Does it matter what color kids your kids play with?

[b0mbrman]

*puts on flame underwear and matching suspenders, bow tie*

I visited home the other weekend and sat around listening to my aunts and uncles talk since I'm at that awkward age where I'm too old for the kids, and only slightly too young for the adults...

Anyway, their conversation turned to two of my male cousins. They said one of the brothers turned out good and went to a good school (UCLA) because of he hung out with only caucasians and Asians growing up (or as they say "Whites and Orientals&quot. Then, they continued to say that the other brother turned out bad and did nothing after high school because he hung out with only blacks and Mexicans growing up.

This is where I interjected and told them that such a statement was racist. I told myself that I hated them all for being racists...

Well, what do you think of what they said? Does it matter what kind of people your kids hang out with? Do any of you parents monitor the race of your kids' friends?

Personally, I think that racism is the worst crime anyhone can commit and all racists should be given the death penalty or *worse*.

 

[CattyKathy]

My parents doesn't say much about the race issue... it's more like if I were to hang out with the people that has good grades, I'd have good grades too... that's jsut BS... I get bad grades cuz I do, it doesn't matter who I hang out with... true that a lot of people that I hang out with have only OK grades, but that doesn't mean anything... hanging out with the people that has all A's won't make me have all A's too...

One of my friend, she got all A's except for one, which was a B+, I don't see that I'm getting those kinda of grades, wish that I would but...

whatever, the kids have their own minds, they know what to do and what not to do...

 

[PuterWiz]

Thats just freaked up, but it does matter what kind of people, but not what race, just what mentality.

 

[b0mbrman]

My parents think the same as yours' then.

Then again, it's hard to imagine not at least *trying* harder when all your friends had parents who'd beat them if they didn't get straight A's...

 

[FrontlineWarrior]

personally, i wouldn't want my adoslescent child hanging around cross dressers, satanists, or flaming homosexuals. kids are too impressionable. so sue me.

 

[b0mbrman]

Puter: Exactly! I mean come on now, what about all those kids who grow up in areas where there's no one to hang out with except for blacks? Does that mean that everyone from those high schools are gonna turn out bad? The answer is no.

To answer yes would be stupid and racist.

 

[zmatrix]

Unfortunately, sometimes stereotypical judgements that are made do have some truth behind it. Suppose they were referring to the blacks or mexicans that the one kid hung around were living in the so-called high incidence areas like the Rampart district or areas in Comptom and Inglewood. Chances are, that kid WILL grow up turning sour. People who grew up in those neighborhoods know how tough it is and the chances of a kid going bad are high.

If you have ever driven through black or mexican neighborhoods versus asian or white neighborhoods, which ones USUALLY looks more kept and clean? Do you see a lot of grafitti or trashed up homes in black or mexican communities or do you see them more in asian or white communities? Which neighborhood do you feel safer to walk through?

I think we can talk about racism all we want but I think in truth itself, somewhere, subconsciously you know why you avoid certain areas, because you avoid the people in that area.

True, race doesn't determine crooks, cheats, rapists, nor murderers, but when you have some neighborhoods so saturated with gangs and crime, you can't help but notice the majority of the types of people in that neighborhood to make that judgement.

Point is...racism sucks and I believe most of us do not want to be one, but somewhere deep down inside, there's a bit of it in some form.

 

[b0mbrman]

Look, racism is based on whimsical fancy and *hate* and stupidity! Ask anyone! Therefore, there is *no* truth in prejudice.

 

[b0mbrman]

Look, I might end up living in the LA area and I'd be totally indifferent between living in Beverly Hills (a predominantly white area) and South Central (A predominantly black area) because I'm *not* racist, thank you very much

 

[tom3]

Hey there Mario.

I respectfully disagree, but hear me out, please.

