I love driving. I just hate everyone else on the road, especially the following, in order:
- The elderly. For fvck's sake, grandma, get back on your walker and hobble back to the retirement home from whence you came. Driving 30 mph below the speed limit while swerving back and forth in your lane will only make me that much more eager to see you finally kick the bucket. If you're so decrepit and shrunken that you can barely see over the dashboard maybe you should take a clue and take the bus. Just my luck that I live in a community where the median age is around 60. There are so many fricking stupid old people driving here it makes me insane. Just driving down the street can be a chore when you have 1 old person taking up both lanes to parallel park, 1 old person parked 5 feet away from the curb, 1 old person stopping in the middle of the road for no reason, another stopping completely to make a right hand turn, etc. DIE ALREADY! YOUR KIDS NEED YOUR MONEY!
- FOB immigrants. I hate being "racist" but I rarely see a 1st generation immigrant that knows how to correctly maneuver a vehicle. My mom (she's Japanese) surprisingly enough has mastered Los Angeles area driving, for which she gets kudos. However, I see so many middle-age/older Asian or Latino drivers (mostly women) who just do COMPLETELY INANE AND STUPID THINGS. Like turn left from the right lane. Stop in the middle of the street because they're lost. Drive slower than a drugged-out sloth. Argh. Leave my country NOW please.
- Teenagers and "Gangstas" - Teenagers are somewhat excused just because they're teenagers and don't fully understand the impact of reckless driving until they total daddy's sports car. However, the fricking ese's in their Camaros and the Thug-Lyfes in their Escalades screaming down the freeway at 100 mph, cutting people off, and pretending that there's no double yellow on the carpool just aggravate me to no end. Best part is, I usually catch up to them when they hit traffic. Yeah, big fat load of good driving like an a-hole is doing you, huh turbo?