Do you read in the bathroom?

[OUCaptain]

Originally posted by: Steve
I live alone, and I bought a wireless router so I could nef on the john.

Wow, you're hardcore.

 

[CKent]

No... I guess my colon isn't into foreplay, I take like 3 minutes in the bathroom. 5 on a bad day.

 

[So]

Not lately. I've been playing sodoku!

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: Schfifty Five

Originally posted by: GodlessAstronomer
Yes, absolutely. I usually take a book with me and spend far longer than I really need to.

Originally posted by: Kazaam
I don't give a shit.

Then why are you in there?

Because you take a shit, not give.

I know it's weird, why do we "take dumps/shits"....we aren't acquiring shit, we're giving it to the toilet lol.

I find it less messy to leave a shit than to take one...and yes, I take the morning paper with me every morning for my morning constitutional...

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: GodlessAstronomer
Yes, absolutely. I usually take a book with me and spend far longer than I really need to.

Originally posted by: Kazaam
I don't give a shit.

Then why are you in there?

Don't do it. It can lead to 'roids.


Spend ONLY as much time on the toilet as is absolutely necessary to drop the kids off.

Think about it: you sit on the toilet, what's happening to your hole? stretched beyond belief right?

it's a muscle. ...think some more.


If it takes mroe than five minutes--ever--then you need to be on fiber. Metamucil, Benefiber, whatever, but don't waste any time or you'll be creating some butt jockeys before you know it.

and don't force that shit out. It's even worse than holding court.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: ADDAvenger
No, I get it done so the next guy can do his thing without waiting for ten fricking minutes for no good reason.

:thumbsup:

you sir will live a long life.

These other saps?

....not so much.

 

[TridenT]

No... I don't take forever to take a shit...

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: paulney
Nope. First of all, squatting for a prolonged period of time is unhealthy, and second, why would you want to read in your shit and piss fumes and all?
Get it done, then go read in some more comfortable place.

Ah, sounds like you need more Joyce in your life. Re-read the first chapter of Ulysses...and do it now

(yeah, I've railed against it; but Joyce does explain the beauty and eloquence of the prolonged constitutional like no one else)

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Fayd

Originally posted by: Modular

Originally posted by: irishScott
Used to, but since I started taking psyllium I'm never in there long enough to get anywhere barring some intestinal disease. If I just want to read, there are more comfortable places.

Man card, give it up ya big sissy.

hardly. there's no reason to spend a great deal of time on the pot. if i need to take a shit, i wait till the pressure is great. then go in, shit quick, get the fuck out.

:thumbsup:

man card means dick when you only get it for 50 or so years of life (if you're lucky)

 

[arkcom]

I never learned to read!

 

[MrCodeDude]

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Don't do it. It can lead to 'roids.

Spend ONLY as much time on the toilet as is absolutely necessary to drop the kids off.

Think about it: you sit on the toilet, what's happening to your hole? stretched beyond belief right?

it's a muscle. ...think some more.


If it takes mroe than five minutes--ever--then you need to be on fiber. Metamucil, Benefiber, whatever, but don't waste any time or you'll be creating some butt jockeys before you know it.

and don't force that shit out. It's even worse than holding court.

I don't think people are necessarily defecating the entire time, so I don't believe that the hole is being stretched beyond belief just by sitting on a toilet.

I've read entire books (<200 pages) entirely on the toilet over a couple weeks. Usually stick to Sports Illustrated and ESPN the Magazine though.

 

[DangerAardvark]

Yes, hovering inches above a freshly dropped turd is my ideal location for reading.

 

[Bateluer]

Nope. You go in, do your business, and leave. The bathroom is not your library or study.

 

[JujuFish]

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: ADDAvenger
No, I get it done so the next guy can do his thing without waiting for ten fricking minutes for no good reason.

:thumbsup:

you sir will live a long life.

These other saps?

....not so much.

Shirley, you jest.

 

[roguerower]

As a matter of fact I just got outa the head. Took my nano in there with me and played solitaire. A lot of the games have been played on the can.

While I lived in the dorms my company (Corps of Cadets) made our own magazine rack and filled it whenever any of us got anything. Had all sorts of shit in there by the time the year was over.

 

[Fritzo]

If fact, I call it "The Library"

 

[JJChicken]

Originally posted by: arkcom
I never learned to read!

then how did you learn to read the title of this thread and post a coherent, witty reply - albeit flawed?

 

[bignateyk]

I'm a power-shitter. I'm in and out in a few minutes.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: GodlessAstronomer

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
I have to go out of my way to find something to read on the way to the bathroom.
I have a stack of magazines and books and have read them all 10 times.

Last December I gave away my gigantic stack of New Scientist magazines (3 years of weekly mags = huge ass pile) to a charity for kids that wouldn't get Christmas presents otherwise. I must have read every issue 10 times in the shitter. Now I have to search for something before I go.

Thankfully I've got two really good books on the go right now, so it hasn't been an issue.

You donated magazines that you kept in your bathroom for months.

What a humanitarian. Did you offer your used toilet paper too?

 

[BW86]

yes

 

[Casawi]

Yep. That is where I read all of my magazines.