Dumbest helpdesk/support call you've ever gotten? (or answers you've ever given/gotten)

[LordThing]

7 years as tech support and you gain a few stories....Here was a good one:

Working for WVU we had to take care of students in dorms. You were always met with freshmen with brand new out of the box $2000+ computers that they were sure they had to have. At this time, network cards were not standard on machines and you needed to purchase a semi-expensive network card.

One student tried to shove the ISA card through the opening in the back of the case. After forcing it till the metal was bending, he figured out you might have to open the case up to see inside. Instead of removing screws and trying to open it, he took a hack saw and tin snips and gained access to the innards. Then he attempted to put the ISA card in a PCI slot, he was unsuccessful. He then proceeded to pound the card in with a hammer until his motherboard broke. The point he called us at was when the computer would no longer come on and he wanted to know if Duct Tape hurt a computer when he taped everything back together. We really didn't have the heart to tell him he just ruined $3000 worth of computer equipment in under 2 days, we told him as far as we know, he might want to check with the manufacturer on that one.



I have more if you guys want to hear them....

 

[Avatar26]

Ok, again, not quite a help desk call, but I work for a *ahem* small company:

Her: Your name?
Me: Nick
Her: And your company?
Me: 3M
Her: How do you spell that?
Me: 3.....

Scary thing is, I've gotten this more than once!

 

[McMadman]

Originally posted by: JeffreyLebowski
well i support field techs, and i had one call in and say he had a DOA drive. Turns out the dip sh!t just pulled a swappable drive out of a RAID 5 array without prepping it. This was at a national bank mind you, so he got fired over the phone.

Were you the one that got to tell the idiot he was fired? (I'm sure his reaction was priceless.)

 

[NTB]

Originally posted by: LordThing
7 years as tech support and you gain a few stories....Here was a good one:

Working for WVU we had to take care of students in dorms. You were always met with freshmen with brand new out of the box $2000+ computers that they were sure they had to have. At this time, network cards were not standard on machines and you needed to purchase a semi-expensive network card.

One student tried to shove the ISA card through the opening in the back of the case. After forcing it till the metal was bending, he figured out you might have to open the case up to see inside. Instead of removing screws and trying to open it, he took a hack saw and tin snips and gained access to the innards. Then he attempted to put the ISA card in a PCI slot, he was unsuccessful. He then proceeded to pound the card in with a hammer until his motherboard broke. The point he called us at was when the computer would no longer come on and he wanted to know if Duct Tape hurt a computer when he taped everything back together. We really didn't have the heart to tell him he just ruined $3000 worth of computer equipment in under 2 days, we told him as far as we know, he might want to check with the manufacturer on that one.



I have more if you guys want to hear them....

dear god....:Q

Nate

 

[Placer14]

"My computer restarts everytime I flush the toilet."

*sigh* Those were the days.

Ooo oo....almost forgot. "I sent my laptop batteryto your recycling center over a month ago and still haven't gotten my replacement back. What the hell are those idiots doing voer there? Throwing them away?!?!?"

 

[NTB]

Originally posted by: Placer14
"My computer restarts everytime I flush the toilet."

*sigh* Those were the days.

wtf? I've heard of getting a boiling-hot shower when someone else flushes, but re-starting the computer?

Nate

 

[Haircut]

User phoned up saying that the software had a really strange error message that they had never seen before when they tried to start it up.

After getting them to supply a screenshot it turned out that they right-clicked on the shortcut and brought up the properties box!

 

[Encryptic]

Originally posted by: NTB

Originally posted by: Placer14
"My computer restarts everytime I flush the toilet."

*sigh* Those were the days.

wtf? I've heard of getting a boiling-hot shower when someone else flushes, but re-starting the computer?

Nate

Maybe they've got a liquid cooling system on the computer that's hooked up to the water supply? 😀

 

[NTB]

Originally posted by: PoPPeR

Originally posted by: NathanBWF
one of our users sent me an email the other day saying that he was unable to send any email.

haha, now if only we could tell the stories of the dumbest helpdesk/support answers we've ever gotten...

