Do women not know when they are yapping on and on...

[chiwawa626]

Do women not know when they are yapping on and on...

My gf is yapping on and on about work, all I say is "mhm"...I don't think I could have a conversation where the other person just says "mhm", I would probably knotice...

 

[pyonir]

maybe she just needs to get it off her chest....sometimes all you have to do is listen.

 

[eshrai]

I'm sure she notices, but sometimes you just need to vent even if no one wants to listen.

 

[Calin]

You should try to look more interested in what she has to say

 

[Siddhartha]

A woman once told me that women bond through verbal communication. And that it is important that you listen, not interrupt, give advice, or try to solve a problem for them.

Just listen.

I know people, both men and women, who are talkers. I am not a talker so they are great to have in group situations

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: Siddhartha
A woman once told me that women bond through verbal communication. And that it is important that you listen, not interrupt, give advice, or try to solve a problem for them.

Just listen.

I know people, both men and women, who are talkers. I am not a talker so they are great to have in group situations

Yeah, I still have a real problem with this. When men complain about something, its because they want ideas and solutions from the other party. So its our natural response to try and come up with a solution to their problem.

But women usually just want to be heard, vent, sympathy, whatever.

I've heard that a million times, but I still don't really do it. When the GF starts complaining about a problem, I start offering up advice, downplaying the signifigance of the problem, etc. I think I really just need to give her a hug and STFU...but my automatic response is to try and fix the cause instead.

 

[vood0g]

Originally posted by: PingSpike

Originally posted by: Siddhartha
A woman once told me that women bond through verbal communication. And that it is important that you listen, not interrupt, give advice, or try to solve a problem for them.

Just listen.

I know people, both men and women, who are talkers. I am not a talker so they are great to have in group situations

Yeah, I still have a real problem with this. When men complain about something, its because they want ideas and solutions from the other party. So its our natural response to try and come up with a solution to their problem.

But women usually just want to be heard, vent, sympathy, whatever.

I've heard that a million times, but I still don't really do it. When the GF starts complaining about a problem, I start offering up advice, downplaying the signifigance of the problem, etc. I think I really just need to give her a hug and STFU...but my automatic response is to try and fix the cause instead.

Few years back, i read the first couple chapters of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (or something like that) and it says the exact same thing. Men will think that when a woman comes up to them to vent means that the woman is looking for a solution because that is what men do with other men. Pretty interesting read.

 

[mobobuff]

I totally understand what you are saying.

 

[thirdlegstump]

When my gf does it, I cannot ignore it because she tests me later to see if I was even listening. If I fail the test, she get's real mad. Time to breakup?

 

[vood0g]

Originally posted by: deathkoba
When my gf does it, I cannot ignore it because she tests me later to see if I was even listening. If I fail the test, she get's real mad. Time to breakup?

hell yea, ditch the bitch.

 

[n7]

You guys complain too much.

Keeping a gf around is work. A lot of work.

But at least you have one!

 

[randomlinh]

Originally posted by: vood0g

Originally posted by: PingSpike

Originally posted by: Siddhartha
A woman once told me that women bond through verbal communication. And that it is important that you listen, not interrupt, give advice, or try to solve a problem for them.

Just listen.

I know people, both men and women, who are talkers. I am not a talker so they are great to have in group situations

Yeah, I still have a real problem with this. When men complain about something, its because they want ideas and solutions from the other party. So its our natural response to try and come up with a solution to their problem.

But women usually just want to be heard, vent, sympathy, whatever.

I've heard that a million times, but I still don't really do it. When the GF starts complaining about a problem, I start offering up advice, downplaying the signifigance of the problem, etc. I think I really just need to give her a hug and STFU...but my automatic response is to try and fix the cause instead.

Few years back, i read the first couple chapters of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (or something like that) and it says the exact same thing. Men will think that when a woman comes up to them to vent means that the woman is looking for a solution because that is what men do with other men. Pretty interesting read.

i think penn and teller did a segment on their BS show about that book... and how the author has one of those fake PhD's.

 

[Koing]

Originally posted by: PingSpike

Originally posted by: Siddhartha
A woman once told me that women bond through verbal communication. And that it is important that you listen, not interrupt, give advice, or try to solve a problem for them.

Just listen.

I know people, both men and women, who are talkers. I am not a talker so they are great to have in group situations

Yeah, I still have a real problem with this. When men complain about something, its because they want ideas and solutions from the other party. So its our natural response to try and come up with a solution to their problem.

But women usually just want to be heard, vent, sympathy, whatever.