Lets first disregard the skin color of people and their ethnic backgrounds. I firmly believe it matters a whole lot what kind of kids your kids hang around with. You can't honestly think that peer pressure does not exist in adolecents? or that the environment would have no influence on kids? Do you think the same kid would turn out differently if his circle of friends are law abiding, good natured and intelligent, versus if his pals frequently challenge the authority, run in trouble with the law, and think smoking and doing drugs make you cool? There is definitely a difference!

A person's childhood and teenage years are what molds him/her. In this period when they are looking to define themselves, learn about the world, try to fit in and be liked, of course the nature of their peers make a difference. Don't you think? If all your closest friends think it's dumb not to go to college, you'd probably end up going to college. On the other hand, if all your friends think it's dumb not to do drugs, you'd probably end up doing drugs. The truth is, your friends have one of the greatest impact in your life, especially when you are young.

That's argument 1, saying that it matters what type of kids your kids hang around with.



Now comes argument 2, and this is gonna be more controversial..

First and foremost, I strongly detest racism. I believe racists are ignorant, narrow-minded, arrogant, foolish, and just plain wrong. That being said, I would have to argue for your relatives and say that they were not making a racist remark when they talked about your cousins. They were simply making an observation, if an overly-generalized one at that. I dont think saying "kids who hang out with whites and asians turn out good, and those who hang out with blacks and hispanics turn out bad" is a correct statement. But perhaps it just so happens that in your relatives' neighborhood, the latter are the ones with behavioral problems.

For the purpose of the argument, lets just say that my argument #1 stands, and the kids who hang around problematic kids have a greater chance of turning out problematic. Now if it so happens that in this neighborhood, black and hispanic kids are the ones that are more problematic, then one would logically conclude that kids who hang around black and hispanic kids have a greater chance of becoming problematic. As hard as it might be to comprehend, this is not a racial observation. It is an behavioral observation. We're not making a judgement based on the skin color or the ethnic background of these kids, but based on their behaviors.

My challenge to you is this, if the situation was reversed, and white and asian kids are much more problematic than black and hispanic kids in their neighborhood, and your relatives make the observational remark "cousin #1 turned out good and went to college because he mostly hung around blacks and hispanics, and cousin #2 turned out bad because he hung around whites and asians". Do you still take offense in that? Do you think it is a racist remark?



[edit for typo]

 

[Carbo]

<< Look, I might end up living in the LA area and I'd be totally indifferent between living in Beverly Hills (a predominantly white area) and South Central (A predominantly black area) because I'm *not* racist, thank you very much >>

Man, that's pure fantasy! You need to be introduced to the real world if you think the environment you're in does not affect your way of thinking. Well, I guess it's time for the liberals to put down their intellectual tomes on dealing with White guilt and begin the name calling......

 

[Woodie]

Ooohhh. Now this is an interesting topic, which hits close to home.

I would venture to say that we (my wife and I) are not racist, but we are &quot;white&quot;. However: In our neighborhood, there are three families whose kids paly with my (very) young son. Two are &quot;white&quot;, and one is &quot;black&quot;. It so happens that the socio-economis statuses are two have two-parent households, with both parents working, and one is a single-parent, living with Grandma, parent works, but doesn't make enough to afford the neighborhood w/o living w/ Grandma. And yes, the two families are the &quot;white&quot; ones, and the other one is the &quot;black&quot; one.

We've had several incidents of kids taking our toys--always the same kid, from the single-parent home. So now, those kids are only allowed to play at our house, if either my wife or I are actually outside, supervising closely. We also haven't invited these kids inside to play, which we have done with the others.

Now, are we being racist because we don't &quot;trust&quot; (treat them differently) these &quot;black&quot; kids?














What about if you change the ethnic labels above, so say....&quot;Italian&quot; and &quot;Mexican&quot;?

--Woodie

 

[GasX]

<< Look, racism is based on whimsical fancy and *hate* and stupidity! Ask anyone! Therefore, there is *no* truth in prejudice. >>


Sadly, this is not true.