Why not? Let 'em rip 🙂

Nate

 

[Bootprint]

Originally posted by: Encryptic

Originally posted by: NTB

Originally posted by: Placer14
"My computer restarts everytime I flush the toilet."

*sigh* Those were the days.

wtf? I've heard of getting a boiling-hot shower when someone else flushes, but re-starting the computer?

Nate

Maybe they've got a liquid cooling system on the computer that's hooked up to the water supply? 😀

A place I worked had a system like that for the A/C to cool the computer room. Primary A/C used Lake water, or so I was told, and the backup was cold tap water.

 

[Placer14]

Originally posted by: Encryptic

Originally posted by: NTB

Originally posted by: Placer14
"My computer restarts everytime I flush the toilet."

*sigh* Those were the days.

wtf? I've heard of getting a boiling-hot shower when someone else flushes, but re-starting the computer?

Nate

Maybe they've got a liquid cooling system on the computer that's hooked up to the water supply? 😀

Actually, they were out int he middle of nowhere and everything is run off a generator. (plumming included) Flushing the toilet drained the generator and everything shuts off in the house.

Needless to say, it took over an hour and a half to figure this out and it was only by accident. 🙁

 

[yukichigai]

Originally posted by: anxi80

Originally posted by: wyvrn
Can you see what I am doing on my computer?

i get that one at least 2-3 times a day.

So does our IT department. The only difference is that they can. Only if they have the computer number though. (Microsoft VNC)

I don't have any really good stories, but I do have a horoscope I wrote:

Aquarius: In a surprising turn of the tables you will be laughed at for mistaking your computer's cup holder for a CD-ROM drive.

 

[Encryptic]

Originally posted by: Bootprint

Originally posted by: Encryptic

Originally posted by: NTB

Originally posted by: Placer14
"My computer restarts everytime I flush the toilet."

*sigh* Those were the days.

wtf? I've heard of getting a boiling-hot shower when someone else flushes, but re-starting the computer?

Nate

Maybe they've got a liquid cooling system on the computer that's hooked up to the water supply? 😀

A place I worked had a system like that for the A/C to cool the computer room. Primary A/C used Lake water, or so I was told, and the backup was cold tap water.

Interesting. My response was a joke, though. 😀

 

[Walleye]

Originally posted by: Placer14

Originally posted by: Encryptic

Originally posted by: NTB

Originally posted by: Placer14
"My computer restarts everytime I flush the toilet."

*sigh* Those were the days.

wtf? I've heard of getting a boiling-hot shower when someone else flushes, but re-starting the computer?

Nate

Maybe they've got a liquid cooling system on the computer that's hooked up to the water supply? 😀

Actually, they were out int he middle of nowhere and everything is run off a generator. (plumming included) Flushing the toilet drained the generator and everything shuts off in the house.

Needless to say, it took over an hour and a half to figure this out and it was only by accident. 🙁

i've never ever heard of an electric flush... umm...

 

[chimmytime]

woman: why doesn't my disk work? i have all my finals on it! it worked at home!
me: ok
woman: I stuck it to the fridge with a magnet last nite so I wouldn't forget it!
me: SOL

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: Hossenfeffer
Her: "My cupholder is broken"
Me: "Your cupholder?"
Her: "Yes, that cupholder that comes out when you push the button. It doesn't work"
Me: "Oh..."

Sorry, Hossenfeffer... but every tech person who claims to have taken the call when they said this, deserves to be slapped.

 

[Hossenfeffer]

Originally posted by: DrPizza

Originally posted by: Hossenfeffer
Her: "My cupholder is broken"
Me: "Your cupholder?"
Her: "Yes, that cupholder that comes out when you push the button. It doesn't work"
Me: "Oh..."

