does this sentence make sense?

[Lithium381]

sounds fine to me......how correct it is is beyond me....

 

[fr]

It sounds better to me with the "I."

 

[Krugger]

Originally posted by: dolph
"As I proceed in life, I am ecstatic about accepting new challenges and I welcome the responsibilities they include."

works for me, you could even change include to entail if you want.

 

[SuperSix]

I don't like it.

 

[Mean MrMustard]

Originally posted by: notfred
WTF is a "reasonability"?

Sounds like a bushism to me.

It is a real word though. It sounds good with or with out the "I".

 

[Jittles]

You need to change the "I am ecstatic....and I welcome." They need to be the same form ( i forget the word ). One is passive, one is active, that is why the sentence sounds weird. "I love accepting challenges and I welcome..."

That would be correct although the "I love" isn't right I just can't think of another word.


OR


I am ecstatic in accepting new challenges and I am welcoming the responsibilities those challenges assume.
____
I am ecstatic _ in accepting new challenges AND in welcoming the responsibilities those challenges assume. <-------- This or something similar would be best I think.

GOD I am having writers block. Obviously "I am welcoming" isn't right but I'll be damned if I can think of the word I am looking for.

 

[Kadarin]

Damn.. why the hell is this thread still going?

As I travel down the tulip-scented garden path we humans like to call "life", I find myself overcome with rapture at the new challenges I joyfully accept, and I welcome with open arms each and every new responsibility coming from those challenges.

Naw, that sounds bad too.

 

[Tallgeese]

The main secret to kick-ass writing is.....*drum roll*

VERBS!

Always use real verbs (which connote "action")...not watered down forms of "be" (which connote "inaction")

Instead of: As I proceed in life, I am ecstatic in accepting new challenges, and welcome the reasonabilities it assumes.
Try this: I ecstatically accept new challenges, and welcome the additional responsibilities they bring.

BTW: As I proceed in life is unnecessary. If you aren't "proceed[ing] in life," you're dead. Ergo: you can't be accepting jack sh1t.

 

[Tallgeese]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Damn.. why the hell is this thread still going?

As I travel down the tulip-scented garden path we humans like to call "life", I find myself overcome with rapture at the new challenges I joyfully accept, and I welcome with open arms each and every new responsibility coming from those challenges.

Naw, that sounds bad too.

Kinda sounds like grasshopper if ya ask me.

 

[Mustangrrl]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: spankyOO7
As I proceed in life, I am ecstatic in accepting new challenges, and welcome the reasonabilities it assumes.

would it be better if it said...

As I proceed in life, I am ecstatic in accepting new challenges, and I welcome the reasonabilities it assumes.

do i need the extra "I" before "welcome"?

If we change the sentence to:

As I proceed in life, I am ecstatic in accepting new challenges, and (I) welcome the responsibilities it assumes. (with the "I" being optional)

What is the "it" you're talking about? Life? Either way, the sentence is awkward. "Ecstatic" is too strong a word given the tone of the sentence, and "as I proceed in life" almost sounds like corporate doublespeak.

As I get older, I look forward to accepting new challenges and responsibilities. Good writing isn't always about being as "flowery" as possible; simplicity can be a virtue.

I think your new sentence is as good as this is gonna get! Ooh, smart boy