Do you think spanking children is wrong?

[SophalotJack]

If I can spank the monkey, I can spank the children.

I don't discriminate.

 

[FeuerFrei]

No its not wrong, its necessary. You don't spank your kids if you are mad at them. The point is discipline and correction, not taking out your anger on them. Allow yourself to calm down before proceeding.

 

[Hammerhead]

You should seriously change your poll to:

Yes - and I'm a parent
No - and I'm a parent

Yes - and I'm not a parent
No - and I'm not a parent

 

[geecee]

A lot of today's thinking seems to deal with reasoning with the child, making them understand, and establishing acceptable parameters. While I have no problems with this and feel this is ultimately the right way to go, there is an age where the child really is not ready for reasoning and understanding. For most kids, I'd say 2-5 or 6 years old. At that age range, I'd say spanking is acceptable. And for those that feel that that is child abuse, I'd disagree vehemently. Child abuse is beating the child (whether its their butt or otherwise) black and blue out of anger. A few smacks on the butt (or the hand) to instill discipline through a momentary, but memorable sensation of pain is quite appropriate for younger children. Parents need to realize what THEIR reasoning for spanking the child is. If it's out of anger, then it's wrong. If it's with the intent of teaching them right and wrong and it's not overboard, I see nothing wrong with it.

 

[TheAdvocate]

Originally posted by: Hammerhead
You should seriously change your poll to:

Yes - and I'm a parent
No - and I'm a parent

Yes - and I'm not a parent
No - and I'm not a parent

Agreed.

 

[Schadenfroh]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Beating the crap out of your children? Wrong.
Spanking them to establish limits on their behavior? Not wrong.

agreed

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Is corporal punishment wrong? ... not necessarily.

However, i believe there are more effective forms of behavior modification. Positive reinforcement is much more powerful for shaping kids behavior. Redirection is better suited for real little kids. For kids 3-8, time outs, properly administered, are just as effective as any spanking would be.

 

[Molondo]

My dad used to make me go outside and find a stick so he can spank me with it. Mind games FTW. Spankin is great.

 

[azilaga]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Beating the crap out of your children? Wrong.
Spanking them to establish limits on their behavior? Not wrong.

Well said.

 

[nageov3t]

I guess it depends on the situation.

I don't have kids, but when I do, I can't really see myself spanking them. not because I believe it will damage their precious psyche or some new age babble, but I myself was spanked as a kid and I can honestly say it had no affect on me whatsoever, good or bad.

it almost reminds me of people to advocate capital punishment to criminals as a form of deterance, as if someone in the heat of rage will stop and think "oh, wait... maybe this ho slept did sleep around and give me a VD but I'll only beat her half to death so I don't get the death penalty."

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: jimbob200521
I'd say it should be on a case by case basis.

Bingo.

People on either side of the fence who think that their way is the only way are narrow-minded. Every child is different; every child responds to things different. A smack on the butt might emotionally scar one child for life, whereas that might be the only way to effectively get through to another child. As a parent you need to be mindful and aware of your child's individual needs.

While I can't rule it out (I don't have a crystal ball), I can't see myself spanking my children. My kids would not respond well to a spanking, at least not at this point. However, as a child, there were a few times that a spanking was the only thing that would have corrected my actions and I never bore any resentment toward my parents for doing it.

One thing that I do strong stand on is that you should not spank your children when you are angry. If you feel that spanking is an appropriate action, you should have a calm and cool head first.

[edit]

Holy dyslexia Batman... it's really acting up today...

 

[Hammerhead]

Originally posted by: TheAdvocate

Originally posted by: Hammerhead
You should seriously change your poll to:

Yes - and I'm a parent
No - and I'm a parent

Yes - and I'm not a parent
No - and I'm not a parent

Agreed.

So many non-parents say they'll never spank their kids, but quickly change their tune once they have kids of their own.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Wrong? No. Stupid and lazy? Yes.

First of all, the reason for not behaving badly extends beyond the fear of pain. Your kids need to understand the actual reason why they shouldn't hit or why they shouldn't jump on the sofa. Second of all, your teaching them that it's okay to hit as a means to convey a point. But spanking is easy and takes MUCH less effort than the alternative which is why most people use it.

I was never spanked. We've never spanked our children. If you really care and devote the time and energy to discipline that it requires, you'll both come out the better.

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: Arkitech
wow, I'm surprised I really thought this poll would go the other way.

This thread is inspired by watching Nanny 911 tonight (yeah I know, but I was to lazy to change the channel). Anyway you can probably guess what happened, a group of kids from hell with 1 or 2 parents who don't have a clue. The family they had on tonight were'nt the most unruly I've ever seen but the mother made me want to slap something. She was just so detached from raising the children and in complete denial about the reality of the situation. People like that piss me off soooo bad.

I saw that show. That woman was a horrible mother.

 

[djheater]

I'd say that spanking can be easily overused. If I were being inflammatory I'd say it's lazy parenting, the truth is of course that spanking has its place, but usually it's not necessary, if it becomes frequently necessary it's become ineffective as a deterrent, IMO.

 

[desy]

I have spanked my children
I found it very ineffective, what does work is the timeouts with controlled calm voice talking to at their physical level.
While I'm not against spanking I don't see it being as effective, so why bother?
I think the % of kids that can't be reached by talking to must be very low and as a parent you have to ask is it worth it? I only give spankings for bad moral behavior like stealing, not cause they didn't clean up their room, eat theri peas, or pushed their sister down.

 

[geecee]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
Wrong? No. Stupid and lazy? Yes.

First of all, the reason for not behaving badly extends beyond the fear of pain. Your kids need to understand the actual reason why they shouldn't hit or why they shouldn't jump on the sofa. Second of all, your teaching them that it's okay to hit as a means to convey a point. But spanking is easy and takes MUCH less effort than the alternative which is why most people use it.

I was never spanked. We've never spanked our children. If you really care and devote the time and energy to discipline that it requires, you'll both come out the better.

I dislike attitudes like this because what is implied is that "I am a better parent than you because I don't spank my kids." Well, I have never spanked my kids either (though honestly my wife has on occasion given a slap on the hand). However, do I disagree with parents that spank their kids? No. As someone else pointed out here, every child is different. Some children will respond to it and be perfectly OK with it. Other children will have problems with it AND/OR it will not work. Your "reasoning" argument is perfectly fine (and seems to be the child-rearing consensus these days) and I agree with it for the most part. But as I said in my previous post, it does not work with ALL children because some just are not ready for reasoning and understanding yet. As long as a parent understands their children and understands the reasoning behind what they, as a parent, are doing, then they are doing nothing wrong. There are few absolutes in raising a child, as there are few absolutes in many other aspects of life as well.

EDIT: changed vague grammatical reference.