• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

EDIT 11/09/04: How did you hold hands with a girl? (includes breakdown on date costs)

Page 10 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.
Status
Not open for further replies.
Originally posted by: Doboji
My advice... don't be afraid to be nervous... I've been with my girl for 3 months now, and I still feel the first date jitters every time I see her. Fact is... if she likes you... she likes you. It's useless to try pretending to be not-nervous, or over-confident. Just be who you are... even if thats a nervous wreck. She's been out with you this many times, she likes you, OR she's a greedy bizitch(which isn't impossible).

So go ahead be nervous... HELL tell her she makes you jittery, she'll probably like that. And don't listen to these fools who say be a rough neck, hard-to-get type. That would be faking... and it's a way to get laid, not to end up with someone you really like.

If she's the type of girl looking for the rough guy, and you fake it... you can either never show your true self, which will eventually build resentment and kill the relationship. OR you can reveal your true self, and she will possibly get bored, and go off in search of someone else more challenging.

And ABOVE ALL ELSE.... DONOT FEEL REGRET AND APOLOGIZE.... whatever you did was fine if she agrees to see you again. Always remember... the Conclusion is.... DONT JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS.

-Max
Click to expand...

I agree. a lot of times when you're honest like that, girls find it very flattering and.... come to think of it, that's usually when they... i'll be back later...
 
So, what's the update here? I just jumped in a started read this thread and now I'm curious.

I agree with many of the people here who promote just being natural, letting things happen, and showing some confidence. You should listen to them. You'd be amazed how much better you see things when looking back (Hindsight being 20/20, as they say)

I was pretty shy when I was younger, and still kinda am. But now that I'm married and "off the market," so to speak, I think I'd be a great dater. LOL! You start to realize that youth is too short to wait around asking girls to hold hands. I'm not advocating being an overbearing prick who can't take 'No' for an aswer, but you have to be a little more aggressive.

1) Holding hands isn't that big of a deal, especially when you're over 16. I hold hands with all kinds of women, inclusing my sis-in-laws and my best (girl) friend. It's perfectly natural and should be acceptable. Now, when you're dating, it means a little more. I always found the best way was to kinda 'force' it to happen naturally. 🙂 You know, do something like look at your watch and say "Uh, oh, we better hurry or we'll miss the movie." Then just grab her hand and run to the ticket window or whatever. When you stop, don't let go, but relax your hand and give her the opportunity to let go if she wants to. If she does, no biggie. If she keeps holding on, BAM, you're in! 😉

2) Show a little confidence. Girls like that. Guys like that in girls, too. Just not too much. You don't want to come off as overbearing or egotistic. One the worse things I always did when dating was drive and and say "What do you want to do?" "I dunno, what do you want to do." AGHH! It's nice to ask if she has a preference, but if not, then *tell* her what you are going to do. "In that case, I'm gonna take you to XX and then we'll go do XX, if you're up to it." You have to be nice, but being overly nice is almost as bad as being rude. Don't bug her with little questions. "Do you want to listen to the Radio? What station? Is this song OK? Are you cold? Can i hold your hand?" BLEH! Show some testicular fortitude.. but in a sensitive, kind way. 🙂

Anyway, keep us updated.
 
Yeah some women like it when you're a little nervous, and can admit it. Then they know you're not some fake big headed pig. Just play it cool and show a little confidence. Let her know you're having fun and/or enjoy being with her.

I'm recently back on the market. Where are all the women I was finding when I wasn't available? Funny how that works.
As cKGunslinger said, the "I don't care. What do you want to do?" thing gets old. What are some good date ideas?
 
Back in the day, I went through a phase where I was cocky and arrogant, which a lot of women like, but those are always the easy women who will sex you up one weekend and then be sexing up someone else the next weekend.

Eventually I got tired of those pointless relationships and stayed away from girls for a year. Then I met this cute sweet girl. I thought she was kinda cool so I asked her, but MAN I was more nervous with her than I had EVER been. I was bumbling and akward, but I still forced myself to tell her how much I cared about her. I was obviously scared to death and just blurted stuff out at first, but she didn't care, just as long as I was honest and shared my feelings.

