Do you guys think divorce was a good idea?

[djheater]

my 5 year anniversary is in May next year. I have two children. We got pregnant after 3 months of dating :Q We have a wonderful relationship. However, neither of us are stupid so that may have worked to our advantage.

 

[Isla]

I think it would be nice if there were more of an social/community emphasis on teaching kids what healthy marriage and loving parenthood is all about. Classes should be taught that teach the skills people need to have good relationships. Instead, we pretty much just learn from watching our parents, who learned from watching their parents, who learned from watching there parents... and so the cycle continues.

 

[LAUST]

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[Isla]

Originally posted by: BDawg
I think it's bad that it should be so easy to get in to and out of a commitment for life.

My pastor made my wife and me go through 3 months of pre-marriage counseling before he would marry us. Everyone should have to go through something like that.

We went to a couple of sessions with our pastor and he tried to warn me not to do it. Looking back I see what he was trying to say... I wish he had said it more directly! We took a compatibility test and failed it miserably... I scored high for "Doormat" and he scored high for "Tyrant"... not in those words exactly, but in the qualities that make those sorts of people. We were on opposite poles of all the traits the test covered. My pastot was just like, "Well, this doesn't look good, but you never know what God has in mind for you." Pastor Ken was always wishy washy.

Either way, too late, now we've got to work together, like it or not.

 

[Moonbeam]

As a staunch conservative I believe in personal responsibility. What liberals do, I don't care, but conservatives, if they are stupid enough to marry the wrong person, should have to pay for that mistake by a lifetime of misery together. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.

 

[Moonbeam]

Hehe, Isla, I read what you said and was picturing what a marriage of two people racing to the front door would look like.

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Hehe, Isla, I read what you said and was picturing what a marriage of two people racing to the front door would look like.

LOLOLOL!!!!

Now that was a pun I didn't see coming.

 

[lowtech1]

I too dislike the idea of divorce.

We have a very high rate of divorce compare to 50 years ago or 3rd world countries could be that there are more women in the work force today in America than ever before in history. By having an income women can have a greater saying in their family & life, therefor women aren?t afraid of being destitute if they are not in a marriage. It is harder to suppress the women because they are now can be a breadwinner that affect and changes the traditional men/women role & thinking process of civilization.

The change is an inevitable thing, because technology had advance to a point where we don?t hunt/gather and don?t have to worry about storage for season or where the foods come from. New way of thinking and responsible will be develop to accommodate the change but it will take a lot of work & time.

And I hope that we develop a new strategy sooner than later.

 

[Rudee]

Marriage is like getting a late night phonecall...... You get a ring, then you suddenly wakeup!

 

[Vic]

Originally posted by: Skyclad1uhm1
I voted good, as women need to be able to get rid of abusive partners, and when love dies out people need to be able to move on.

I don't approve of the Hollywood way of doing it, marrying with 365 different partners per year (why bother? just have bloody casual sex!).

Divorce has always been legal in the US. It's no-fault divorce that is the problem. I think that when people take an oath of "'Til Death do Us Part," in public and before a government official, that they should be obliged to keep it. Otherwise, don't take the oath.

Divorce in cases of abuse or infidelity has always been allowed in the US, except for Catholics.

 

[jjones]

No, I think Henry VIII had the right idea.

 

[Jfur]

I don't think divorce should be taken lightly, but it was a great step (particularly for women and some men in VERY BAD relationships) that it has become possible. So yes, it's a "good" idea.

 

[kt]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
people that vote "good", don't have any kids please


the kid factor is the problem, if its just two people that change thier minds, its only the two of them affected, but if they have kids and then decide to change everything, they are ripping those kids world apart

i don't have a link , but the statistics i "hear" are that kids of divorced parents are much more likely to get into drugs and crimes and other problems, so i think there are some people with kids that should delay the divorce until the kids get older, tough it out until the kids go off on their own

That is such a narrow minded and one sided argument. There are certain situations where a divorce is a good thing. I am not saying that divorce in general is a good thing. But there are situations where the kids are better off with the parents divorced. When was the last time you watch or read the news? There are situations where the children are being physically or sexually abused by one of the parents. Do you still think the kids are better off then for the parent to stay together? You can't just dismiss that divorce is a bad thing. There's no just black or white solution to this.

