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Dog Dilemma

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gotsmack said:
Sorry bro, sounds like your wife is set on the dog. And the dog run sounds like she's going to let it out to poop in the yard instead of walking it. Guess who is going to be shoveling crap every weekend?

I might be wrong on the dog run, but if I'm not, that's incredibly lazy and unfair to the dog and you.
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A dog run isn't lazy, its practical to keep the dog's bathroom area contained. The dog goes on walks but not everytime it goes out. Also it has run of the whole backyard when we or the kids or out.

And yep, the husband will probably end up cleaning the yard, just like he takes out the trash. I will continue washing all his laundry (after being the one to pick it up), and all the othed things I do. Its just one of those things, he does x, y, ans z and I do a,b,c.
 
HydroSqueegee said:
A dog run isn't lazy, its practical to keep the dog's bathroom area contained. The dog goes on walks but not everytime it goes out. Also it has run of the whole backyard when we or the kids or out.

And yep, the husband will probably end up cleaning the yard, just like he takes out the trash. I will continue washing all his laundry (after being the one to pick it up), and all the othed things I do. Its just one of those things, he does x, y, ans z and I do a,b,c.
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I disagree. The dog run should only be used when you're at work and the dog has to empty itself. Otherwise it should be walked once in the morning and once at night. Dogs need consistency and discipline, which is partially done through the walks. If you don't have the time or will to do this, maybe you should rethink another animal. If you really want something, you should put in the time for it. But that is just my opinion.
 
gotsmack said:
I disagree. The dog run should only be used when you're at work and the dog has to empty itself. Otherwise it should be walked once in the morning and once at night. Dogs need consistency and discipline, which is partially done through the walks. If you don't have the time or will to do this, maybe you should rethink another animal. If you really want something, you should put in the time for it. But that is just my opinion.
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what is a dog run?

allowing a dog to only go to the bathroom when going for a walk that is scheduled for certain times of the day is not discipline it is cruelty. possibly has legal ramifications
 
HydroSqueegee said:
A dog run isn't lazy, its practical to keep the dog's bathroom area contained. The dog goes on walks but not everytime it goes out. Also it has run of the whole backyard when we or the kids or out.

And yep, the husband will probably end up cleaning the yard, just like he takes out the trash. I will continue washing all his laundry (after being the one to pick it up), and all the othed things I do. Its just one of those things, he does x, y, ans z and I do a,b,c.
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Maybe he wants his z to be kicking back, drinking a beer, and watching football. It sounds like surely he doesn't want his z to be picking up dog shit. How would you like it if he dictated what your c was and he knew you didn't like c?
 
norseamd said:
what is a dog run?

allowing a dog to only go to the bathroom when going for a walk that is scheduled for certain times of the day is not discipline it is cruelty. possibly has legal ramifications
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Dog run is a fenced off area where the dog is supposed to hang out when it wants to go outside unsupervised. lots of people just use it as an area for them to poop.

I didn't say that they can only go during the walk, but the walk has to happen every day at about a certain time. The dog just has to understand that if they don't go during the walk they don't get a second bonus evening walk, they'll just have to hang out with you in front of the house until they go.
 
HydroSqueegee said:
Wife: I don't really think of getting a dog is something I need to compensate or pay my husband for. I wash his laundry, pick up his clothes from the floor, do a miriad of things around the house that benefit him, he does stuff that benefits me, its a marriage we work together. He already has both tv's he wanted, up graded computer etc so I don't think financial compensation is really needed.
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IMO, this is pretty selfish. Yeah, you shouldn't necessarily feel like you "need" to compensate your husband for getting you a dog, but at the same time, you should WANT to compensate your husband for doing you a huge favor. You're asking for a 12+ year commitment, which includes money and time that he could spend doing and buying things he actually likes. Plus a constant level of anxiety over what the dog is going to pee on, poo on, chew on, or shed on next.

Someone once told me that everyone's goal in a marriage should be to try to give more than you take, and asking for an unwanted dog is taking. A lot.

Edit: Just read the post where you said husband will be expected to clean up the dog's poo. Really? You're trying to convince husband-who-does-not-want-a-dog and you're not even willing to take on all dog related responsibilities?
 
