OK, went back to separate displays, with TV main display, TV has everything, all icons, all windows, but is still small, although tv resolution is set to 1920 x 1080. And now the viewsonic just has the desktop wallpaper and nothing else - like the tv with the viewsonic set as main display.
Went back to separate with the viewsonic as main display, and now the tv just has the desktop wallpaper, and the viewsonic has the icons and icons. But now, when I click on an icon in task bar for minimized window, the window expands up to the tv, not the viewsonic.
Whats more, without changing anything in tv, just sending computer to hdmi and selecting the hdmi input, after going back to regular tv, the tv doesn't display right on the tv, with dark bands above and below the actual tv image.
Even though it seems I'm taking 2 steps back for every one forward, I go to the BIOS and the only parameter I see is "frame buffer size", which is set to 256MB and greyed out. To be able to change it, I have to change "iGPU frame buffer control" to manual from auto. But it says this is for hybrid SLI function, and I thought SLI was to use two graphics cards together, with a ribbon cable connecting them on the top? I haven't tried changing that yet.
And almost everytime I open nvidia control panel, after I change something (which is successful), the control panel crashes with a windows "stopped working, will close" message.
It's amazing how much time computers can suck down, and how much time people are willing to spend trying to help strangers - thanks.