I want to like Christmas, I really do. In fact, it would make my wife deliriously happy if I liked Christmas. But the fact of the matter is, I don't. To the contrary, I pretty much hate the holiday/season/whatever, and everything about it. Outlined below are a few of the reasons I dislike this time of year. Admittedly some are better than others, but at a minimum I think all are at least valid points.
#1 Xmas starts too damn early - it is at the end of December people - it is simply wrong to start playing "white christmas" over and over in stores the day after halloween.
#2 Pretty much everything about the holiday is a giant falsehood. You know what kids, forget what I said about telling the truth because Santa is REAL! Also - that mound of presents is representative of the three gifts some dudes who might have existed long ago might have had. Jesus wasn't really born on December 25 (we conscripted the date of a pagan holiday), but don't worry about that!
#3 It is completely and utterly wasteful. Something like 65% of all Christmas gifts are returned. That means that all the effort that was exerted to obtain those gifts was utterly wasted. Imagine what we might accomplish as a society if we were to focus all that wasted energy into something worth while.
#4. It pushes a lot of people into debt. Don't worry Johnny - mom can't put food on the table or pay the power bill, but we will find a way to get you some presents. Now - wheres that pesky credit card.
#5. People preech peace on earth and goodwill toward men, but most people just think of themselves and their own family at christmas. There are tons of people out there who have almost nothing. But rather than help them out (as Jesus the carpenter would have done), people turn away and focus on buying crap they don't need.
#6 It creates false and unreasonably expectations in many families. Growing up - christmas was horrible for me. My mother had this preconceived notion of how the day should go. When my father, brother, and I didn't make her expectations come to life - she got pissed off and cried. That pretty much happened every year from when I was born to when I moved out of the house at 22.
#7 The friggin music is terrible. It just is. And it is played, WAY too much.
#8. Trying to actually get anything done in the month of December is nearly impossible. Lots of people are on vacation, there are a million parties to go to (I like parties in and of themselves, but not when they just expose me to more xmas crap).
#9 My wife gets pissed at me because she wants to buy me a gift and I won't give her any ideas because I hate the holiday for at least reasons 1-8 above. And she gets flabbergasted when I tell her to make a donation on my behalf to a local charity. "Who doesn't like presents" she says. Well - I don't. Sorry. I don't need anything, and anything I want I can buy myself.
Etc.
Anyone else feel this way? I have been able to conceal how I feel in past years, but this year I haven't done such a good job of that. Partly every time I go into a store nowadays I feel like I want to tear my eyes out.
Your user name and avatar indicate you have, or at the very least, had, a good sense of humor. Therefore, I will appeal to that.
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