Does anyone want to help me write an ode to my sh!tty minivan?

[Orsorum]

My van is a 1992 Dodge minivan, 146,000 miles, with a crowbar-indent under the drivers' side handle, some trim missing on the passenger sliding door, and numerous key marks. It still runs, though, and it's taken me many places. Can someone help me write an ode to such a remarkable piece of machinery?

 

[Zenmervolt]

A Haiku for it.

Old Dodge Caravan
Transmission shortly will fail
You will be walking

ZV

 

[KLin]

your vehicle sucks donkey balls.

/end of thread

 

[alien42]

Originally posted by: Orsorum
My van is a 1992 Dodge minivan, 146,000 miles, with a crowbar-indent under the drivers' side handle, some trim missing on the passenger sliding door, and numerous key marks. It still runs, though, and it's taken me many places. Can someone help me write an ode to such a remarkable piece of machinery?

nice, my truck was totalled last night so ive got a rental and they "upgraded" me to a white dodge minivan

 

[Wallydraigle]

Like the Pyramids,
Enduring, no matter what,
You too will live on.

 

[amol]

do your brake lights work?

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Amol
do your brake lights work?

I think so. However, the middle brakelight (on the glass portion of the tailgate) doesn't work and the license plate light doesn't work.

 

[neonerd]

Oh sh!tty van, oh sh!ttyvan,
your creaking makes me scream
your sliding doors, are rusty sh!ts
with numerous key, marks!

and with orsorum
you, will ride
into the land of trim

get sliding doors,
that really work
and a motor that actually runs
what you do now
is not real work
but simply an excuse

 

[Rogue]

Piece of $hit van,
I got a piece of $hit van,
That fvcking pile of $hit,
Doesn't get me very far.....

Modified slightly from the original Adam Sandler ode to his car

 

[myusername]

Thou ravish'd bride of sheet metal,
Thou foster-child of rattles and oxidation,
Detroit historian, who canst thus express
A bitter tale more sweetly than our rhyme:
What key-besmirch'd legend haunts about thy shape
Of vandals or thieves, or of both,
In Seattle or the dales of UW?

 

[EyeMWing]

I have a van on that body - is yours the Mitsubisi engine/trans, or the mopar engine/trans? The Mitsus are nice, the mopars suck.

 

[myusername]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing
I have a van on that
body - is yours
the Mitsubisi engine/
trans,
or the mopar
engine/
trans?
The Mitsus are nice,
the mopars
suck.

 

[IGBT]

..the not so chitty..chitty mini van..has dragged my chitty arse to and fro with hardly a ...there. I got ya started. Now do the rest.

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing
I have a van on that body - is yours the Mitsubisi engine/trans, or the mopar engine/trans? The Mitsus are nice, the mopars suck.

IIRC it's on its second transmission. So probably the Mopar.

ZV

 

[myusername]

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
          I
                             IR
  C
it's on                                    its
             second

transmission.

                               So

probably



  the Mopar.

ZV

 

[mattyrug]

Originally posted by:
EyeMWing I have a van on that body - is yours the Mitsubisi engine/trans, or the mopar engine/trans? The Mitsus are nice, the mopars suck.

Actually the 3.0 Mitsubishis were supposedly the worst (Water Pumps, but the engines never were much trouble, it's those damn A604/41TE, or any of the 4 speed Transmissions. 41TE stands for Terribly Engineered. I've got a '95 Grand with the 3.3/4spd 190,000 Miles on the original Tranny, and any day it's gonna do the shift of death.

 

[myusername]

)

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: myusername

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
I
IR
C
it's on its
second

transmission.

So

probably



the Mopar.

ZV

I'm not ee comings damnit.

ZV

 

[amol]

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: Amol
do your brake lights work?

I think so. However, the middle brakelight (on the glass portion of the tailgate) doesn't work and the license plate light doesn't work.

haha, no, search "RAGE" in OT . . . you'll get the "joke"

 

[thedarkwolf]

Originally posted by: mattyrug

Originally posted by:
EyeMWing I have a van on that body - is yours the Mitsubisi engine/trans, or the mopar engine/trans? The Mitsus are nice, the mopars suck.

Actually the 3.0 Mitsubishis were supposedly the worst (Water Pumps, but the engines never were much trouble, it's those damn A604/41TE, or any of the 4 speed Transmissions. 41TE stands for Terribly Engineered. I've got a '95 Grand with the 3.3/4spd 190,000 Miles on the original Tranny, and any day it's gonna do the shift of death.

The 3.0l mitsu is crap. Anytime you see a mopar going down the road smoking you can almost guarantee it has a 3.0l in it. I have an 89 2.5l turbo caravan with the good old reliable 3 speed a413 trans. I did rebuild it but when you add 50ish hp and 70ish ft-lbs of torque to a 140k mile trans you have to expect that.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Amol

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: Amol
do your brake lights work?

I think so. However, the middle brakelight (on the glass portion of the tailgate) doesn't work and the license plate light doesn't work.

haha, no, search "RAGE" in OT . . . you'll get the "joke"

lol Oh, that probably helps the question make more sense.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Rogue
Piece of $hit van,
I got a piece of $hit van,
That fvcking pile of $hit,
Doesn't get me very far.....

Modified slightly from the original Adam Sandler ode to his car

lol Thank you for the homage to the original.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: myusername
Thou ravish'd bride of sheet metal,
Thou foster-child of rattles and oxidation,
Detroit historian, who canst thus express
A bitter tale more sweetly than our rhyme:
What key-besmirch'd legend haunts about thy shape
Of vandals or thieves, or of both,
In Seattle or the dales of UW?

Bwahahaha! I love it! "The dales of UW"!

 

[radioouman]

Originally posted by: thedarkwolf

Originally posted by: mattyrug

Originally posted by:
EyeMWing I have a van on that body - is yours the Mitsubisi engine/trans, or the mopar engine/trans? The Mitsus are nice, the mopars suck.

Actually the 3.0 Mitsubishis were supposedly the worst (Water Pumps, but the engines never were much trouble, it's those damn A604/41TE, or any of the 4 speed Transmissions. 41TE stands for Terribly Engineered. I've got a '95 Grand with the 3.3/4spd 190,000 Miles on the original Tranny, and any day it's gonna do the shift of death.

The 3.0l mitsu is crap. Anytime you see a mopar going down the road smoking you can almost guarantee it has a 3.0l in it. I have an 89 2.5l turbo caravan with the good old reliable 3 speed a413 trans. I did rebuild it but when you add 50ish hp and 70ish ft-lbs of torque to a 140k mile trans you have to expect that.

Parents had an 89 Grand Caravan with the 3.0l Mitsubishi engine and the 4 speed auto. THey got rid of it when it had 120,000 miles. At that point, it had two engines and five different transmissions. Each transmission lasted approx. 20,000 miles.

I have a 93 Dakota with the 3.9 V6 and a 4 speed auto. The tranny isn't much good, but the engine keeps on running. ALmost 180,000 miles now.

 

[EyeMWing]

Mine is the '89 with the 2.5L turbo Mitsu. Yes, the 3.0 sucks goats. Be back later, driving.