To me 5 years is a while.
Give her the separation she needs.
For the time being move on with your life. You've said you want her back.
Now she has to figure out if she wants you back. If she does and you guys get
back together remember how and what caused you to mess up. Then dont
mess up
.
LANMAN
Platinum Member
- Oct 10, 1999
- 2,901
- 134
- 106
Ditto... it's not worth it dude. Next you'll be saying.. " I married her and you wouldn't believe all the great women in this world. "
Once you say "I Do" they all come out of the wood work. Been there, done that. Take my word for it!!!
I dated someone for 6 years and on and off she would break up. It just pi$$ed me off to no end, so I finally told her it wouldn't happen again. Three years later I met the woman of my dreams and we're still married after 13 years.
It's your choice.
--LANMAN
- Apr 11, 2001
- 6,224
- 686
- 136
Originally posted by: Storm
To me 5 years is a while.
Give her the separation she needs.
For the time being move on with your life. You've said you want her back.
Now she has to figure out if she wants you back. If she does and you guys get
back together remember how and what caused you to mess up. Then dont
mess up
To me five years is a while too... so much so that I can't remember being without her so much.
after 2 years ... we're done ...
And I'm realizing how much better off I am, because she was a real piece of shite when you come down to it ...
Sorry though that you're in pain ... I know what it's like ... and once you get out there and stay busy, get some cute gal to talk to you for a while ... it'll feel better
And I'm realizing how much better off I am, because she was a real piece of shite when you come down to it ...
Sorry though that you're in pain ... I know what it's like ... and once you get out there and stay busy, get some cute gal to talk to you for a while ... it'll feel better
Sorry to hear it man. I got the breakup via US Postal mail.... It's so cliche, but then again you never know how good you had it until the person you love is gone. Then you realize all of the stupid little things that you did and start to really blame yourself for everything. Best of luck to you with everything, but give her her space right now...
It's so cliche, but then again you never know how good you had it until the person you love is gone. Then you realize all of the stupid little things that you did and start to really blame yourself for everything. Best of luck to you with everything, but give her her space right now...
- Apr 11, 2001
- 6,224
- 686
- 136
Originally posted by: Gobadgrs
Sorry to hear it man. I got the breakup via US Postal mail....
That's the truth. After you realize how stupid you were, it sucks even more to know that you can't take any of it back...
I know it must be quite difficult. I had one long relationship that wasn't even half of that, and I'm often still faced with the memories and the questions. Love is a difficult thing...but you can only keep the hope that when it goes right, that you will be glad you were open to it, dispite all the pain of previous relationships.
I often get downtrodded thinking that I've already loved and how can I love like that again??...but then I look around, sometimes at the people here, like Grasshopper or LANMAN or the Skoorbs...and I get a little smile thinking that it could happen to me too, and it will just fit.
Who knows what will happen with this girl...but try and give a little space. You will hate yourself if you push too hard. Just know that if its real love, she will want to come back.
I'm no expert, but I think its possible thats how it works. I'm sorry that you are going through alot tho...
I often get downtrodded thinking that I've already loved and how can I love like that again??...but then I look around, sometimes at the people here, like Grasshopper or LANMAN or the Skoorbs...and I get a little smile thinking that it could happen to me too, and it will just fit.
Who knows what will happen with this girl...but try and give a little space. You will hate yourself if you push too hard. Just know that if its real love, she will want to come back.
I'm no expert, but I think its possible thats how it works. I'm sorry that you are going through alot tho...
I sometimes wonder what the hell this "love" thing is all about.
Can anyone who love to use the term "love" explain what "love" is?
Sure, love is the sensation triggered when the amine we know as phenylethylamine is triggered by internal or external phenomena (taking into account a biopsychosocial account of humanity and denying deterministic notions of behaviorists and latter mind problems of functionalism). It is what causes the highs lovers experience. Those heavy responses and emotions such as breathing, sweaty palms, etc, are the rsult of overdose. Phenylethylamine releases dopamine into the pleasure centers of the brain with no specific neurons to which it attaches but more like a site in the brain that houses the bundles. The effects can be counterbalanced by transmitters that block receptors or drugs like fluoxetine (Prozac) artificially reducing the time to depolarize the cell given a hyperpolarization.
that's what love is.
And yet, let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds. Oh no ! it is an everfixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken...
Cheers !
skel, feel better. Rebuild slowly, but rebuild. It is hard to lose people. Very, very, almost deathly painful
Can anyone who love to use the term "love" explain what "love" is?
Sure, love is the sensation triggered when the amine we know as phenylethylamine is triggered by internal or external phenomena (taking into account a biopsychosocial account of humanity and denying deterministic notions of behaviorists and latter mind problems of functionalism). It is what causes the highs lovers experience. Those heavy responses and emotions such as breathing, sweaty palms, etc, are the rsult of overdose. Phenylethylamine releases dopamine into the pleasure centers of the brain with no specific neurons to which it attaches but more like a site in the brain that houses the bundles. The effects can be counterbalanced by transmitters that block receptors or drugs like fluoxetine (Prozac) artificially reducing the time to depolarize the cell given a hyperpolarization.
that's what love is.
And yet, let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds. Oh no ! it is an everfixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken...
Cheers !
skel, feel better. Rebuild slowly, but rebuild. It is hard to lose people. Very, very, almost deathly painful
Originally posted by: linuxboy
I sometimes wonder what the hell this "love" thing is all about.
Can anyone who love to use the term "love" explain what "love" is?
