Do you guys think divorce was a good idea?

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flyfish

Senior member
Oct 23, 2000
856
0
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Quote

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Originally posted by: dirtboy
Good. You obviously have never been married my ex-wife, who was a lieing deceitful bitch. It's a good thing for divorce or else I would have been suck with her eternally and been miserable for the rest of my life.

EDIT: We didn't have kids either. After we got married and I saw the kind of person she really was, I made every excuse not to have kids.
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lowtech1

Diamond Member
Mar 9, 2000
4,644
1
0
My opinion:

Marriage is an arrangement instituted by God, and in his view, marriage is for ever. The ONLY grounds for divorce is adultery. Do NOT marry somone with the thought in the back of your head that "if I dont like them, I can always divorce them." Wrong view. Look at divorce as a NO resort situation. It should never be used.

Adding kids to the mix only makes it worse to get a divorce. It doesnt make it bad, it already was bad.


To those of you who dont believe in God, dont get married. Marriage has no meaning if you dont believe in God.
You rather that they kill each other than a divorce?
Many men/women feel the same way as you because they are brainwashed by religion to stay together even in an abusive realtionship where the only way out is suicide or murder. I don't condone divorce at the drop of the hat, or marriage because of "accidental" pregnacy, etc..., but getting out of a relationship is much better than abussing or being abuse by your partner. And, how is it staying together is better for the child when they have to witness the abuse or being abused?

What "God" has to do with people?
Have you ever thought that there is no God?
If the kind of God that you are talking about existed he/she/it wouldn't allow its own children to abuse or kill each others.
Another the thing is God is not going to be there to block the bullet when your partner decided to pull that trigger.

Ps. I?m an ex Catholic that were an altar boy for 7 years and went to bible school for 3 years.

rolleye.gif
 

"That is my only complaint with divorce... people should not take an oath that they have no intention of keeping. I understand those who have reason, like abuse or infidelity, but most are just pathetic people looking for an easy way out.
Anyway, must be why I'm 31 years old, never been married, and been living with my long-time GF for 5 years now. I don't take oaths and vows lightly, I don't see marriage as something one does for custom or family..."


I so agree with you, Vic. My Lord! Sometimes I get too scared of marriage and just want to settle for a companion for life. I for one don't want to settle for less if I can't find a good spouse. But I agree with you. If my hubby-to-be is to take an oath with me, then he better damn well mean every single word he utters. In fact, maybe I'll have him compose his own words for the marriage, instead of using the pathetic traditional words that have been abused. I want him to mean what he says and say what he means. He should write his own words; that way I knew he took his time and comtemplated it all. It also tells much about his creativity and thinking skills.
 

lowtech1

Diamond Member
Mar 9, 2000
4,644
1
0
Originally posted by: luvly
"That is my only complaint with divorce... people should not take an oath that they have no intention of keeping. I understand those who have reason, like abuse or infidelity, but most are just pathetic people looking for an easy way out.
Anyway, must be why I'm 31 years old, never been married, and been living with my long-time GF for 5 years now. I don't take oaths and vows lightly, I don't see marriage as something one does for custom or family..."


I so agree with you, Vic. My Lord! Sometimes I get too scared of marriage and just want to settle for a companion for life. I for one don't want to settle for less if I can't find a good spouse. But I agree with you. If my hubby-to-be is to take an oath with me, then he better damn well mean every single word he utters. In fact, maybe I'll have him compose his own words for the marriage, instead of using the pathetic traditional words that have been abused. I want him to mean what he says and say what he means. He should write his own words; that way I knew he took his time and comtemplated it all. It also tells much about his creativity and thinking skills.
I too have the same trouble, because I'm a hard man. I haven't learn how to forgive, because I hold to my words & expect people to their words, specially my love ones. My expectation is too high & unrealistic to many people therefore my ex left me, but I till love her dearly.

I believe listen and forgive is the best skill one can have. (Now I just have to remember what I preach when I'm fustrated.)

