<< It's just that those tip jars are so impersonal. How do I know where those tips will be going? >>
MYTH #1: Waiters get all of your tip. Tip jars don't go to people at the counter.
Most waiters have to split tips with the bussers, the bar, the food runners, and the kitchen. That's a total of 30% of their tips going to other people.
If you tip someone at the counter, it goes to the people serving you and that's it.