Does this seem wrong to you?

[Leros]

When I went off to college this fall, my mom was very emotional about the whole deal. She cried for days before I left. She kept saying how much she was going to miss me and repeatedly asked me when I was coming home to visit. She never once wished me good luck or offered me any advice. She never asked me anything about college or my classes. She only complained about how much she was going to miss me.

I talk to my dad on the phone quite a bit. We get along really well and have pretty good conversations. I hate calling my mom because the only thing she talks about is how she misses me. She cries and repeatedly says how much she misses me and asks me when I am coming home to visit. I'll try to shift the conversation to my classes or her life but she interrupts me and repeats the same old crap about how much she misses me.

She has not expressed any interest in my life. She has never asked me anything about college. I'm not even sure she even knows exactly what my major is. It seems to me that she only cares about me to the extent that I affect her. Maybe its the immature 18 year old in me, but it seems that she is being extremely selfish.

What do you guys think?

 

[Kirby]

She'll get over it. Tell her to quit her bitchin' or you'll put her in a nursing home when she's 50.

 

[RichardE]

You are her offspring, she has a strong emotional bond to you. I'm guessing you got babied quite a bit by her from her reaction. It would be like you loving a girl than her leaving all of a sudden one day after 18 years and calling you selfish because you were sad she left. Love is love.

 

[imthebadguy]

tell her to have a coke and a smile...

 

[DainBramaged]

Originally posted by: imthebadguy
tell her to snort coke and smile...

:thumbsup:

 

[Schadenfreude]

That's how she works. Nothing you can do to change that.

[/story]

 

[toolboxolio]

Originally posted by: Schadenfreude
That's how she works. Nothing you can do to change that.

[/story]

Nah, just get your dad to beat her, OP.[[

If history is any indication of how to change a person to your liking, then beating her will do the trick.

The trick these days is to beat in a manner that does not raise questions. However, if you know that the beating that you are going to inflict will leave visual marks, make it look like they came from an accident. Like she fell down the stairs, hit her nose on a door, was playing a friendly game of catch that went wrong or a bedroom accident (wink wink). You know.... standard stuff.

I am hear to help, so I hope it works out for you.



You have private mail.
AnandTech Moderator

 

[KLin]

Originally posted by: toolboxolio

Originally posted by: Schadenfreude
That's how she works. Nothing you can do to change that.

[/story]

Nah, just get your dad to beat her, OP.[[

If history is any indication of how to change a person to your liking, then beating her will do the trick.

The trick these days is to beat in a manner that does not raise questions. However, if you know that the beating that you are going to inflict will leave visual marks, make it look like they came from an accident. Like she fell down the stairs, hit her nose on a door, was playing a friendly game of catch that went wrong or a bedroom accident (wink wink). You know.... standard stuff.

I am hear to help, so I hope it works out for you.

Quoted for ban :roll:

 

[KLin]

Originally posted by: Leros
When I went off to college this fall, my mom was very emotional about the whole deal. She cried for days before I left. She kept saying how much she was going to miss me and repeatedly asked me when I was coming home to visit. She never once wished me good luck or offered me any advice. She never asked me anything about college or my classes. She only complained about how much she was going to miss me.

I talk to my dad on the phone quite a bit. We get along really well and have pretty good conversations. I hate calling my mom because the only thing she talks about is how she misses me. She cries and repeatedly says how much she misses me and asks me when I am coming home to visit. I'll try to shift the conversation to my classes or her life but she interrupts me and repeats the same old crap about how much she misses me.

She has not expressed any interest in my life. She has never asked me anything about college. I'm not even sure she even knows exactly what my major is. It seems to me that she only cares about me to the extent that I affect her. Maybe its the immature 18 year old in me, but it seems that she is being extremely selfish.

What do you guys think?

She wasn't ready to cut the apron strings. She'll get over you being gone over time.

 

[nycxandy]

Time will help.

 

[imported_Ned Flanders]

Maybe you Dad is beating her? I'll throw it out there.

