Do you like yourself? If not, why? If yes, why?

igor_kavinski

Diamond Member
Jul 27, 2020
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1656264905352.png

Is he right or is he right?

To answer my own question, yes, I like myself a lot. I wouldn't trade myself to be someone else. I think I could do a lot of good if I had the resources. I just don't like that I need to sleep a lot. And by a lot, I mean, A LOT!
 

JM Aggie08

Diamond Member
Jan 3, 2006
7,911
583
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I've grown to like me. I am exceedingly hard on myself, which spirals downward into self-loathing at times, but I think I am generally an easy person to get along with, treat people well, very useful, and do a good job at anything I put effort towards.
 

deadlyapp

Diamond Member
Apr 25, 2004
6,367
589
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Maybe because you charge them what you think are fair prices for PC gear but they think they oughta get more discount from you?
Maybe because he has no self respect and let's people run over him.

I mostly like myself. I have some moral issues that are not ideal but I accept them and don't seek to change them. I am successful and driven and generally calculated and cold but I'm fine with that.

Clinically, I'd probably be consider a psychopath. Probably should have joined the CIA.
 
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igor_kavinski

Diamond Member
Jul 27, 2020
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nope, i've hated myself since i was a little kid
Do you recall the first time you hated yourself? What was your exact situation when that happened? You were looking at yourself in the mirror? Or someone had been mean to you? Or you were feeling depressed? Did you fail at accomplishing something? Did you fail to please someone whose attention you badly wanted?
 
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Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
46,604
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Sometimes. I see emotions in 3 groups:

1. Internal (how we choose to think)
2. Para-external (things internal to us, but that we don't choose, sort of like stubbing your toe or getting a papercut, but only YOU experience it...not by choice!)
3. External (ex. someone criticizing us)

I suffer from anxiety & depression as para-external experiences. I don't choose to have them, as I'm not an anxious person by nature, but I experience them. For example, I have 3 levels of depression:

1. Apathy (don't care)
2. Internal resistance (doing stuff & caring about stuff feels like an anchor on my heart, emotionally-speaking)
3. "Can't" mode. Sometimes just can't do stuff.

Do I like myself as a growing person with intrinsic value? Yes. Do I always feel connected to that feeling? No. It's hard to feel good about yourself & experience self-confidence as an emotion when your internal resources are randomly cut off intermittently & you engage in things like procrastination without understanding why. The example I use is riding a mechanical bull: when you're in the crowd watching, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but when you're the one riding the bull in the heat of the moment, it's an immersive experience.

I also dealt with a lot of shame growing up from undiagnosed ADHD. I developed an explanation called "glass cage theory":

1. You're stuck in a glass cage, seeing things going on, but not being able to engage
2. The door is unlocked, but the door handle is electrified, so it hurts if you touch it. This makes doing tasks extremely frustrating at times.
3. There are holes in the glass where co-morbid experiences (such as anxiety & depression) poke you like branding irons

I've heard it said that self-confidence comes from being able to trust yourself, and when you get stuck in the glass cage of low energy (i.e. ADHD), consistent execution can be incredibly difficult to sustain. The hanging weights illustration in this comic explains it succinctly:

https://iraprince.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F631158826868031488
This comic is the best explanation I've ever seen of what it's like to live with ADHD:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHDmemes/comments/pmrh5d
Knowing that I struggle with the issue of cyclical & chronically low available mental energy helps me a lot, because I know I'm not choosing on purpose to have such a struggle in life. This is one of the reasons I like convenience items like the Instapot & Sous-Vide & 3D printing & neffing on social media...I don't always have the emotional mojo to dive into doing things more extensively. Sometimes I like to cook a really complex dish, but sometimes just the thought of having to go through the process of microwaving a frozen burrito makes me wanna yak, which is simply a result of low mental energy from time to time, so knowing the backstory & having an explanation really helps me to cut myself some slack lol.

I also deal with imposter syndrome a lot, which is an irrational feeling, not a logical way of living, same with my body dysmorphia, both of which are para-external experiences I don't choose to have & don't want to experience. Best we can do is the best we can do, and just deal with stuff the best we can along the way! So I think there are really 2 components to that question:

1. How we choose to feel about ourselves
2. How we emotionally (external to our choices) feel about ourselves

As a human being, I try to make an effort to be nice, be helpful, contribute to society, etc. Emotionally, particularly with my ADHD, I suffer from emotional dysregulation. Like for many people with ADHD, we tend to feel vaguely guilty about something non-stop, with no rational explanation, typically since we were kids, probably because we're so used to getting blindsided by stuff we forgot to do & then procrastinated on due to low mental energy that we're just kind of stuck with that chronic low-key anxiety all the time lol. So it's hard to like yourself when you constantly feel negative feelings like that on a regular basis, no matter how you think about yourself.

Fortunately you can eat your feelings, which is why I'm now the Kitchen Overlord of ATOT lol.
 

igor_kavinski

Diamond Member
Jul 27, 2020
3,902
2,361
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No one else does, so why should I?
Stop hating yourself, smile when you engage someone in conversation, be kind and respectful and people will like you.

There was a guy who hated me a lot for some reason. It was at my current workplace. He would always look at me with disdain and speak somewhat rudely to me. Wouldn't even reply if I said hello. But I always said hello to him with a smile. Few years down the road, he had a child and one day brought him to work. The kid was like 3 or 4. I was passing by. The kid offered his hand to me for a handshake and his dad told me with a smile to shake the kid's hand. I did. It felt good.
 
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KidNiki1

Platinum Member
Oct 15, 2010
2,885
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i like myself.

people always have room to grow, and room to improve, and as i am people, that includes me. so there are aspects about myself i am constantly working to improve (to varying degrees and with varying rates of success).

but im pretty ok in the grand scheme of things, i think.
 
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pmv

Lifer
May 30, 2008
10,689
5,412
136
I'm pretty indifferent to myself, really.

I think I'm much more aware of my utter insignificance than I was when I was young.
 

nakedfrog

No Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
54,596
7,257
126
Yep, I do. I wasn't always the best person in the world, but I've improved a lot over the years. I'm responsible and practical, but also frivolous and fun. I'm definitely kinder than I used to be, but am also not willing to let someone shit on me.
 

igor_kavinski

Diamond Member
Jul 27, 2020
3,902
2,361
106
I think I'm much more aware of my utter insignificance than I was when I was young.
Humility is one of the greatest virtues. That awareness of insignificance likely comes from acquiring a good deal of knowledge and pondering on the purpose of your existence.
 

Lost_in_the_HTTP

Diamond Member
Nov 17, 2019
7,088
4,002
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Humanity is one of the greatest viruses. The lack of awareness of the damage we do and the insignificance of anything helpful we do is mind boggling.
 

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