Do you ever feel subdued because you can't be absolutely honest?

[Anubis]

It's just playing the game. Recently I've seen a rash of people getting hired in who do NOT know how to play the game - especially, of course, younger folks. They argue with their bosses or talk to them like they're talking to their family at home, rather than respectfully in a corporate environment. You don't necessarily have to suck up to people to live within the political rules of your work environment, but there is a minimum amount of courtesy that does involve tact when speaking to others, especially to superiors.

And it's different everywhere you go. I worked for one boss who we had to call "sir". Then again, I've worked for VP's who treat you like a friend, prefer being called by their nickname or first name, and let you wander into their office to discuss stuff whenever you want to. Bottom line is, you need to play by the rules if you want to keep the job, whether the rules are crazy or lax 😛

i too see this a lot and i wonder if at some point the corperate BS will change as more and more younger people come in and trip the balance

 

[IGemini]

Being PC has less bearing than people think about being "honest" or having something misinterpreted, and it frequently gets carried too far on either side of the argument. Misunderstanding is a reality of social interaction. My experience is that being "politically incorrect" just adds another barrier to that understanding, because reality is sufficiently strange enough to encourage disbelief.

 

[OinkBoink]

That's not true. They do not "care what the boss thinks." They care about getting a good review or getting a raise. Appeasing the boss is seen as a means to an end and nothing more.

Well, that's kinda my point. Perhaps I should have stated it differently. The end is useful to them. So they care.

Anyway, "sociopath" is a label which conveniently allows us to ignore what made that person that way. Is he so highly genetically predisposed that his brain does not let him feel any empathy or is it just that facing adversity and/or pain and/or bullshit from people has made that person that way? It's a combination of both innate and external factors but it is easy to make assumptions and take either one too far. This is a little off-topic.

 

[HendrixFan]

From my research and experience with sociopaths, it is genetic and not a learned trait. Apparently as much as 5% of the population are sociopaths which simply means their brains are unable to process information that feels any sympathy for others.

The further extreme is psychopaths, who have violent urges. They make up an even smaller subset though they exist within the realm of sociopaths.

Someone who is angry, depressed or moody due to environmental factors isn't (necessarily) a sociopath. The end is useful to a sociopath only in that it furthers themselves. It isn't that they "don't care" like someone who is depressed feels. It is that they don't care at all for others. Sociopaths indeed do care about themselves, and only themselves.

Sociopaths have no problem or second thoughts of trouncing others to get ahead, which is what makes them unusually skilled at getting ahead. You will find that sociopaths gravitate towards positions of money or power for this reason. Sadly, the reward structure of many businesses enable this sort of activity. Seemingly this is good because the goals of the (sociopathic) individual and the business are aligned. In reality, the sociopath only tends to their own means and has no loyalty or concern towards actions that benefit their place of employment.

The higher you move up the chain at any business the more of these kinds of creeps you will run into. That 5% number grows rapidly and you begin to feel completely surrounded by their ilk.

 

[Kaido]

i too see this a lot and i wonder if at some point the corperate BS will change as more and more younger people come in and trip the balance

I've wondered about this. My favorite companies to work for have been the ones where you feel like you're on equal footing with managers, not where you feel like you have to walk around on eggshells and brownnose the supervisors.

On the flip side, you do need structure & discipline. I've also seen places get too friendly, where the lines between workers & managers get blurred and people get lazy. I think the equal footing thing works the best when you have highly motivated people who already have a self-driven work ethic, because then everyone acts like adults. You usually only really get that at startup companies where everyone is doing productive stuff 24/7 and wants to be there, vs. a large corporation where you can blend in with the crowd.

As the saying goes, when the cat is away the mice will play. I did management at a restaurant for a couple years and really hated it haha. I had very few people I could trust to do their job when I wasn't looking, and even fewer who would do it right without having to be prodded. Granted, that's a far cry from say a high-end engineering place where people have had to get through a college degree to get their jobs, so there's a definite attitude difference depending on where you work.

 

[Kaido]

Anyway, "sociopath" is a label which conveniently allows us to ignore what made that person that way. Is he so highly genetically predisposed that his brain does not let him feel any empathy or is it just that facing adversity and/or pain and/or bs from people has made that person that way? It's a combination of both innate and external factors but it is easy to make assumptions and take either one too far. This is a little off-topic.

