Dogs vs. Cats

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,746
1,941
126
The Dog's Diary:

8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an Attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a
mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this
would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my
capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about
what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how
to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now.
 

destrekor

Lifer
Nov 18, 2005
28,799
358
126
dogs aren't as simple as some people make them out. They definitely have personalities and enjoy human company almost constantly. And are loyal, unlike those bastards, those deceiving cats.
man's best friend indeed.
 

GDaddy

Senior member
Mar 30, 2006
331
0
0
Dogs are like little boys
Cats are like women

Learning how to relate with one helps with the other
 

OdiN

Banned
Mar 1, 2000
16,431
3
0
Originally posted by: GDaddy
Dogs are like little boys
Cats are like women

Learning how to relate with one helps with the other
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooook......

You just keep on learning there little buddy.
 

GoatMonkey

Golden Member
Feb 25, 2005
1,253
0
0
Dogs are fun sometimes, but cats are much less of a pain in the ass to live with full time.

Imagine this situation. You're out with friends having dinner. You finish and someone says "hey, let's go do something else"... get drinks, watch a movie, whatever. The dog owner then says "I can't I left my dog inside and he needs to get out for a walk." Meanwhile, the cat owner is out partying, or whatever.

A dog is great fun for a weekend in the park playing frisbee, but the rest of the time it's not worth it. Somebody needs to start a dog rental business.
 

Josh

Lifer
Mar 20, 2000
10,924
0
0
Originally posted by: GoatMonkey
Dogs are fun sometimes, but cats are much less of a pain in the ass to live with full time.

Imagine this situation. You're out with friends having dinner. You finish and someone says "hey, let's go do something else"... get drinks, watch a movie, whatever. The dog owner then says "I can't I left my dog inside and he needs to get out for a walk." Meanwhile, the cat owner is out partying, or whatever.

A dog is great fun for a weekend in the park playing frisbee, but the rest of the time it's not worth it. Somebody needs to start a dog rental business.
It's called hiring a dog sitter. Or if you have a doggy door where the dog can let himself outside -no problem. Cats dont do anything but look pissed, dogs on the other hand will do a variety of different tricks to impress you. Like Mark Wahlberg's dog in "Shooter" who goes to the fridge to get him a beer.
 

Jeeebus

Diamond Member
Aug 29, 2006
9,166
876
126
Originally posted by: GoatMonkey
Dogs are fun sometimes, but cats are much less of a pain in the ass to live with full time.

Imagine this situation. You're out with friends having dinner. You finish and someone says "hey, let's go do something else"... get drinks, watch a movie, whatever. The dog owner then says "I can't I left my dog inside and he needs to get out for a walk." Meanwhile, the cat owner is out partying, or whatever.

A dog is great fun for a weekend in the park playing frisbee, but the rest of the time it's not worth it. Somebody needs to start a dog rental business.
Imagine this situation. You're out with friends having dinner. You finish and someone you don't mind having dinner with, but otherwise don't want to spend an additional minute of time with, says "hey, let's go do something else"...

It's not the dog making us go home... it's you.
 

Anubis

No Lifer
Aug 31, 2001
78,716
414
126
Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy
Originally posted by: GDaddy
Dogs are like little boys
Cats are like women

Learning how to relate with one helps with the other
Cats can't get you laid...
neither can dogs


unless you are into beastality
 

Capt Caveman

Lifer
Jan 30, 2005
34,547
651
126
Originally posted by: Josh
Originally posted by: GoatMonkey
Dogs are fun sometimes, but cats are much less of a pain in the ass to live with full time.

Imagine this situation. You're out with friends having dinner. You finish and someone says "hey, let's go do something else"... get drinks, watch a movie, whatever. The dog owner then says "I can't I left my dog inside and he needs to get out for a walk." Meanwhile, the cat owner is out partying, or whatever.

A dog is great fun for a weekend in the park playing frisbee, but the rest of the time it's not worth it. Somebody needs to start a dog rental business.
It's called hiring a dog sitter. Or if you have a doggy door where the dog can let himself outside -no problem. Cats dont do anything but look pissed, dogs on the other hand will do a variety of different tricks to impress you. Like Mark Wahlberg's dog in "Shooter" who goes to the fridge to get him a beer.
Yep, dog door and fenced in backyard ftw!
 

KeithTalent

Elite Member | Administrator | No Lifer
Administrator
Nov 30, 2005
50,235
117
116
Originally posted by: Insane3D
I like both...sorry to break the trend.

:)
Same here and I don't understand all of the hate that goes in both directions.

KT
 

destrekor

Lifer
Nov 18, 2005
28,799
358
126
Originally posted by: Anubis
Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy
Originally posted by: GDaddy
Dogs are like little boys
Cats are like women

Learning how to relate with one helps with the other
Cats can't get you laid...
neither can dogs


unless you are into beastality
on the contrary, young dogs definitely CAN get a guy laid. Take a stroll through a park with your puppy, let the dog wander on a loose leash, especially when there are single women tanning or just hanging around. Works better on college campuses. Seen it work a few times when I've been hanging out by mirror lake or on the oval. Girl sees cute dog, dog likes girl and approaches, girl starts petting, probably asks a question about it, and there you go... conversation started. Now, okay... it may not get you laid but that puppy sure does get the ball rolling. :D
 

manowar821

Diamond Member
Mar 1, 2007
6,063
0
0
Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Originally posted by: Insane3D
I like both...sorry to break the trend.

:)
Same here and I don't understand all of the hate that goes in both directions.

KT
I do, as well, both make great pets/companions. My flames from the past are an expression of my distaste for dog-fanatics, not dogs themselves. They're assholes.
 

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