I've heard that a million times, but I still don't really do it. When the GF starts complaining about a problem, I start offering up advice, downplaying the signifigance of the problem, etc. I think I really just need to give her a hug and STFU...but my automatic response is to try and fix the cause instead.

QFT!

Most of the time my gf wants advice/ opinions but sometimes she just wants me to listen/ be sympathetic etc and in those times I just learn to listen and be there.

Koing

 

[SagaLore]

Maybe you should at least acknowledge you're listening to her, instead of ignoring her and visiting ATOT.

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: PingSpike
Yeah, I still have a real problem with this. When men complain about something, its because they want ideas and solutions from the other party. So its our natural response to try and come up with a solution to their problem.

But women usually just want to be heard, vent, sympathy, whatever.

I've heard that a million times, but I still don't really do it. When the GF starts complaining about a problem, I start offering up advice, downplaying the signifigance of the problem, etc. I think I really just need to give her a hug and STFU...but my automatic response is to try and fix the cause instead.

Yeah, it took me a while to pick up on that. Now half the time I can post on OT while she's talking to me about whatever.

 

[Calin]

Originally posted by: SagaLore
Maybe you should at least acknowledge you're listening to her, instead of ignoring her and visiting ATOT.

Yeah, welcome to the forums

 

[Bryophyte]

Most days, the only adult human I see is my spouse. I get tired of seeing his eyes glaze over when I talk and know that he doesn't listen to anything I say (later he will swear I didn't tell him about some party we got invited to or that someone died or something like that) so I give up and tell him things that are important by IM or email. So now he complains that I don't talk enough.

 

My gf calls me up all the time flipping her lid about her job. All she wants me to do is listen.
It's really not that hard, noob.

 

[NuclearNed]

Its not just females. I had a male coworker corner me in my office a couple of days ago and engage me in the Conversation That Would Not End for about 45 minutes. I hardly got a word in edgewise. Some people can't distinguish between "talking with" and "talking at".

I get this type of treatment a lot. People have told me that I'm a good listener, but really I've just mastered the art of tuning out people while nodding in agreement whenever someone says certain catch-phrases or words. Also, I occassionally re-establish eye contact with the speaker, which makes them think that I give a crap about "little Johnny's ballet practice", "my ordinary, same-as-always, nothing extraordinary happened trip to the hairstylist", or whatever. It also helps to have a few generic sentences in your arsenal in the event the speaker actually decides to shut their mouth (e.g. you can blurt out "So did you like that?", "How is that working for you?", "That's really interesting, I might have to try that.") Finally, you have to resist the urge to fidget. That is a dead giveaway that you are not really listening.

I hope this helps. With a little practice, you too can be a pro non-listener. Just don't try it on your wife because they can always tell. Always.

 

[40Hands]

Wemens be shoppin'!


Wait...what are we talking about? I wasn't paying attention.

 

[NakaNaka]

Originally posted by: PingSpike

Originally posted by: Siddhartha
A woman once told me that women bond through verbal communication. And that it is important that you listen, not interrupt, give advice, or try to solve a problem for them.

Just listen.

I know people, both men and women, who are talkers. I am not a talker so they are great to have in group situations

Yeah, I still have a real problem with this. When men complain about something, its because they want ideas and solutions from the other party. So its our natural response to try and come up with a solution to their problem.

But women usually just want to be heard, vent, sympathy, whatever.

I've heard that a million times, but I still don't really do it. When the GF starts complaining about a problem, I start offering up advice, downplaying the signifigance of the problem, etc. I think I really just need to give her a hug and STFU...but my automatic response is to try and fix the cause instead.

This post is 100% on. It'a probably the hardest thing to do in relationships, to learn when to shut up w. the advice.

 

[FoBoT]

it is a chick thing, they want to talk about everything, but they don't want any help or advice, which to a man seems like a waste of time. but to a woman, they just want the bonding or whatever crap they get out of blathering about stuff but not DOING anything about it

get used to it, or become a monk

 

[FoBoT]

Originally posted by: Calin
You should try to look more interested in what she has to say

or cut off your testicles and become a woman

 

[FoBoT]

Originally posted by: Siddhartha
A woman once told me that women bond through verbal communication. And that it is important that you listen, not interrupt, give advice, or try to solve a problem for them.

Just listen.

yes, that is what women want, so either learn how to fake it or become a monk

 

[meltdown75]

get used to it.

ever see the Bud Light commercial with the guy that has a fake face attached to the side of his head to feign attention towards the SO? that commercial hits HOME baby!