 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
74,904
6,787
126
Humans are not monogamous. Who told you that? People are asleep. They don't have the faintest idea how they are. I would look for the opinion of somebody who had pierced the veil of their unconscious and knew themselves for a sound poinion on this matter. Humans have been increasingly monogamous for at least 4 million years.
 

djheater

Lifer
Mar 19, 2001
14,637
2
0
I agree to some extent with Moonbeam. It's silly to claim that humans are not monogamous as though you are stating an empirical biological fact. There are many factors to the biology of sexuality and those factors are acted upon by the specific culture of the individual. We are a monogamous culture. (PERIOD)
Somebody link this to Hitler so we can get this thread over with already.
 

Shuxclams

Diamond Member
Oct 10, 1999
9,286
15
81
I divorced MrsSHUX for a multitude of reasons, some being the well being of our son. Things are much better for me and him.. she is still insane, but now I dont have to live with it anymore and niether does my son. :)






P.S. All you kids stay away from from drugs and alcohol.... it'll ruin your marriage and life. ;)






SHUX
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,234
2,554
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
If I hadn't gotten divorced one of us would be serving life in prison and the children would have ended up orphans.

Do I think it was a good thing? no, am I proud of it? no, Do I think it was better for the kids than a stable,happy two parent home? no of course not. I do however feel it was a helluva lot better than the miserable tight lipped, white knuckled, cold war ,hell hole home with people that hated each others guts but "stayed together for the children"that I grew up in as a kid and ran away from at the earliest opportunity.

My kids got something I didn't, they grew up with laughter, with a lot of hugs and kisses and open displays of affection and emotion... I feel it was a lot better than the way I was raised.

Keep this in mind,people who are engaged in a war with each other,however silent it is, have scant emotional resources to give to their children and make no mistake,you might fool the neighbors but there's nothing "hidden" from the eyes,ears and hearts of the kids involved.
 

Pliablemoose

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
25,195
0
56
Married 2X now 4 year anniv under my belt on the 2nd one. I think my first wife & I were simply incompatable, we still fight (it's more like she rants & I listen).

Current wife & I didn't have unrealistic expectations when we got married, we primarily got married for the companionship & to provide a stable environment for our children (we both brought a child into the marriage from previous marriages) Her ex died in a car wreck last spring & my ex is now a legend in family court for being such an idiot & hasn't seen our daughter in 2 years, hasn't paid child support in 7 months; & will soon have another arrest warrant issued for contempt.

The current school of thought in the US seems to be serial monogamy, multiple marriages.
 

Swag1138

Diamond Member
Feb 7, 2000
3,444
0
0
Originally posted by: lowtech
My opinion:

Marriage is an arrangement instituted by God, and in his view, marriage is for ever. The ONLY grounds for divorce is adultery. Do NOT marry somone with the thought in the back of your head that "if I dont like them, I can always divorce them." Wrong view. Look at divorce as a NO resort situation. It should never be used.

Adding kids to the mix only makes it worse to get a divorce. It doesnt make it bad, it already was bad.


To those of you who dont believe in God, dont get married. Marriage has no meaning if you dont believe in God.
You rather that they kill each other than a divorce?
Many men/women feel the same way as you because they are brainwashed by religion to stay together even in an abusive realtionship where the only way out is suicide or murder. I don't condone divorce at the drop of the hat, or marriage because of "accidental" pregnacy, etc..., but getting out of a relationship is much better than abussing or being abuse by your partner. And, how is it staying together is better for the child when they have to witness the abuse or being abused?

What "God" has to do with people?
Have you ever thought that there is no God?
If the kind of God that you are talking about existed he/she/it wouldn't allow its own children to abuse or kill each others.
Another the thing is God is not going to be there to block the bullet when your partner decided to pull that trigger.

Ps. I?m an ex Catholic that were an altar boy for 7 years and went to bible school for 3 years.

rolleye.gif

True followers of God wouldnt be abusers, but that doesnt answer any of your points. I think that if there is an abusive relationship in a marriage, then one could be seperated from the abusive partner. But knowing that unless adultery were performed by the partner, then no matter WHAT level of abuse there was, or if they are divorced by law or not, they are still married in Gods eyes, and not truly free to enter into another marriage relationship with another person.

And yes, I have thought that there is no God, I have fought with my self over many points about my faith, and I can only hope that my faith is stronger for it. I was never a catholic, thus I was never an altar boy, nor did I ever go to bible school, so I lack your education and knowledge on those levels, but I do have my own knowledge, and my faith, and I am happy with those.