Drunken Etiquette and other good stories

[Stiganator]

This evening I went out for wings with my buddy. He's been having a rough time living with the girlfriends parents while he looks for a full time teaching gig in the city. Well he said he want to get wasted, but didn't want to look bad at the parents so I said, "If you want to party you're always welcome at my place." Well, he asked if he could get trashed at my place and I said no prob.

Well, here it is 2:30 am. I hear a loud crash from the guest room. I'm thinking he just rolled out of bed no biggie. I hear my bro come out of his room to see what is up and I go check what it up a second later. My buddy is wandering in the hall looking into my dark laundry room. He asks where the bathroom is and I point over the right direction.

I went to check in the guest room where he was staying to make sure he didn't hit his head on the night stand or anything and I notice a little puddle in my closet. He pissed all over my golf clubs that were in the closet!!!! I threw down a towel to soak most of it up and high tailed it before he returned from the rest room, so he wasn't embarrassed.

What is proper etiquette here? Do I give him hell for peeing on my clubs tomorrow or let it slide since I offered to let him come drink at my place?

 

[mooglemania85]

Originally posted by: Stiganator
This evening I went out for wings with my buddy. He's been having a rough time living with the girlfriends parents while he looks for a full time teaching gig in the city. Well he said he want to get wasted, but didn't want to look bad at the parents so I said, "If you want to party you're always welcome at my place." Well, he asked if he could get trashed at my place and I said no prob.

Well, here it is 2:30 am. I hear a loud crash from the guest room. I'm thinking he just rolled out of bed no biggie. I hear my bro come out of his room to see what is up and I go check what it up a second later. My buddy is wandering in the hall looking into my dark laundry room. He asks where the bathroom is and I point over the right direction.

I went to check in the guest room where he was staying to make sure he didn't hit his head on the night stand or anything and I notice a little puddle in my closet. He pissed all over my golf clubs that were in the closet!!!! I threw down a towel to soak most of it up and high tailed it before he returned from the rest room, so he wasn't embarrassed.

What is proper etiquette here? Do I give him hell for peeing on my clubs tomorrow or let it slide since I offered to let him come drink at my place?

You give him hell for it in the morning. Depending on how good of a friend he is, perhaps you'll get a good laugh out of it 10 years from now.

 

[kedlav]

Dude, he pissed on your clubs. On. Your. Clubs. Give 'em hell!

 

[dug777]

:laugh:

Interesting that you yanks seem to enjoy pissing in the oddest places. At college a stoned and drunk yank walked into my mates room, pissed all over his laptop and desk, then tried to get into bed with him. He later explained that he thought it was his room, so one must assume he habitually pissed all over his desk and computer

 

[Stiganator]

Yeah, I guess I should have expected it. Last time I went drinking with him was a good story. And I will elaborate.


I arrive at his home at about midnight. He's on the porch drinking. When I get out of the car and yell to him, he falls down the stairs into the lawn. This should have been adequate foreshadowing. He immediately says he would like to go to Taco Bell and that it just just two blocks away. I say no prob and four of us walk on down there. We all order and eat which is relatively uneventful. Three of us were techies and chatted for 5-10 minutes about current computer trends. My buddy lays his head down since his isn't interested. When the three of us are ready to go we get up and slap him on the back.

No response.

"Hey buddy, Get up, we're going home now" ......nothing. My friend hits him, he falls off his stool and is sprawled out of the floor blacked out. At this point a guy ordering asks us if we need help while he smirks and the Night Manager threatens to call the cops. I tell him to chill out and that I will go get my car and pick him up. I run back to my car and high tail it to Taco Bell. Now my friend was not small at the time, being a heavy lifter. Probably between 250-280. The three of us techies could barely lift his limp form. So, here we are picking this man up and dragging him out the side door across the drive through ( I see the silhouette of someone laughing hysterically in their car at a body being carried/dragged out of the side door right in front of them) and stuff him in my back seat.

When I get back to his place, I wake up his roommate and let him know my friend is unconscious and that I'll need help getting him to his room. The roommate says, "Damnit, not again....alright where is he?" We go down open my backdoor and I grab his legs. Sure enough, that induces him to vomit. All over my brand new out of the dealership car (I had just picked it up that day). So I smell tacos, vomit and Jack Daniels all over my back seat. We got him safely to bed and made sure he wouldn't choke on his vomit or anything.


Another great story happened when he was a college freshman. He lived in a dorm room with a connected dorm with some other guys. They decided to move all the beds into one room and have an entertainment room in the other. Well, one night after drinking my buddy slips out of bed to drain the dragon. He goes about his business and heads back to bed. The next morning (see afternoon) his roommate asks him what he did last night. My friend says, " I don't remember much after going to some parties, I think just went to bed." The roommate says, "Really, do you remember getting up and peeing on Cory?" My friend laughs thinking it was a joke. Cory walks into the room and says, "No, I'm serious. You got up and pissed all over my last night and then passed out." He was very, very embarrassed.

