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Don't fart while running up stairs

Pppfffttt!!

I do it all the time; I fart running up the stairs from the subway. It hits the jerk who won't keep one foot away from me, right in his/her face.
 
You're wrong.


Stairs that are up to code give you the best angle of projection. Efficient since you only put 20% of the normal amount of effort into it.
 
All depends on your diet. I changed to a low fat high fiber diet and when I run up stairs it sounds like sustained artillery fire. Got a high five from several other fellows on the job.
 
Well, the best way to chair a meeting, is from the throne, obviously.

Fart on the stairs to assert your dominance. Take your place on the throne to project your power.
 
good-luck-not-hitting-encouragement-ecard-someecards.jpg
 
RichUK said:
I won... Just.

It required a detour to the toilet for a quick inspection. 😱

I was on my way to a meeting that I was chairing, so could have been quite awkward had I lost the gamble and not checked!
Click to expand...

How the fuck would you shit your pants and not know?
 
Best thread I've read in awhile. Sometimes you just gotta appreciate the little things. Like not shitting yourself.
 
RichUK said:
It was a warm fart towards the end - I couldn't be sure!
Click to expand...

I find it rather amusing that we as humans, still are never 100% sure if we shit ourselves. We have to check. It should be an obvious feeling, but it is not. Odd.

ps. I shit my cheeks the other day, didn't quite make it to the pants.
 
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