Sorry, Hossenfeffer... but every tech person who claims to have taken the call when they said this, deserves to be slapped.

Slap away, if you'd like.

That came from the same woman that asked:

"What is this thing it keeps asking for... a diskette?"

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: Walleye
i've never ever heard of an electric flush... umm...

The toilet needs water to fill back up after flushing... whenever water turns on, the generator needs to run to operate the water pump. (Not everyone has water just pumped into their house by some municipality)

 

[nan0bug]

While working for mindspring tech support:

Him: "Im just calling to let you know that your servers are down in <insert town here>"
Me: "Ok, what operating system are you running"
Him: "Look, I'm an MCSE and I KNOW that the problem is on your end. Can you just let your guys know about the problem?"
Me: "Let me take a look at our servers there.... yeah, they seem to be working ok.. what operating system are you running"
Him: "God dammit I'm not a moron or one of these people who don't know how to turn on a computer! I'm an MCSE"

Long story short:
The guy installed the tcp/ip stack from Windows 98 over Windows 98 SE, and hit OK through all the version errors.

 

[Placer14]

Well, it was new to me. I wouldn't have been abel to figure i out if it weren't for the fact that they had Taco Bell from the city that evening. 😛

 

[Paunchy]

I find this one kind of hard to believe, but a few years ago I was working tech support at a small ISP and the other techs liked to tell this story over cigarettes during break.

Apparently, an older lady had signed up for internet access and had paid about six months in advance. She calls tech support midway into her third month and angrily complains that she hasn't been able to use the internet AT ALL since she signed up. When asked if she'd called in before, she replied that she thought the problem would eventually fix itself, but she'd finally gotten frustrated and decided to get help. The tech that took the call apologized, told her that they would have been more than happy to help her if she'd called sooner, and then asked if she was near her computer so that he could verify some settings for her.

Her reply (which again, I have a hard time believing) was priceless: "My computer? You need a computer to get on the internet?"

 

[NTB]

Originally posted by: Paunchy
I find this one kind of hard to believe, but a few years ago I was working tech support at a small ISP and the other techs liked to tell this story over cigarettes during break.

Apparently, an older lady had signed up for internet access and had paid about six months in advance. She calls tech support midway into her third month and angrily complains that she hasn't been able to use the internet AT ALL since she signed up. When asked if she'd called in before, she replied that she thought the problem would eventually fix itself, but she'd finally gotten frustrated and decided to get help. The tech that took the call apologized, told her that they would have been more than happy to help her if she'd called sooner, and then asked if she was near her computer so that he could verify some settings for her.

Her reply (which again, I have a hard time believing) was priceless: "My computer? You need a computer to get on the internet?"

So that's where that simpsons episode came from 😛

Nate

 

[sadb0i]

Me: Go to start -> search -> all files and folders -> (file name)
Him: its says internet explorer cannot not find the file
Me: ??? Internet Explorer?
Him: Yea.
Me: Make sure you're typing the search under search area and not where it says address
Him: Oh.

 

[rudder]

I am not a tech support person but in my job I am in charge of offering help to one of our regional offices. They needed officexp cd so I made an ISO and put it on our FTP server (nope you can't get it). Anywhoo, the IT person in charge at the regional office calls me and says she can't connect.

I ask her what program she is using to connect to the ftp server. She says none and that she wasn't familiar with FTP since she had not used it in a couple of years.

Normally I give people leeway since they may not work around computers all day, but this lady is the IT DEPARTMENT HEAD for the regional office.



EDIT: and in a previous job someone asked if they could have a network card to take home so they could connect to the office network from home.

 

[mrlayance]

Me: How can I help you
Person: I bought a laptop and just got it 3 days ago, the lable on the box says it was made in China.
Me: Yes
Person: Is it save to open the box? Could I get SARS?
Me: No, (and a a bunch of other stuff)

I really wanted to say, "Don't worry, it comes with Anti-Virus" 🙂