Do pretty girls know they're pretty?

[DannyLove]

time for Mr. Love to give his input:

I've dated several girls, and one in particular was extremely beautiful. However, she didn't think so. Many of the girls I dated didn't really think they were pretty or all that. The problem here is their past. Whether they were rejected or dumped on, this can be a scar to some women. HOWEVER. like most have stated here already, it does all depend on their esteem. Most of the girls that I was with that claimed they weren't pretty had personal issues. But there are those other type of girls that dress pretty, act pretty, and they KNOW that they are pretty, and may say it, or may deny it just so they won't loook like they are into themself, but they eventually are. I know I would be if I looked like JLH.

danny~!

 

[MichaelD]

I know I have a very cynical outlook on this subject, and I wasn't trying to hurt anyone's feelings, but that is my personality; I am the Original Doubting Thomas. I have zero faith in human nature and trust nobody but me. If you want something, whether it be a job or a woman (or man, if you're a woman!) you must do it yourself. Nobody hands you nothing. There is no free lunch.

However, I consider myself a realist. If someone has a chance to screw you over either monetarilly or professionally, they will. And 99%

At 33 years old, I've been dating for more than half my life and I'm not married by choice (marriage......blech **shiverrrrrrrrr**)

I know women like the back of my hand; cohabitated three times with the same results...I can't live with a woman. Shack up for a weekend, no prob, but live with permanently? No thank you. Know them all well enough to know that I don't know sh*t and no man IN HISTORY has ever figured them out. Why do we put up with their crap? Easy; they smell nice, are soft and pliable and taste good. Not to mention they are an attractive fashion accessory to accessorize with. Every man looks better with the Trophy Girlfriend (or even Trophy Date...nobody has to know she's not yours!) on his arm.

But I've digressed far from the topic of this thread. Oops.

 

[Sylph]

:disgust:

I never would have guessed how many seemly intelligent people could be so judgmental, narcissisticand utterly ignorant. Islaposted an extremely accurate synopsis - the most apt response if you were trying to get an honest answer to your question - yet she was receivedwith overwhelmingly misogynistic attitudes. Don't you know you're part of the problem? The reason pretty girls can?t believe they?re pretty and why plain-looking girls are acutely aware of just how plain they are?

No one cares about your past, what has shaped your perceptions, attitudes or opinions. There isn?t an excuse for not being decent to a human being. Don?t you fault women for judging you on your looks? Call them nasty names when they overlook you for a more attractive man. Then why be guilty of the same failing?
Its truly sadif you actually have to walk a mile in their shoes before you can empathize or even understand another person.

 

[KiltedFool]

to be on topic:
Some do know it at a young age, some don't. The ones that do tend to abuse and take advantage of that fact.
"City girls just seem to find out early.."

And MikeD, I'm still going to bust your chops some, since I was one of the ones who booted you in the ass because you were up until recently more or less whipped by a high maintenance younger hottie.

Me? I didn't find out I had a body that wouldn't quit until after I lost it (some girls asked me where it went). Same thing can happen with girls.

KF

 

[DannyLove]

Sylph, i have no idea in what you just said

danny~!

 

[MichaelD]

**Show tune music* "That's life....that's what people say" Part of the problem? Contributing factor? Enabling a generation of persons with no perceived self-worth? What a bunch of liberalistic, feel-good, there are no losers psychobabble crap!

Some people are fat. Some are ugly. Some are bald. Some are bald, fat and ugly. Oh well (see line one). I absolutely abhor people with this "blame society for my woes" and "there are no losers...everyone who tried is a winner!" attitude.

Also, there is a huge difference between a mysoginist (sp?) and someone who has lots of real world experience. Rapists are typically mysogonsitic men; they hate women and commit acts of rape as exercising control. Any psychologist will tell you rape is about control, not sex. But I'm digressing.

I don't hate women. On the contrary, I LOVE women. Of all color and races (not fat, though!). As a matter of fact, my love of women has gotten me into trouble (caught cheating) and bigger trouble (five year old son) than I can count. I treat women very well. I buy dinner, cook, clean and buy flowers. And I don't hit women either.