From my research and experience with sociopaths, it is genetic and not a learned trait. Apparently as much as 5% of the population are sociopaths which simply means their brains are unable to process information that feels any sympathy for others.

You know, I could believe that. I've met people who just don't get it. Like not at all. They have the empathy of a toddler, like when a little kid hits you in the face and they don't understand why you get upset.

 

[surfsatwerk]

Consequences are important.

 

[Kaido]

The higher you move up the chain at any business the more of these kinds of creeps you will run into. That 5% number grows rapidly and you begin to feel completely surrounded by their ilk.

Yeah, definitely. The less empathy you have, the easier it is to "make the hard decisions" in management and be viewed as an excellent resource and as someone who will "get things done". And I think we need people like that, those strong Type A personalities who drive progress forward, because the creative people of the world tend not to move too quickly (guilty!).

I really admire people like Elon Musk - he's a billionaire, he's out there creating jobs for people, he's doing good in the world (spaceships, electric cars, solar panels, how cool is that?), and he doesn't seem like a jerk.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

I think this issue can be compartmentalized somewhat. Indeed in the professional context, I care very much about what my colleagues and clients think of me and my opinions. When it comes to social or political issues however, I really do not care what anyone thinks of me or my opinions. The wonderful think about living in the United States is that one is entitled to have an opinion, no matter how valid, invalid, intelligent or stupid it might be. The fact that you or someone else might happen to disagree with my opinion is of no moment to me, because the wonderful thing about opinions is, well, they are opinions! They don't have to be factually accurate, make sense, etc.

 

[OverVolt]

Yea I like when people challenge my ideas it helps sort out my ideas very nicely. Its actually really important to have someone who can set you straight.

 

[Albatross]

People care a LOT more about social stuff,which for me doesnt mean s.it.I feel like an alien watching the retarded rituals of a bunch of monkeys which ,somehow, are privy to something which escapes me.No asperrgers.

 

[Spungo]

Absolutely. I never consider myself to always be right. We've all been wrong (and are going to be wrong) about something or the other in our lives, whether it is ideas or actions. We all make mistakes. The only way to improve is to learn from it and change.

It's just that, some things if stated can backfire horribly. Plus, this is the internet. It remembers all.

Make a habit of saying things that are very extreme then you can throw in your real opinions without saying which opinions are real or fake. Colbert said in an interview that he actually agrees with his right wing character from time to time but he never says when. That ambiguity allows him to say anything that's on his mind and people will never call him out for being nuts because they can't tell which opinions are real and which are an act.

Being ridiculous is a good way to make people think about stuff from different angles. I usually argue for the opposite of what I actually believe and I give silly arguments just to show the absurdity of that position. Example - I said marijuana should remain illegal because millions of law enforcement jobs rely on it being illegal. Legalizing marijuana would cause a sharp decline in things like prison population, so that would decimate our prison industry, and prison guards would lose their jobs. Having fewer people in jail would also mean more people are competing for the same jobs, and our job market is already tight. If anything, we should ramp up on the war on drugs to increase our prison population. This would stimulate economic growth in areas like law enforcement, prison construction, and prison maintenance. Those are good jobs that pay a living wage and have health benefits. We could lower our unemployment rates simply by locking up more people and building more prisons.

 

[SlickSnake]

I have thoughts, ideas and opinions which are very politically incorrect, but they are honest. If I were to state them (and I would certainly like to put it right in front of people's faces sometimes), I would be hounded down by people and very likely misinterpreted. It feels suffocating sometimes.

When people say, "I don't care about what anyone else thinks", what they really mean is that you have to get on with life no matter what anyone else thinks. It is not possible to truly not care about what others think of you and your opinions because your life depends on other people. An individual human being cannot exist without the help of others in some form or the other. Try not to care about what your boss thinks. I'm pretty sure life will become miserable at your workplace.

I was once told that unfettered honesty is stupidity. If you want to make something of yourself in life, you simply can't function that way. Sadly, it is true to a large extent.

The only time I am not intellectually honest is either at work or regarding religious and sometimes political matters. In my personal life, including on the internet, I try to be 100% honest, because I won't put up with useless crap someone else feels like heaping on me just because they are nuts. I would rather live alone than not be honest in my personal affairs. Has this caused problems with crazy family members? You betcha. But I also don't give a crap what they have to say about anything, and choose to ignore them so they don't bother me.