Another one that comes to mind is one time where he was party hopping. Well the next morning he wakes up to see an old lady standing over him. As he gains consciousness, he realizes he is only wearing his boxers and is sleeping in an old ladies front yard. She apparently wasn't too concerned and offered to make him pancakes, which is graciously accepted.


Man, sometimes I wish I had awesome stories like that, but most of the time I don't.

 

[BigJ]

As someone who has been the butt of many drinking stories, I say this:

You are responsible to not only tell him, but to deride and chastise him. Feel free to exaggerate and really mess with him.

I won't bother telling any of my stories. Most people don't believe me anyway.

 

[IEC]

You deserve to be ridiculed if you get so wasted you don't know what you're doing

 

[Stiganator]

I should have gotten a pic of him this morning, his head was down by bottom of the bed and he had a pillow on his head. I think in times like this you gotta do it like chapelle says, "Never pass out at a white dudes house, because they will do some borderline homoerotic sh!t, like stick a carrot up your @ss!"

 

[Mr Incognito]

What a douche. On your golf clubs none the less.

Think of it this way. He may have been too drunk to realize the epicness of his failing he was responsible for not getting that drunk. I don't know, the golf clubs are close to my heart so if someone peed on them I would give them hell/get me a new bag and possibly grips.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Mr Incognito
What a douche. On your golf clubs none the less.

Think of it this way. He may have been too drunk to realize the epicness of his failing he was responsible for not getting that drunk. I don't know, the golf clubs are close to my heart so if someone peed on them I would give them hell/get me a new bag and possibly grips.

i wouldn't call him a douche. even sober guys piss all over things.

 

[IEC]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Mr Incognito
What a douche. On your golf clubs none the less.

Think of it this way. He may have been too drunk to realize the epicness of his failing he was responsible for not getting that drunk. I don't know, the golf clubs are close to my heart so if someone peed on them I would give them hell/get me a new bag and possibly grips.

i wouldn't call him a douche. even sober guys piss all over things.

What kind of guys do you hang around?! :Q

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Spartan Niner

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Mr Incognito
What a douche. On your golf clubs none the less.

Think of it this way. He may have been too drunk to realize the epicness of his failing he was responsible for not getting that drunk. I don't know, the golf clubs are close to my heart so if someone peed on them I would give them hell/get me a new bag and possibly grips.

i wouldn't call him a douche. even sober guys piss all over things.

What kind of guys do you hang around?! :Q

fun ones.

actually, i grew up with 3 brothers. nuff said.

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: Spartan Niner
You deserve to be ridiculed if you get so wasted you don't know what you're doing

:thumbsup:

 

[SoulAssassin]

I got up in the middle of night in college and started pissing all over the floor. G/f at the time was sleeping over and my roommate was in the room too. They both looked at each other like 'wtf?' and tried to talk me into going into the bathroom but I was too out of it. Finished up, got back in bed and went to sleep. I have no recollection of it whatsoever. The messed up part was they didn't tell me for weeks and no one tried to clean it up in the morning or even told me to do it. It didn't stink but this was when I was living with my frat and the whole place stunk of stale beer anyways.

Oh and there was the time I whipped it out and started pissing in the corner at the nudie bar. That's what happens when you start drinking at 4am for Wing Bowl (it's a Philly thing). Only my boys noticed and somehow I didn't get kicked out. I tried to pay for a lap dance with my Acme card....that was a good day.

 

[effowe]

Related story: Me and my buddy were over at another friends place drinking. She lived in a studio apartment so it's very small, with the living room / bedroom / kitchen all in the same room. My friend that I brought over there passes out on the floor while me and the girl are still drinking and playing cards. Some time after my friend wakes up and heads over to the kitchen. He then opens up the cabinet under the sink and starts to unzip his pants. At this point I start yelling at him asking him what the hell he is doing. He just says "taking a piss", so I have to yell at him some more and slap him around until he regains consciousness and goes to the bathroom.

Seriously, what is with drunk guys pissing anywhere when they are half passed out.

 

[ys]

A friend brought over a dude saying he is a boozing stud. We like drinking buddies so we treated him well with alcohol. He expressed his appreciation of our hospitable way by leaving a stinking pile of crap on our kitchen floor. He was very considerate by covering it with a pot.

 

[D1gger]

After reading these stories I have come to the conclusion that I have lived a very dull and sheltered life. I have never been so drunk that I can't remember what has happened to me, nor have I ever peed anywhere I didn't intend to.

I guess I just have get more serious about my drinking.

 

[JEDIYoda]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Spartan Niner

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Mr Incognito
What a douche. On your golf clubs none the less.

Think of it this way. He may have been too drunk to realize the epicness of his failing he was responsible for not getting that drunk. I don't know, the golf clubs are close to my heart so if someone peed on them I would give them hell/get me a new bag and possibly grips.

i wouldn't call him a douche. even sober guys piss all over things.

