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Do you worry about other peoples feelings too much?

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I do that all the time, I guess it's human nature to be considerate, but then why do I get hurt most of the time, I am confused 😕
 
Yes, I do. Well, kinda 🙂. But I do take the other person's personality in consideration before saying or thinking anything.
 
I tend to stay distant, I think it's some sort of protective mechanism to keep me from having to worry about the feelings of others. 🙁 I think it's worse then being closer to others and taking the consequences.
 
<<Yes, I do. Well, kinda . But I do take the other person's personality in consideration before saying or thinking anything. >>

true true
 
Realizing the cause and effect principles, where every action has a ripple effect, in real life (not my internet personna, always), I try and consider what effect my attitudes, words and actions may have on someone else. I will stand up for myself when it comes to someone trying to run over me, but will try and do it in a tactful, non attacking way. Assertiveness is what some people lack, and therefore allow themselves to be taken advantage of, inspite of the fact that it feels wrong. You can't go thru life being passive, or you will get run over. Someone said, in life, you must &quot;blow your own horn, or someone else will use it as a spittoon&quot;. How true that is. 🙂
I also think there are people who have a need to be the Alpha Dog, and they can be quite controlling and manipulative.
 
<<Yes, I do. Well, kinda . But I do take the other person's personality in consideration before saying or thinking anything. >>

Well said Elledan. I'm tolerant of most people anyway so I'm always concerned about other people's feelings. But I don't think I worry about their feelings too much. Ignorance is bliss!😉
 
Yea, funny that you post something about this today.

Im currently in a fight with my best friend. His GF, and partly my GF.

He has a problem with respect and telling the truth.
I have tried to stand by his side and help him see what hes doing for years.
And now its getting bad again, and I don't know how to deal with it.
 
NO.

I never really have cared if I hurt people's feelings. I don't go out of my way TO hurt them. I just do my thing and let the chips fall where they may. It must work OK.....no one's been able to kill me yet. Maybe I'm just too fast.
--Randy
 


<< I know I do, my whole life I have been that way. I have gotten myself screwed so many times (and not in the good way either) 😉 because I was afraid of hurting someone elses feelings, and instead hurt my own. And mostly by my own family too, although every friend I have had has hurt me in some way or another. I guess it just bugs me that its an either or situation. Either I become a bitch, or I get hurt. Makes it so I don't even want to deal with people anymore.

So, anyone else out there a looney like me? Please say yes... 😀 >>



I feel your pain GirlFriday. Without being too specific, lets just say that there are certain family members that wouldn't be missed if they fell off the face of the earth 😉 I feel it's better to bite my tongue and keep the peace amongst the family then to actually say something and cause a huge neverending fight.
 
<<Yea, funny that you post something about this today.

Im currently in a fight with my best friend. His GF, and partly my GF.>>


I'm sorry, but did anyone else notice something wrong here? Oh, now I see. I thought your part GF was his GF 😕! I'll get back in my box now 😱.

JJJ
 
I hate offending people. Some say I say I'm sorry to often and I am starting to realze that they are right. The thing is that I do not want people to be mad at me so I will often times be accomodating. Many times too accomodating!
 
There is nothing wrong with anybody. All negative emotion exists because we believe in lies, that there is something wrong with us. But there is nothing wrong with us. Thus we can never be hurt. We can be reminded that we believe in lies, and that hurts, or reminds us of our old hurt, but that is not really being hurt, because there is nothing wrong with any of us.

One thing that you can expect from a child is lack of consideration. A child does not consider your feelings. Why should he or she? There is nothing wrong with you, and especially there is nothing wrong with the child. There is nothing to consider, that is until the world ends with the lesson that 'you child' are inconsiderate. After that lesson never again will we let down our guard without intense anxiety. Oh we would like to all right. Who wants to respect those who demand it but don't earn it. Or we revolt and disrespect every thing and everybody, or we turn off and cease to care at all to attempt to avoid pain.

So we have been taught to consider other people's feelings by being made to feel inconsiderate. Thus every attempt to consider caries it's own seeds of distruction, the unconscious feeling that the effort will be insufficient. Additionally the feelings we have been taught to consider are negative emotions that are lies which the balm of consideration will never heal because, of course, the feelings are not real.

Also, every time you consider someone's tender feelings, you remind them of the fact that they are feeling them. That is unwelcome. 'I really appreciate the fact that you like my nose, pimples and all. Yea sure you do, asshole.'

So what do we do. We can try to realize that real love starts with the love of ourselves, our own being, so that the circle, any circle, is alread complete. The lover owns the universe because he or she has everything that can be gotten that counts for anything. He or she does not give consideration. He or she gives love. Nothing in return is expected or required. The lover can never be rejected and never rejects. Such a place is remote for most of us, but understanding this truth and taking it seriously can begin, at least, to put some breaks on the automatic banging on our own head we do for feeling like such failures. There is nothing wrong with us.

There is only love, but when we learn to disrespect ourselves there is only confusion.
 
Wow, its nice to see I am not the only pushover around here. Except, call me weird, but I think Russ was being sarcastic. Maybe just a tad, but I sense it. I have a pretty good intuition for these things. 😀

Cougar: That is exactly how it is with certain members of my family. Friends, fine, I can deal with that. But family is supposed to be there for you, and mine just seems like it never is. And I don't know who I get more upset with. Them for letting me down, or me for fooling myself that something is going to change. It's been 27 years, maybe its time to realize they are not exactly the Waltons. 😉

Moonbeam: Theres that wooshing sound again, I will try reading that again later, maybe its just too early for me. 😛 Thanks everyone.
 


<< Is anyone buying this?? If you are you have never played CS with GF...she is ruthless. No compassion whatsoever. 😉 >>



Hey now, you poor bastids just get the aftermath, when I get back from visiting family. Think of it this way, you are providing me free therapy. 😀
 
Far out Moonbeam! I wish I could do that thing with your head like they do in Being John Malkovich. What can't you write an essay on?
 
yup, I'm the same way. I've been told more time's than I care to think about by women that they wouldn't go out with me &quot;cuz you just too nice&quot; 🙁
I tried changing, but I guess it's true what they say about a leopard changing it's spots.....

Anyone know any women into NICE GUYS???
 
i have actually lost sleep, tossing and turning, over someone's feelings! i say to myself its really silly but i am quite a sensetive person..
 


<< Cougar: That is exactly how it is with certain members of my family. Friends, fine, I can deal with that. But family is supposed to be there for you, and mine just seems like it never is. And I don't know who I get more upset with. Them for letting me down, or me for fooling myself that something is going to change. It's been 27 years, maybe its time to realize they are not exactly the Waltons. 😉 >>



Preach it sister 🙂

If the people that pissed me off weren't family I would have told them off a looooooooooooong time ago.
 


<< Do you worry about other peoples feelings too much? >>


Most definitly - and I've let myself down because of it too 🙁
 
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