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gotsmack said:
Dog run is a fenced off area where the dog is supposed to hang out when it wants to go outside unsupervised. lots of people just use it as an area for them to poop. I didn't say that they can only go during the walk, but the walk has to happen every day at about a certain time. The dog just has to understand that if they don't go during the walk they don't get a second bonus evening walk, they'll just have to hang out with you in front of the house until they go.
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as long as the dog can outside in the yard at any time to go to the bathroom there are no need for additional walks
 
artemicion said:
IMO, this is pretty selfish. Yeah, you shouldn't necessarily feel like you "need" to compensate your husband for getting you a dog, but at the same time, you should WANT to compensate your husband for doing you a huge favor. You're asking for a 12+ year commitment, which includes money and time that he could spend doing and buying things he actually likes. Plus a constant level of anxiety over what the dog is going to pee on, poo on, chew on, or shed on next. Someone once told me that everyone's goal in a marriage should be to try to give more than you take, and asking for an unwanted dog is taking. A lot. Edit: Just read the post where you said husband will be expected to clean up the dog's poo. Really? You're trying to convince husband-who-does-not-want-a-dog and you're not even willing to take on all dog related responsibilities?
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ask the husband if he thinks there should be anything he should get in return. it will be a lot easier to have a dog if he feels lees likely to vent frustration or such over the dog
 
In my opinion this is all symptomatic of some underlying relationship/marital issues with the OP and wife.

No household can have 5+ animals unless EVERYONE is on board. Wifey as you know, there is much MUCH more to a dog than walking it to the bus stop and putting him in a dog run. MUCH more than scooping out a litterbox.

I love dogs. Our dog is a family member, a HUGE part of our life, and as a dog person I can really understand wanting a dog. But you guys already have 3 kids... 4 cats.... 3 bedrooms or 5 doesn't make much difference unless you're turning your home into a safari. This is a lot of animals by any standard.


If you end up with a problematic pup (very possible with 4 cats 3 young kids and a resentful husband) the problems will be tenfold.

Wifey, in my opinion you are being selfish. And this excuse about losing your last dog being heartbreaking to your 3 year old and 18 month old is.. A stretch. Heartbreaking to you, absolutely, but in my opinion you should stop pawning this entire thing off as "for the kids" and just admit that YOU selfishly want a dog. It's ok to be selfish, but buck up and admit you want a dog. This pup is going to have a hard enough time figuring out his leader/owner in your household as it is, last thing it needs is for you to have the mindset that it's not your dog when it very clearly is. And I really hope you aren't steering your 8 and 6 year old into "wanting a dog", as that's the impression I get with your posts.

If you all didn't have 4 cats already I would be 100% on the wifey's side. But 3 kids, 4 cats, now a dog... That's a LOT of animals and everyone needs to be on board to make it work.


Wifey: You need to accept that you can't always get what you want, when you are admittedly going to depend on your husband for help with taking care of the animals. Did he want the other 4 cats? Sounds like he didn't. So at what point are you going to be ok with having enough animals? Reading between the lines of your posts, there's an awful lot of direct emotional resentment and emotional negativity in response to your husband's logical opinions about not wanting a dog. In my opinion that needs resolved before you bring another dependent family member into your home.

Husband: Seriously, dogs aren't that bad. In my opinion the best way to handle this as man of the household might be to lay claim of the dog as yours. You research and pick out the breed, you handle training him, and you make it clear that there are no more animals in the house until you guys get down to two animals. Or else you'll end up like some of these other posters with 10+ animals that you're supporting. Nothing wrong with adoption/type stuff, but with 3 kids you need to make sure your family's priorities are straight. It won't be long until your youngest wants his own dog, then the middle kid wants a dog, next thing you know you're one of the posters in here with 10+++ animals and thousands of dollars a year dumped into associated costs.. On top of the mental stress.

You all are already in a very small minority of people who have 4 animals in the house. Through my life I've seen a number of family/friends in similar situations, and it NEVER stops at 4-5 animals. People either have 1-2-3 pets, or they seem to balloon into 10++ over just a few years.
 
OP just needs to man up and take control of the household. He already has 4 pets too many in his opinion and the wife doesn't give a shit about what he thinks regarding this matter. She wants a dog and isn't even willing to pick up the poop. That's a ridiculous lack of respect. F that, control your woman and lead the household already. Most pre-marriage counseling advises that you work out who gets the 51% on decision making prior to the marriage. I sure as hell hope you two discussed that beforehand because it's most likely going to come down to that with someone unhappy.