What kind of guys do you hang around?! :Q

fun ones.

actually, i grew up with 3 brothers. nuff said.

yeah but if God had intended that toilet seats were not to be pissed on he wouldn`t invented them in the down position!!

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: D1gger
After reading these stories I have come to the conclusion that I have lived a very dull and sheltered life. I have never been so drunk that I can't remember what has happened to me, nor have I ever peed anywhere I didn't intend to.

I guess I just have get more serious about my drinking.

i dont think ive ever been that drunk but i have lots of friends who have been

best is when yo udo your best to keep a drunken buddy from sleeping with someone he doesnt want to, but he does anyway and then totally does not remember it

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: ys
A friend brought over a dude saying he is a boozing stud. We like drinking buddies so we treated him well with alcohol. He expressed his appreciation of our hospitable way by leaving a stinking pile of crap on our kitchen floor. He was very considerate by covering it with a pot.

winner!

 

[HardcoreRomantic]

At least he didn't throw up on you.... the night before his wedding.... in his best man's new pick up

I still haven't told him though.

 

[clamum]

Never pissed in a closet or anything, but I peed myself twice. Was so knocked out that I guess my body couldn't wake me up when it had to go. So it said "well fsck you then, I'm goin anyway".

 

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: Spartan Niner
You deserve to be ridiculed if you get so wasted you don't know what you're doing

agree. bust his hump for few days on it.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: dug777
:laugh:

Interesting that you yanks seem to enjoy pissing in the oddest places. At college a stoned and drunk yank walked into my mates room, pissed all over his laptop and desk, then tried to get into bed with him. He later explained that he thought it was his room, so one must assume he habitually pissed all over his desk and computer

In your country you don't get to use your wieners much...so you tend to be accurate when you finally get an excuse to whip them out.

Anyway dug will think about that for a while, some people like pushing doors that say pull

I have found myself fkd up an pissing in wierd places. I was in a buddy's place one night and ended up in his bathroom mid night. I threw up in his toilet, but then pissed in his sink. I still don't know why I did that other than intoxication alters your mind alot.

 

[mrSHEiK124]

Originally posted by: Stiganator
Yeah, I guess I should have expected it. Last time I went drinking with him was a good story. And I will elaborate.


I arrive at his home at about midnight. He's on the porch drinking. When I get out of the car and yell to him, he falls down the stairs into the lawn. This should have been adequate foreshadowing. He immediately says he would like to go to Taco Bell and that it just just two blocks away. I say no prob and four of us walk on down there. We all order and eat which is relatively uneventful. Three of us were techies and chatted for 5-10 minutes about current computer trends. My buddy lays his head down since his isn't interested. When the three of us are ready to go we get up and slap him on the back.

No response.

"Hey buddy, Get up, we're going home now" ......nothing. My friend hits him, he falls off his stool and is sprawled out of the floor blacked out. At this point a guy ordering asks us if we need help while he smirks and the Night Manager threatens to call the cops. I tell him to chill out and that I will go get my car and pick him up. I run back to my car and high tail it to Taco Bell. Now my friend was not small at the time, being a heavy lifter. Probably between 250-280. The three of us techies could barely lift his limp form. So, here we are picking this man up and dragging him out the side door across the drive through ( I see the silhouette of someone laughing hysterically in their car at a body being carried/dragged out of the side door right in front of them) and stuff him in my back seat.

When I get back to his place, I wake up his roommate and let him know my friend is unconscious and that I'll need help getting him to his room. The roommate says, "Damnit, not again....alright where is he?" We go down open my backdoor and I grab his legs. Sure enough, that induces him to vomit. All over my brand new out of the dealership car (I had just picked it up that day). So I smell tacos, vomit and Jack Daniels all over my back seat. We got him safely to bed and made sure he wouldn't choke on his vomit or anything.


Another great story happened when he was a college freshman. He lived in a dorm room with a connected dorm with some other guys. They decided to move all the beds into one room and have an entertainment room in the other. Well, one night after drinking my buddy slips out of bed to drain the dragon. He goes about his business and heads back to bed. The next morning (see afternoon) his roommate asks him what he did last night. My friend says, " I don't remember much after going to some parties, I think just went to bed." The roommate says, "Really, do you remember getting up and peeing on Cory?" My friend laughs thinking it was a joke. Cory walks into the room and says, "No, I'm serious. You got up and pissed all over my last night and then passed out." He was very, very embarrassed.

Another one that comes to mind is one time where he was party hopping. Well the next morning he wakes up to see an old lady standing over him. As he gains consciousness, he realizes he is only wearing his boxers and is sleeping in an old ladies front yard. She apparently wasn't too concerned and offered to make him pancakes, which is graciously accepted.


Man, sometimes I wish I had awesome stories like that, but most of the time I don't.

LMAO