Earwig In My Peach

[Auric]

So, in the customary fashion I washed a promisingly ripe peach under the faucet and sliced it around each axis to separate it into quarters for ease of consumption. The flesh held to the pit but I quickly wrastled one segment free and stuffed it down my greedy gullet. Delicious. Meanwhile, I proceeded to separate the remainder but as is often the case the pit actually came apart and it was then -to my shock and horror, that I spied a live earwig secreted inside! Aaaagh! :Q

Reflexively, I shook it into the sink disposal unit with some sassifaction, knowing the detestable creature would be devoured by the mechanical maw as though 'twere the Great Pit of Carkoon itself. Or did I? Because then, still reeling, I notice out of the corner of my eye an earwig crawling on the floor beneath me! Was it the same one or had there been two?! I quickly scooped it up in paper tower and decisively smushed it making sure it would not escape again. Revolted, the rest of the peach followed it into the trash. :disgust:

 

[Jodell88]

7/10

you're good at telling stories but NuclearNed is better

 

[spidey07]

GAH!

Just the thought of those things crawling into my ear and taking up shop on my brain horrifies me.

 

[Nitemare]

not to mention the earwig eggsac you swallowed that is hatching and will be eating their way out soon.

 

[Auric]

Originally posted by: Jodell88
7/10

you're good at telling stories but NuclearNed is better

I would not presume to contend with the great NuclearNed and really just needed to share/vent but figgered a li'l flair, at least, was warranted.

Originally posted by: spidey07
GAH!

Just the thought of those things crawling into my ear and taking up shop on my brain horrifies me.

That is their single-minded objective too. Like the creature from The Hidden, except they enter through the ear rather than the mouth.

Originally posted by: Nitemare
not to mention the earwig eggsac you swallowed that is hatching and will be eating their way out soon.

Oh sweet babby Christ in an Ergo, no! Nooo! The horror has only just begun!

The more I think about it, the more I am convinced there were actually two of the li'l buggers with one being noticeably larger. To wit, they were indeed nesting. Is that plausible? The queer thing is that the integrity of the peach did not appear violated -even a nub of the stem was still in place. Now I have taken to paring them as I have long done with apples (so as to avoid eating pesticide/wax/bruised bits), in the hope of better revealing any befoulment by these brutes.

 

[Canai]

Better than taking a couple good chomps out of an apple only to see half of a still-twitching worm flop out of a hole.

 

[dirtylimey]

Just want to add that 409 is brutally efficient at ruining an earwigs day.

409 + Earwig = Earwig fail

 

[Fritzo]

The title of this thread is going to be the name of my next band.

 

[eplebnista]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
The title of this thread is going to be the name of my next band.

rofl :beer:

 

[marvdmartian]

Originally posted by: Canai
Better than taking a couple good chomps out of an apple only to see half of a still-twitching worm flop out of a hole.

Yep! You know what's worse than taking a bite of your apple, and finding a worm inside???

Taking a bite, and finding half a worm!!! :shocked:

 

[Eeezee]

Luckily for you, earwigs are generally harmless. If one did attempt to get to your brain for some reason, you'd fucking feel it and go to the hospital. But they don't have any reason to do that, since they generally eat fruit and insects anyway.

Still, what a horrifying experience :Q

 

[darkswordsman17]

:thumbsup: for the showmanship. Kinda disgusting.

I love peaches, but for some reason I haven't been feeling like them this year. I bought a couple of bags and think I only ate one out about 5 or 6 and the rest went to waste.

Made me think of the Makinaw peach episode of Seinfeld.

 

[Inspector Jihad]

Eww Earwigs

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

You dismembered the earwigs and still threw the fruit away? What about the other peaches or fruit you still have? Better send them to me to be 'inspected.'

 

[Auric]

I only threw away the infested one... or the known infested one. Good thing they were refrigerated as it must have slowed 'em down. The experience was revolting and put me off the rest of the peaches but only for a couple days (made do with cherries and grapes in the meantime). Fruit is the food of the gods, afterall.

 

[wwswimming]

i found a huge worm in an ear of corn last week. took it to the cash register
and asked if i could have it for free. they said yes. Mmmm good !

 

[dennilfloss]

Originally posted by: spidey07
GAH!

Just the thought of those things crawling into my ear and taking up shop on my brain horrifies me.

It was Madeline Kahn. She put things in our ears.

 

[TheKub]

np

 

[wwswimming]

Question

what would DHS do if they found a Carrion Beetle in your Carry-on Luggage ?

Answer

send you to Guantanamo for making lame jokes on AT.

 

[CorCentral]

What, no pics?
Who doesn't have some sort of camera these days?

 

[Juddog]

Originally posted by: wwswimming
Question

what would DHS do if they found a Carrion Beetle in your Carry-on Luggage ?

Answer

send you to Guantanamo for making lame jokes on AT.

 

[buck]

Originally posted by: CorCentral
What, no pics?
Who doesn't have some sort of camera these days?

:thumbsup:

 

[KeithTalent]

:music:
Well I'm not sayin' that you're gonna die
I just might be hintin' that you may puke a lot
And could ya' pay me that money ya' owe me
Ya' know I really hate to put you on the spot
'Cause

You got an earwig
It's crawling towards your brain
And you got an earwig
The fashionable pain
:music:

KT

 

[CorCentral]

For those out there that don't know what an Earwig looks like.
WIKI

I fed a small one of these to my black widow last week.

 

[Auric]

Originally posted by: CorCentral
For those out there that don't know what an Earwig looks like.
WIKI

...and if you're wondering what an earwig lounge chair looks like (and who wouldn't? ).