I'm with the husband on this one, does the wife seriously think this is a compromise? Who gives a dam if you do the womanly chores, it's been made clear that he's also pulling his weight on the manly chores. So chill out and accept that it's not the right time for a pet, especially a dog. You clearly haven't thought about a plan for even caring for the pet, evidenced by the lazy response that it'll sit alone on a run all day. 3 kids and 2 adults and no plan to even walk it once a day? A dog isn't for you; you want all of the benefits but none of the responsibility nor planning to care for it. Even more amazing is that you don't care what your husband thinks and he's supposed to just suck it up and do everything? BS he is. You're lucky you're not my wife.
 
I'd get the dog, a very small one from a rescue shelter.
Rescue shelters usually allow adoption on a trial basis.
And if it doesn't work out, they accept the dog back.
I've adopted two and of all the dogs I owned and raised from birth, the adopted ones were the best as far as house trained off the bat. And very grateful they have a home.
Especially the older senior pets/dogs that usually are not destructive.
Adopt a small, older rescue shelter dog and I'd bet you will end up the number one dog lover in the house.
 
HydroSqueegee said:
This is the wife: Really you would divorce your wife over a dog? That really makes me wonder aboht you marriage, do you have children? That just seems like a drastic measure to not get a dog.
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No kids, I don't care for them either. Luckily she has the same opinion in that issue.

I have no desire to live the rest of my life with a dog (or pets). I can't stand the sounds it makes, its constant need for attention, the hassle of dealing with it if we leave the house for more than a few hours. Lately I've opted to travel by myself than have to deal with the dog. Not to mention accidents. It took the stupid thing 2-3 years to house train and constantly being angry was not enjoyable. I agreed to the one and I will keep my word but no more. No, *I* wouldn't divorce my wife over a dog but there are only 2 ways that she will get another one-divorce or me dying.
Truth be told I don't hate her as much now that she's house broken but I find no value in having her.
 
Kick all the four legged critters outside. Send the two legged ones outside for most of the day too while your at it.

Then you can have as many dogs and cats as your acreage will support.
 
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I think OP's wife is being incredibly selfish. A dog requires a lot of work, especially if you want it to be safe around your children and others. If OP isn't in to it, the dog won't have his place in the pack and be unpredictable. Not to mention, a puppy requires a lot of time invested initially to get them situated.
 
HydroSqueegee said:
This is the wife: Really you would divorce your wife over a dog? That really makes me wonder aboht you marriage, do you have children? That just seems like a drastic measure to not get a dog.
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I just want to point out, that the issue here is not "the dog". "The dog" just so happens to be the thorn at the moment, but you two have some other issues that need worked out...


Just my opinion... but maybe spend the dog money on some couples counseling. You both seem to need it.
 
smackababy said:
I think OP's wife is being incredibly selfish. A dog requires a lot of work, especially if you want it to be safe around your children and others. If OP isn't in to it, the dog won't have his place in the pack and be unpredictable. Not to mention, a puppy requires a lot of time invested initially to get them situated.
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Having just gotten a puppy, I'll attest to this. You can't just "get and forget"... it requires CONSTANT attention, care, and training. It is indeed very stressful for me, and my only other commitment is to my girlfriend.
 
Linflas said:
Getting rid of 2 of the 4 cats is "fair" how? Given the absolute numbers of unwanted cats and dogs put down daily in this country what you are really saying is kill 2 of the 4 cats to get a dog. As for mixing cats and dogs in the same environment there is no reason they can't get along if introduced properly. We have 8 cats and 4 dogs and they all get along just fine.
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Wait until two+ of the cats die of natural causes, and then get a dog.

That's my plan, anyway. I want a dog, but if I brought one into the house my cat would drop dead of a heart attack straightaway.
 
norseamd said:
as long as the dog can outside in the yard at any time to go to the bathroom there are no need for additional walks
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The walk isn't just about using the bathroom. It's about bonding time, exercise, learning how to behave in the outside world and around strangers/other dogs.

Kind of difficult to teach it these things at home unless you always have new people and pets coming over to your house. I don't want to hear any BS about the dog exercising itself, because it won't. I will accept that the OP might get a breed that doesn't need much exercise though.
 
OP, honestly how well behaved are your children? If they're a bit on the unruly side maybe they need more attention from both parents?

Have your kids make a list of things they want to do together with you and the wife. If there are items on that list, then you don't have time for new pets. Your kids need you more.
 
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