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

Originally posted by: toolboxolio
Nah, just get your dad to beat her, OP.[[

If history is any indication of how to change a person to your liking, then beating her will do the trick.

The trick these days is to beat in a manner that does not raise questions. However, if you know that the beating that you are going to inflict will leave visual marks, make it look like they came from an accident. Like she fell down the stairs, hit her nose on a door, was playing a friendly game of catch that went wrong or a bedroom accident (wink wink). You know.... standard stuff.

I am hear to help, so I hope it works out for you.

That sh1t isn't funny.

QFB.

 

[toolboxolio]

Originally posted by: MmmSkyscraper

Originally posted by: toolboxolio
Nah, just get your dad to beat her, OP.[[

If history is any indication of how to change a person to your liking, then beating her will do the trick.

The trick these days is to beat in a manner that does not raise questions. However, if you know that the beating that you are going to inflict will leave visual marks, make it look like they came from an accident. Like she fell down the stairs, hit her nose on a door, was playing a friendly game of catch that went wrong or a bedroom accident (wink wink). You know.... standard stuff.

I am hear to help, so I hope it works out for you.

That sh1t isn't funny.

QFB.

sheesh, thought the discussion was over and that OP's mom simply needed time to adjust.

thought I would bring in a little banter to give a good read. won't make that mistake again.

how could you guys think I was serious? lighten up.

 

[KLin]

Originally posted by: toolboxolio

Originally posted by: MmmSkyscraper

Originally posted by: toolboxolio
Nah, just get your dad to beat her, OP.[[

If history is any indication of how to change a person to your liking, then beating her will do the trick.

The trick these days is to beat in a manner that does not raise questions. However, if you know that the beating that you are going to inflict will leave visual marks, make it look like they came from an accident. Like she fell down the stairs, hit her nose on a door, was playing a friendly game of catch that went wrong or a bedroom accident (wink wink). You know.... standard stuff.

I am hear to help, so I hope it works out for you.

That sh1t isn't funny.

QFB.

sheesh, thought the discussion was over and that OP's mom simply needed time to adjust.

thought I would bring in a little banter to give a good read. won't make that mistake again.

how could you guys think I was serious? lighten up.

1. you're a noob
2. you can't tell from what a person is typing if he/she is being facetious most of the time.
3. lack of emoticons
4. ...
5. NO PROFIT FOR YOU!! :roll:

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

Originally posted by: toolboxolio
how could you guys think I was serious? lighten up.

I didn't think you were being serious but it's not "banter" material either. Get a clue.

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: Ned Flanders
Maybe you Dad is beating her? I'll throw it out there.

holey frijoles...you people don't fk around:Q

 

[Captante]

Change is scary & you leaving was apparently a biggie for mom .... the mistake you are making is looking at it from your point of view, look at it from hers & again realize that what she is, is afraid & theres nothing rational about that, so a rational solution won't work. Try comforting her & telling her how much you love her & miss her too (exaggerate a bit if you must) then talk with her about some stuff you guys will do together when you do come back to visit & try to end the conversation with her thinking about that. I know its tough, but right now is one of the first times in your life (they'll be more, trust me!) when you need to be the parent and tell your little girl (mom) its alright & that you love her... they'll be plenty of time for the adult relationship later & it'll be a better one if you take the high road now & be more understanding.

No matter how big you get, you'll always be her baby & nobody in the world will ever love you as much as she does .... cherish that because it won't last forever!

 

[judasmachine]

Does sound like she's being overly selfish. Don't answer her, just tell her how your life is doing, if she likes it, great. If not, oh well.

 

[theprodigalrebel]

WTH? It's your mom man. She's telling you she loves you and you are all, "She doesn't ask me about college"

Compare that with kids whose parents talk about classes, the team and GPAs all the time. I know that comparison is probably a little extreme but love is love. 'Selfish' and 'mother' are two words that don't belong in a sentence.