 

[Swag1138]

My opinion:

Marriage is an arrangement instituted by God, and in his view, marriage is for ever. The ONLY grounds for divorce is adultery. Do NOT marry somone with the thought in the back of your head that "if I dont like them, I can always divorce them." Wrong view. Look at divorce as a NO resort situation. It should never be used.

Adding kids to the mix only makes it worse to get a divorce. It doesnt make it bad, it already was bad.


To those of you who dont believe in God, dont get married. Marriage has no meaning if you dont believe in God.

 

[vi edit]

To those of you who dont believe in God, dont get married. Marriage has no meaning if you dont believe in God.

You're so high up on that moral high horse that the lack of oxygen has impaired your ability to think.

 

[Yomicron]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
people that vote "good", don't have any kids please


the kid factor is the problem, if its just two people that change thier minds, its only the two of them affected, but if they have kids and then decide to change everything, they are ripping those kids world apart

i don't have a link , but the statistics i "hear" are that kids of divorced parents are much more likely to get into drugs and crimes and other problems, so i think there are some people with kids that should delay the divorce until the kids get older, tough it out until the kids go off on their own

I've heard that statistic as well, but all I can say is that most of the people I know who have their head on fairly strait (my self included) actually come from broken homes. I believe growing up in an environment where the parents are constantly arguing/fighting/whatever is much worse for the child. They grow up seeing that fighting is "normal".

 

self-righteous group of teenies we got in here tonight.

 

"You're so high up on that moral high horse that the lack of oxygen has impaired your ability to think."

I'm waiting for when people would get off the defensive wall and make sense of a qualifier added in someone's opinion.

[SammySon:] "self-righteous group of teenies we got in here tonight."

Have you anything constructive to offer besides accusing one of being a Pharisee?

[Yomicron:] "I've heard that statistic as well, but all I can say is that most of the people I know who have their head on fairly strait (my self included) actually come from broken homes. I believe growing up in an environment where the parents are constantly arguing/fighting/whatever is much worse for the child. They grow up seeing that fighting is 'normal'."

Well, again, it seems to me that people are expecting to see the negative aspects of divorce only in its extreme form: a violent, irresponsible, messed up life. But realistically, like any other thing in life the effect of divorce on kids does not have to show in only one form. It can come in not so obvious forms. An example of not so obvious forms is the marital life of the individuals whose parents divorced; and also their interactions and relationships with other people day to day. Not everything is always physical/external in appearance. Some things are abstract and in the subconscious state.

 

[Piano Man]

Divorce is never black and white, and your poll is very ineffective in tackling the issue. Like most things, it depends on the circumstances.

 

Have you anything constructive to offer besides accusing one of being a Pharisee?

Have you anything better to do than critique others posts? You must have some arcane knowledge seeing as how you can pass judgement so quickly.
I did not direct my statement at any one person. Nor did I even give a glimpse of my opinion on the subject.
I was merely commenting on the other posts in this thread, and their attitudes they convey.

The problem is this, Humans are NOT monogamous by nature.
Until everyone becomes more secure with their sexuality and the person they are with, the problem will not go away.
It's a whole lot deeper than just the institution of marriage.

 

Well, my response got you to post something with substance. Earlier you basically said nothing. . . .

"The problem is this, Humans are NOT monogamous by nature.
Until everyone becomes more secure with their sexuality and the person they are with, the problem will not go away.
It's a whole lot deeper than just the institution of marriage."

I agree. I posted an opinion months, months ago about polygamy. More power to it really, for as long as both the women and men were allowed to practice it (not just the men).

However, realistically, our legal system and society limits us to one. We accept this system. So knowing this fact, shouldn't our practices be consistent?

 

[Cyberian]

With the divorce rate currently at 51% or so, .....

Look on the bright side.
The other 49% of marriages end in death.

 

[Dragnov]

When did married people always have kids?

Also the 51% divorce rate doesn't take into account re-marraige.

 

[Squisher]

You know why divorces are so expensive?















Because, they're worth it.

 

[Vic]

Originally posted by: SammySon
The problem is this, Humans are NOT monogamous by nature.

Then don't take a public oath that requires monogamy to one person for life.
How does it usually go? "For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, 'till death do us part."
That is my only complaint with divorce... people should not take an oath that they have no intention of keeping. I understand those who have reason, like abuse or infidelity, but most are just pathetic people looking for an easy way out.
Anyway, must be why I'm 31 years old, never been married, and been living with my long-time GF for 5 years now. I don't take oaths and vows lightly, I don't see marriage as something one does for custom or family...