I think if you aren't nervous and awkard, then it is probably because you don't care what she thinks of you, at least that is how I was. I think girls expect that, too.

So anyway, it's like everyone else says, be yourself, if she likes than she likes ya, if she doesn't then there isn't really any faking or smoothness that is going to change that.

Oh and by the way, the girl is now my wife and last month we celebrated our 1 year anniversary!

One final suggestion, don't make your dates so *busy*. Try just a picnic and a walk in a park. That gives you more time to talk to each other and get to know each other.
 
sup man..i'm from oc too....

you never ask a girl a question..like the one you did....JUST DO IT!!!!
that will make her so much hotter for you...


you seem like u act too nice too...toughen up a tad ok....that will
make her more HOT for u
 
Originally posted by: cucumber
Originally posted by: WayneTeK
Originally posted by: rezinn
What a dork.
Click to expand...

hye now.. you can't blame a guy for being a recluse for most of his life due to strict parents, a job, school, and community service. I've been a busy guy. I'm just getting out of my shell now, at the late age of 22.
Click to expand...



Holy crap! I was thinking you were around 12 or 13 ish. This girl was absolutely turned waaay off then. In your twenties you should be having sex, not trying to hold hands. I'm not trying to bash you, but I'm sure the girl would have been disgusted by this. This is ok when you're a kid, but at this age the girl expects you to have some balls.

The advice I (and others ) posted still stands though. You absolutely have to make an effort at pretending to be bold and sure of yourself. If all else fails drink.
Click to expand...

I would give anything to have not had sex before marriage. I did at least realize the error of such ways and abstain from it for a year before I met my wife, and did not have sex with my wife until she was, well, my after (not till the honeymoon that is). The kind of thinking in this post is exactly what is wrong with relationships these days, and sounds more like this guy is basing is advice on television rather than real life experience.

"Have some balls" and be yourself, that is what girls want. I managed to nab the only girl I have been head of heels in love with and I would not have gotten her if I "pretended" to be bold.

Frankly, WayneTek, I admire and respect guys like you WAY more than guys like cucumber. Keep up the good work :thumbsup: Even if this girl isn't the one, you stay they way you are and you will get a way better girl than any of those other guys ever will.

EDIT: Hey where are the pics? My admiration is waning.
 
Heh... this thread is funny... even for a massive dork like me. *sigh* I miss having enough time for a social life.
I always just think... what's the worst that could happen? Whatever it is, it's not so bad... unless it involves you bleeding your own blood.
 
Originally posted by: Yossarian
you're a smooth one!

cut to 2 months from now... both in bed naked.

"Janet... (short pause cause my mind blanked).. Umm, i'm gonna try something now, but if you don't like it, let me know." ~ ME

"Uh ok..." ~ Her

"Stick out your butt." ~ ME
Click to expand...

lol i'm dying at this. oh brother...lol
 
i....
uh...
<speechless>

i don't want to read the responses. i can't. this is just.... omfg. wow. just wow. wow wow wow. i can't deal with the op. i just can't.


you went on THREE dates with a girl and you could BARELY bring yourself to HOLD HER HAND?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

oh, i am SOOOOO glad i took a few days off atot. looks like i need a longer vacation.

just wow.
 
I usually spend around $100 every date for any girl whether I like her or not. It's an odd thing, but I just feel it's common courtesy.
 
Originally posted by: Eli
These aren't good signs. 😉

Anything that is forced is usually awkaward....
Click to expand...

I agree... you have to work more like a smooth operator, rather than force things.
 
Originally posted by: Ninjja
Originally posted by: Yossarian
you're a smooth one!

cut to 2 months from now... both in bed naked.

"Janet... (short pause cause my mind blanked).. Umm, i'm gonna try something now, but if you don't like it, let me know." ~ ME

"Uh ok..." ~ Her

"Stick out your butt." ~ ME
Click to expand...

lol i'm dying at this. oh brother...lol
Click to expand...


he might have followed through with this :laugh:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top