 

[BillyBatson]

just live your life the only way you know how and things will fall into place. if she wants to be a part of your life she will come around and ask you about it

 

[j00fek]

i dont see anything wrong with this

 

[FoBoT]

Originally posted by: Leros

What do you guys think?

i don't think that is normal, she needs to let go/grow up

 

[jjones]

Originally posted by: toolboxolio

Originally posted by: MmmSkyscraper

Originally posted by: toolboxolio
Nah, just get your dad to beat her, OP.[[

If history is any indication of how to change a person to your liking, then beating her will do the trick.

The trick these days is to beat in a manner that does not raise questions. However, if you know that the beating that you are going to inflict will leave visual marks, make it look like they came from an accident. Like she fell down the stairs, hit her nose on a door, was playing a friendly game of catch that went wrong or a bedroom accident (wink wink). You know.... standard stuff.

I am hear to help, so I hope it works out for you.

That sh1t isn't funny.

QFB.

sheesh, thought the discussion was over and that OP's mom simply needed time to adjust.

thought I would bring in a little banter to give a good read. won't make that mistake again.

how could you guys think I was serious? lighten up.

This is ATOT where sarcasm and tongue in cheek humor is generally only afforded to certain non PC topics. Dare to find humor in anything viewed as requiring a PC attitude and the righteous come out of the woodwork.

 

[Chiboy]

Originally posted by: KLin

Originally posted by: toolboxolio

Originally posted by: Schadenfreude
That's how she works. Nothing you can do to change that.

[/story]

Nah, just get your dad to beat her, OP.[[

If history is any indication of how to change a person to your liking, then beating her will do the trick.

The trick these days is to beat in a manner that does not raise questions. However, if you know that the beating that you are going to inflict will leave visual marks, make it look like they came from an accident. Like she fell down the stairs, hit her nose on a door, was playing a friendly game of catch that went wrong or a bedroom accident (wink wink). You know.... standard stuff.

I am hear to help, so I hope it works out for you.

Quoted for ban :roll:

This doesnt seem like a bannable offense... I think he was trying to be funny?

 

[funboy6942]

Moms are different then dads, Im a dad I can speak. Moms are loving and caring and your her little baby. In her mind you were NEVER to leave. You were to stay at home for ever and she can protect you, care for you, change your diaper and feed you, and you got up and left the nest. That tears a hole in a woman. They dont care why you left, where your going, what your doing, YOU LEFT HER is all she sees and she doesnt know why, well she knows why but the mommy mother in her doesnt want to come to reality, she is still stuck on, my new born who was juct sucking peacefully on my teet while I was rocking him to sleep just woke up, stood up, and walked off without saying goodbye, WHY LORD WHY!

Dads on the other hand YES are unhappy you left but also know, and are damn glad, you have to move on. But on the other hand image what he is going through. You get that on the phone when you call he gets it all the time with a woman stuck in mommy mode still confused as to why your gone and Im sure has to deal with WHY LORD WHY, and crying all day 24/7, then after you call and he has her sorta calmed down starts in all over again.

I think you really need to have a heart to heart talk with your mother, she still thinks your her baby, she doesnt want to face reality and you may need to slap it across her face, sorry just being blunt here, Tell her you love her, tell her you understand that your her baby but the baby got to leave sometime and grow up and learn on his own, got to become a man. Tell her Im sure you wouldnt want me to live with you all the time for the rest of your life, un-educated, mooching off you two, and when your gone cant take care of myself or my own family if I so choose to get one. Something to this effect to kinda wake her up your no longer that infant sucking on the teet no more, somewhere in those 18 years you grew up, she didnt see it, but you did, and you need to not move away from it because in a way she is wanting to here this from you as she keeps bringing it up when you call. She needs to hear it from you that your a man now, this is what you have to do, you have no clue when you be coming home, talk this over with your father first and tell him what your about to do because shes gonna go two ways. Wake up and hate you for about a week, or totally flip out and hate you for about 10-15 years, either case your old man should be warned that your going to talk to her, and why your going to talk to her. Im sure he will be happy that you will be and maybe get some peace around the house in a few days.

But its going to be hard for all of you, it needs to be done, she needs a wake up call, afterwards when its all out in the open she will slowly come around and start to take intrest in what your doing with your life. I hope this helped and it made sense