cushions and other nonsense will only serve to lose more money, while not fixing the real problem.

Someone else would love to have that car. Let them have it, and get something you enjoy.
 
you shouldn't have gotten an xdrive. all xdrive models do not have a sport suspension unless it has the adaptive suspension. even m-sport and sport trim models, still have a non adaptive suspension.

i've had the non sport suspension in loaner cars and its night and day.

also for the seats issue do you have the normal seats or the sport seats (that come with sport or m-sport trim). on a long drive, i've gotten to this point where i can't buy a car that doesnt have the thigh extenders. i guess it can depend on your body type but i have the sport seats in mine and they fit great (i'm pretty skinny though).

regardless, if you don't like the car and you can afford to get one you really want, i'd just eat the loss and get something else. as much as it sucks, if you use your car enough its going to suck even more living with it for 5 years +
 
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hans007 said:
regardless, if you don't like the car and you can afford to get one you really want, i'd just eat the loss and get something else. as much as it sucks, if you use your car enough its going to suck even more living with it for 5 years +
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I hate losing money, more than most people....it usually eats my soul to even think about it but today, it didn't. It's done....gone....started over after a seven hour stay at the Lexus dealership (5 hours of negotiating on two different cars and 2 hours of driving - something that I couldn't do in the BMW without nearly needing medical attention for my back). 2016 ES350. I'm so happy at the difference in comfort that I don't care about the money. Just time to start over and know what to look for the next time, especially a LONG test drive in various traffic. Lesson learned and move on. Time to quite staying up nights worrying about stupid shit like this and just move on, as life it really too short.

Thanks to those in this thread that made me realize that. I think I should start using that more in my life in general.

On a side note, I don't think it's normal for my back should hurt as much as it did on the BMW so I'm thinking about having it checked out. Losing weight (about 40 pounds) would be very helpful too.
 
Engineer said:
On a side note, I don't think it's normal for my back should hurt as much as it did on the BMW so I'm thinking about having it checked out. Losing weight (about 40 pounds) would be very helpful too.
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I've been driving a malibu lately, and the seats make my back hurt if I'm in it more than .5 hours. I do have a bad back, but this is the first car that's really bothered it when it's otherwise acceptable(my back's never perfect).

Congratulations on the new ride. You're a little closer to nirvana :^)
 
Congrats man. Like you said, life is too short to suffer with a mistake. Cut your losses and move on.

The ES350 is cavernous inside too, especially compared to a 3 series BMW. I think the ES is a handsome car, probably one of the better looking in the Lexus lineup, and you have the auto close trunk which I thought was kind of gimmicky but it is actually quite useful.
 
Glad to hear you made the right choice for yourself. The stress of lost money now is likely less over time than the constant back pain that will stay with you over the life of the car. Those ES350s have great looking interiors. One issue I have with BMW are the spartan interiors.
 
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