edit: comments made by someone, but arrtibuted to Andy Rooney

[Genesys]

I recieved this in an e-mail today, and thought i should share it with the people whome i love to argue with the most....besides, i agree with just about everything said here

edit: these comments were not made by Andy Rooney, just someone who stole his name, but that doesnt make the statements any less true.



Tell it like it is.


A copy of this should be distributed to everyone in the country!!!

Andy Rooney said on 60 minutes a few weeks back:

I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big campfires.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some
governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to
crack addicts for squirting out babies.


Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You
can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to
ban you from driving to the ball game.


I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why
there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU
LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?


I think that if you feel homosxuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it
is an opinion. I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of
anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly
discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet
Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to
have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine,
White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what
happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door. I have the right
"NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or
tick me off. When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in
cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial
profiling, it is the Law of Probability.


I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of it. If I
received sex from one of my subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a
private matter or my personal business. I would be "FIRED" immediately!



I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of
cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a
matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have
to speak English! My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you
can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect
ours. I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry
self if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't
understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.


I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation
recount votes when needed. I know what the definition of lying is.


I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are
qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans
or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket
store, or any other business. We did not go to the aid of certain
foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms,
so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our
constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.


I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know pro wrestling is
fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from
watching them. I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative with a
cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.


I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and
continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next
operating system that's better, and put your name on the building. Ask
your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does
take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds
when necessary, and say "NO!"


"I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please
don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home
until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly
infected mouth as you serve me french fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and
not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be
"African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around
saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great,
great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America
and nowhere else.

And if you don't like my point of view, tough.

 

[MovingTarget]

Now there's someone I could vote for. I can dream, can't I? But seriously, He has a very good point in this peice. Heck, I agree with most all of this too. Political correctness, especially in the examples he gave here, has run amok in this country. Enough is enough.

 

[Vic]

False

 

[Bowfinger]

Originally posted by: Vic
False

Yep, pretty obvious if you read it. They did a decent job imitating his style, but missed on substance and ideology.

 

[kylebisme]

i had to do some digging on this one because i was sure that i knew Andy Rooney well enough to know that he could never say some of the bigotous tripe in that monologue. i found a full response to it:

Theft of name for vicious e-mail more hurtful
than loss of suitcase or $20



By Andy Rooney
Syndicated columnist

Two years ago, someone broke my car window, took some things from the glove compart_ment and a suitcase I had left on the backseat.

Twenty years ago, I had a motorbike stolen from my garage. In the Army, at Fort Bragg, someone went through my footlocker and took $20 I had saved for the day I could get a 24-hour pass. These were the only brushes w crime Id had in my life until recently.

Now, several thieves have taken something of great value from me - my name.

More than a year ago, people started sending me copies of an e-mail that was appearing on computers all over the country. It was a list of about 20 comments, each one or two sentences long, under my byline. The piece was titled, ?In Praise of Older Women - By Andy Rooney? It was sappy and obviously nothing I might have written, but harmless. While I didn?t like the idea of someone using my name as his own, I didn?t try to do anything about it.

Several months after I first saw the e-mail, a man named Frank Kaiser wrote asking why I had put my name on something he had written in 2000 for his syndicated column called Suddenly Senior I called Frank immediately and he accepted the fact that someone else had taken what he wrote and put my name on it.

There have been two other instances of someone distributing a list of opinions under my name. What would make someone write down a-series of personal observations and distribute them using my name as the author? It mystifies me.

About a year ago, I became aware of a more serious theft of my name and it is so hurtful to my reputation that it calls for legal action against the thief. Hundreds of people have written asking if I really wrote the 20 detestable remarks made under my name that have had such wide circulation on the Internet.

The list of remarks begins: ?I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big campfires."

It continues: ?I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting babies.?

?Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer."

?I have the right NOT to be tolerant of others because they are weird, different or tick me off.?

Some of the remarks, which I will not repeat here, are viciously racist and the spirit of the whole thing is nasty, mean and totally inconsistent with my philosophy of life. It is apparent that the list of comments has been read by hundreds of thousands of Americans, many of whom must believe that it accurately represents opinions of mine that I don?t dare express in my column or on television. It is seriously damaging to my reputation.

The only good thing to come out of this incident is the dozens of letters I?ve received from people saying they know me well enough to know I didn?t write the comments. There must be many more, however, who are ready to believe I did write them.

I have tracked the e-mail back to an address in Tucson and a Web site called ?CelebrityHypocrites.com,? which is owned by a man named Pave Mason. Mr. Mason lists as his address, ?405 East Wetmore Road, No. 117 PMB 520, Tucson Arizona 85705.?

I was in Tucson recently and foolishly went to that address thinking it might be Mason's home or business. I?d like to know more about Mason, but the address was a commercial mailbox business and I didn?t wait around for him to show up so I could confront him. If it is Dave Mason who has stolen my name, I demand that he put out a retraction that reaches as many people as his fraudulent e-mail did.

Andy Rooney is a syndicated columnist and commentator on ?60 Minutes.?

http://www.suddenlysenior.com/Andyrooneyinpraiseofcolumn.html

 

[Gonad the Barbarian]

I have no respect for the man if he thinks

?Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer."

is a detestable remark.

 

[Gaard]

Originally posted by: Gonad the Barbarian
I have no respect for the man if he thinks

?Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer."

is a detestable remark.

Which man?

 

[Genesys]

Originally posted by: Gonad the Barbarian
I have no respect for the man if he thinks

?Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer."

is a detestable remark.

how so? you'll have to explain your remark.

 

[kylebisme]

i think he is being sarcastic. that comment and a few others are respectable, but some of the stuff in there is just awful.

 

[MovingTarget]

Originally posted by: Genesys

Originally posted by: Gonad the Barbarian
I have no respect for the man if he thinks

?Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer."

is a detestable remark.

how so? you'll have to explain your remark.

Yeah, please do. <readies flamesuit and popcorn> personal example: I own a gun. I have never used it against anyone and would never do so unless I were in mortal danger. The majority of gun owners are like me in this regard (including many here on AT) and they do know how to responsibly handle a firearm. Am I a killer or even a danger to society? I think not. <checks sarcasm detector> I hope that was a sarcastic remark there, but its hard to tell.

 

[Genesys]

Originally posted by: TheSnowman
i think he is being sarcastic. that comment and a few others are respectable, but some of the stuff in there is just awful.

perhaps its only awful because its so true?

 

[kylebisme]

No it is awful because it is just like Mr Rooney said:

Some of the remarks, which I will not repeat here, are viciously racist and the spirit of the whole thing is nasty, mean and totally inconsistent with my philosophy of life.

 

[DragonMasterAlex]

Originally posted by: Gonad the Barbarian
I have no respect for the man if he thinks

?Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer."

is a detestable remark.

Why is that detestable? It's TRUE I'm not a gun guy (never liked the things; noisy and kinda painful to use, and make it too easy to kill, IMHO.) but I do realize that the old adage that "guns don't kill people, PEOPLE do." is true. Of its' own nature, a gun is nothing but a tool, and as with any tool you can use it for the right purpose or the wrong purpose, but the use is ultimately the responsibility of the USER, not the tool. You won't ever see a wrench being banned for being used as a club to beat someone's brains out, and you shouldn't.

Anyway, that said, there are a few detestable remarks, but not many, and I think that a lot of the claims of "racism" is nothing more than some of you guys being reactionaries, but then...that happens here all the time

Jason