Sure, love is the sensation triggered when the amine we know as phenylethylamine is triggered by internal or external phenomena (taking into account a biopsychosocial account of humanity and denying deterministic notions of behaviorists and latter mind problems of functionalism). It is what causes the highs lovers experience. Those heavy responses and emotions such as breathing, sweaty palms, etc, are the rsult of overdose. Phenylethylamine releases dopamine into the pleasure centers of the brain with no specific neurons to which it attaches but more like a site in the brain that houses the bundles. The effects can be counterbalanced by transmitters that block receptors or drugs like fluoxetine (Prozac) artificially reducing the time to depolarize the cell given a hyperpolarization.
that's what love is.
And yet, let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds. Oh no ! it is an everfixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken...
Cheers !
Ha ha, you misspelled "result".
I don't think that anyone can accurately Describe what Love is in one sentence. It is so many things. Consideration, respect, sacrifice, Empathy, forgiveness... I think that love as it is isn't something that can be put into words into any human language. it is a felt emotion it is something I think that is only felt on a plane that only our heart can touch.
What is love to you, may not what it is to someone else. everyone feels it differently.
call me a sappy old man if you want, but I know what it means to me. And To me. if I could describe it.... Could you call it love?
Originally posted by: linuxboy
I sometimes wonder what the hell this "love" thing is all about.
Can anyone who love to use the term "love" explain what "love" is?
Sure, love is the sensation triggered when the amine we know as phenylethylamine is triggered by internal or external phenomena (taking into account a biopsychosocial account of humanity and denying deterministic notions of behaviorists and latter mind problems of functionalism). It is what causes the highs lovers experience. Those heavy responses and emotions such as breathing, sweaty palms, etc, are the rsult of overdose. Phenylethylamine releases dopamine into the pleasure centers of the brain with no specific neurons to which it attaches but more like a site in the brain that houses the bundles. The effects can be counterbalanced by transmitters that block receptors or drugs like fluoxetine (Prozac) artificially reducing the time to depolarize the cell given a hyperpolarization.
that's what love is.
And yet, let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds. Oh no ! it is an everfixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken...
Cheers !
skel, feel better. Rebuild slowly, but rebuild. It is hard to lose people. Very, very, almost deathly painful
To me, that is better described as "lust".
Here is how I responded last night when I was asked to choose between love and lust:
"Both. Love is mystical undefinable stuff which people pretend as though they know what it is but they don't. Lust is simply a feeling and is easier to define. They are complementary. Love without lust is possible but requires a state of mind that is beyond rational thinking. So I prefer love with lust."
Originally posted by: Gobadgrs
Sorry to hear it man. I got the breakup via US Postal mail....
A Friend of mine got the "Break up" Via Text Messages on his Cell phone.
:disgust:
To me, that is better described as "lust".
No, lust actually has a different pharmacological origin; similar but a little more complex. And which do you describe as lust? I said: skel feel better, quoted Shakespeare's mystical and metaphysical definition of love and the neurological foundations of the physical reality.
Cheers !
MaxDepth
Diamond Member
- Jun 12, 2001
- 8,757
- 43
- 91
DO NOT talk to her
DO NOT go over to her place
DO NOT return her phone calls
DO NOT let her in your apt/house/van down by the river/whatever
DO see other friends
DO go out and chat up some nice girls
DO some work on your place
DO some reading
DO go out and visit friends/relatives/the scary guy at the end of the block (oh wait, that's me)
She went over to your place in the middle of the night because she was feeling lonely and vulnerable. She got better when you showed that you were weak in her presence. As long as you show that you will take her back (no matter what), she will be comfortable in staying away from you; secure in the knowledge that while she goes out and looks for something better, you will always be at home waiting for her. She grows while you become stunted. Show her that you can be something wonderful without her and without trying to get her to notice.
She walked out. She has to walk back.
DO NOT go over to her place
DO NOT return her phone calls
DO NOT let her in your apt/house/van down by the river/whatever
DO see other friends
DO go out and chat up some nice girls
DO some work on your place
DO some reading
DO go out and visit friends/relatives/the scary guy at the end of the block (oh wait, that's me)
She went over to your place in the middle of the night because she was feeling lonely and vulnerable. She got better when you showed that you were weak in her presence. As long as you show that you will take her back (no matter what), she will be comfortable in staying away from you; secure in the knowledge that while she goes out and looks for something better, you will always be at home waiting for her. She grows while you become stunted. Show her that you can be something wonderful without her and without trying to get her to notice.
She walked out. She has to walk back.
MaxDepth
Diamond Member
- Jun 12, 2001
- 8,757
- 43
- 91
Yeah, yeah. I dated the girl from college for five years too. She cried at a friends wedding at the 4th year mark because I hadn't asked her to marry me. Then after I did ask, two months before the wedding she bails. Didn't discuss the problems with me, but only to her new classmates of three months (she went on to grad school) and a school psychiatrist for two weeks. She found an apt and job before she left, never telling me anything.
After I dumped off some stuff that she left we talked. And many of the things that she thought would be true (like giving up her last name), I dispelled. But we both were thick headed: she wouldn't admit that she made a mistake and I wouldn't ask her back.
It hurt like hell for a year but I moved on. Now five years later, I'm sooooooo frikken happy with the girl I'm seeing now. She smarter, more artistic, and so much cooler than the one who left. I can't believe I'm this lucky to be dating her.
I'm not saying to be as callous as I was. But you already let your feeling be known and you've acknowledged your faults right out in the open. You've done enough. It's her turn to come back her not.
TRENDING THREADS
-
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)- Started by DisEnchantment
- Replies: 25K
-
Discussion Intel Meteor, Arrow, Lunar & Panther Lakes + WCL Discussion Threads
- Started by Tigerick
- Replies: 23K
-
Discussion Intel current and future Lakes & Rapids thread- Started by TheF34RChannel
- Replies: 23K
-
-
Facebook
Twitter