 

[pulse8]

It has nothing to do with their color. It has everything to do with how the kids behave. I think it just happened to be that the kids your cousin was hanging out with were black and mexican, but it definitely could've affected where he was going in life. The same could've happened with white folks, but it's not the case here. White and asian people have bad crowds to hang out in as well.

 

[zmatrix]

I have had hispanic friends whom their families themselves would avoid other hispanics simply for fear that their kids would turn out like that chollos/chollas of that neighborhood. My one friend's father moved them out of the ghetto neighborhoods, which are predominantly hispanic, so that his kids wouldn't have to face these &quot;so-called&quot; problems that people in general, create the racial profiling from.

From I have seen and heard from others, when a neighborhood is &quot;invaded&quot; by blacks and hispanics, most of the time, the neighborhood goes bad. If you just look in the neighborhoods with heavily concentrated blacks and hispanics, you will see statistically that there are crimes that occur there more so than in a white neighborhood or asian neighborhood.

I am sure that where some of you grew, you did not have to hear, see, or experience any of this or are only limited to some instances. But when you live in a area with heavy ethnic diversity, you do see more and experience more. So there is a certain validity to the statements although they are general.

Look, I might end up living in the LA area and I'd be totally indifferent between living in Beverly Hills (a predominantly white area) and South Central (A predominantly black area) because I'm *not* racist, thank you very
much

Again, no one decent wants to be racist, but you can't tell me that you don't have any preconcieved notions in living near those neighborhoods. So why not live in south central if you are *not* racist? Why live only in-between? My point is that it is not about racism, it is about the facts, the facts that in general, those neighborhoods are bad, and are unfortunately composed of blacks and hispanics. And you would want to avoid raising your children around there because it takes a certain toughness to put up with all that.

 

[b0mbrman]

Hiya Tom3 and others...

Yeah, a lot of what I said was sarcasm because I think people who are too extremely anti-racist are stupid too...

It would be pretty foolish of us if we didn't think stereotypes were based on some fact. It's not like there's a guy sitting in his basement late at night wondering what kinds of false attributes he can put on people. And even then, what about the people who base their stereotypes on actual published statistics? Can you really tell them that their beliefs are all a bunch of lies?

Bah, let's keep this discussion alive. I've always been ambiuguous about this. I myself have two little brothers and they each have totally different sets of friends and I can't help but think that one's better grades might have something to do with the kids he associates with.

 

[BoberFett]

Your thread title and body don't jive.

Does it matter what color kids your kids play with? No.

Does it matter what kind of kids your kids play with? Absolutely.

I will not allow my daughter to associate with a bunch of black gangbangers just to promote &quot;racial understanding&quot;. I will allow her to play with black kids whose families have similar values to mine.

 

[amdforlife]

birds of a feather flock together. your cousin hung out w/ the type of people he related to. everyones impressionable by there friends somewhat. it would be ignorant to say someone isnt at all sued from one side or another, by there friends opionions. thats the way society works. but yeah, your family is racist.

 

[b0mbrman]

Your thread title and body don't jive.

Yawp, I wanted to delay the amount of time it took to get this thread locked. Now it's changed and all bets are off

 

[StormRider]

Well said BoberFett..

 

[Pepsi90919]

no, of course not

 

[b0mbrman]

I will not allow my daughter to associate with a bunch of black gangbangers just to promote &quot;racial understanding&quot;. I will allow her to play with black kids whose families have similar values to mine.

What if she just came home one day and said &quot;My boyfriend's black&quot; and then ran up to her room before you could ask more questions. Would you react in the same manner as if she said &quot;My boyfriend's white&quot; or &quot;My boyfriend's Asian?&quot;

 

[aimn]

You are attracted..........to what you are.

 

[b0mbrman]

Ahhh. So the friends a kid has is the end, not the means?

note: I'm using friends in place of &quot;racial composition of friends&quot; so that question is still grammatically correct

 

[troglodytis]

it ABSOLUTELY matters!!!

the color on those purple kids can bleed off in the washer and then all the sudden all you kids are a light puke-ish purple color. who wants purple kids?!