I have used the vic firth pads and they work pretty well at deadening to sound but you do lose some stick response and you still hear a little thumping. Hnnestly though, it kind of sucked playing with them on.
I used to feel the same way about e-drums as you do, until I bought a Roland TD3. Being able to play along to an ipod with headphones was great. Then I bought a drum amp. Then I upgraded from the TD3 to the TD12 and I am in love with them. All mesh heads and can play as loud or as soft as I want. Plus no tuning and through software can get many many different sounds. And thanks to Rockband/Guitar hero, I play along to real songs minus the drum track.
Dont get me wrong, I still love my Tama acoustic set, but with the E-drums, I can play whenever and wherever I want.
Still not sure what I want to do with the TD3