We got new credit cards in the mail. Unlike the old ones, which were very neutral, a sort of bluish with some lines on it ? and noted a tie-in to a frequent flier program ? the new ones instead sport a loud rendition of a portion of a rippling American flag. It is not a nice picture. It looks like a cheap political mailing (and the absence of the tie-in raises the specter that the bank is contemplating ending its role as generator of volume frequent flier miles).
I want to call to complain. My spouse, who is not a US citizen and thus more in fear of Big Brother, argues that it is not wise to call anyone to complain about an American flag.
Thus, today?s consumer ? financial services provider interaction
Recorded voice: Welcome to {mega card}. To utilize our automated sevices press or say one?.please touchtone or say your sixteen digit account number NOW.
[Lots of beeps] Thank you. Press one for?
[Frantic repeated pressing of the ?0? key]
Female voice: Welcome to {mega card}. May I have the name on the card please? Thank you. What is your middle initial? What is your code word? No, that?s not it. Yes, that?s it, thank you. How can I help you?
Me: We received our new credit cards today. They have a picture of the American flag on them. I don?t think this is an appropriate use of the American flag. The card will get dirty, it will have stuff run over it, this will amount to flag desecration. It?s not right.
Female voice (afer slight delay) : would you like to speak to a supervisor and see what he can do for you?
[minute wait, listening to hold muzak]
Female voice: I have an account executive ready to speak to you.
Male voice: Hello, this is John, what is the problem?
Me: We received our new credit cards today. They have a picture of the American flag on them. I don?t think this is an appropriate use of the American flag. The card will get dirty, it will have stuff run over it, it?s a form of flag desecration. Can I have one that wouldn?t be so offensive?
John: Let me put you on hold.
[Delay of under a minute]
John: We?ll address that for you.
Me: What does that mean?
John: We?ll get you a new card without the flag picture on it.
Me: Thank you. [Sudden inspiration.] One other thing. How do I dispose of this card? Normally I?d cut it up, but I don?t want to do that.
John: (after minuscule pause) You could put it in a safe or other secure location.
Me: If I had a safe. Right. Thank you.
John: Goodbye.