KiltedFool Hey, how are you doing? Hey, I admit I was whipped! Not a problem admitting that! However, what does the fact that I was whipped by a much younger hottie have to do with anything I said? Women are beautiful. Women are a PITA. I can't live without them. Nuff said there. Have a good day.

 

[Sylph]

Well I'm really sorry Danny. I was simply disappointed by all of the attitude displayed. It seems to be that intelligent people should be a little better than that.

It seems many people need a lesson on how to treat others. I think a good start would be getting away from judgement according to appearance. I could provide enormous amounts of anecdotal evidence to back up my opinion but that seems pointless.

 

[Isla]

Hi Sylph, Welcome to ATOT :disgust:

I'd PM you if you were enabled.

Some of these guys just don't realize they are trapped in their own miserable projections. This is not exactly a hot bed of spiritual growth and emotional healthiness.... it's more of a place for them to be as nasty, bitter, and angry as they want to be. But, I find that if you speak up from the heart, there are some who can benefit.

 

[DannyLove]

Sylph:

i think you have drifted into another deep topic. I'm lost. what judgement are you speaking of? i'm basing my judgement on MY experiences that i've had regarding the issue, which in fact, is "Do pretty girls know they're pretty?"

i'm lost and confused at who you are talking to and of what

danny~!

 

[MichaelD]

DannyLove,

Sorry, I got way off the topic...once I start typing the words just fly onto the screen.....I'll shut up now.

As for you two wannabe-psychoanalysts...this is the ATOT forums, and "things" get said and ideas bandied about.

Not everyone here is majoring in the Analytical-Based-Female-Biased Study of Psychtropic Medications and The Effects on a Whiny Female Society. Some are, but most aren't. This is an opion-based forum; people just yak away. I gave you just that; my opinion. Opinons are like, uh you know...everyone has one.

Bah. That'll teach me to butt into "one of those" threads. My apologies for diverting the thread from it's intended course. Captain Mike, out.

 

[gopunk]

bah, i wish i woke up earlier, good discussion here.

reading isla posts remind me of myself in a way. but anyways, i don't think our society devalues women all that much. there are plenty of men with low self-esteem too you know. i've read a bunch of articles on how barbie devalues women or something like that, but ken and gi joe have the same potential.

and reading your posts isla, it seems like you're just a hotbed of exceptions... and i can understand the "case by case" thing, but i firmly believe that stereotypes are unavoidable. if you saw a guy wearing a hockey mask with a chainsaw and blood all over him, what would you think?

 

[Isla]

Actually, this subject hits very close to home for me, gopunk.

I was cross-eyed as a child. It took 5 operations to give me a normal appearance.

I know what it is like to be shunned and humiliated for the way I look.

Then, after my eyes were fixed, something interesting happened.

All the boys at school who called me names in previous years wanted to date me.

That hurt more than anything else.... I knew at an early age how looks can make all the difference and how most people don't care what kind of a person you are inside. I knew that the only interest in me what that I was physically attractive. When I realized what a cold, shallow world this is, I was devastated for a time.

The ironic thing is one of the most frequent compliments I get is on how beautiful my eyes are.

The eyes are the window to the soul.

And MichaelD, relax. I'm no wannabe... if I was in the work force, I would be in the mental health/special education field. What you see is what you get with me... don't let it bother you.

 

[MichaelD]

Isla,

Sorry to hear of your childhood disability. That's not what I was referring to in my earlier posts. I would NEVER make fun of a disabled person or make light of their condition; I have a disabled person in my family and I work with several disabled persons at my main job.

No, I was referring to FAT, ugly, bald, smelly, uneducated, antisocial people that blame society for their woes. Sometimes one must look in the mirror to see the real problem.

No offense intended there, Isla. Have a nice day.

 

[BigJohnKC]

Some of these guys just don't realize they are trapped in their own miserable projections. This is not exactly a hot bed of spiritual growth and emotional healthiness.... it's more of a place for them to be as nasty, bitter, and angry as they want to be.

Well, you may be right there...we guys sometimes get a bit nasty about a topic like this, and I want to apologize for stereotyping in my earlier post. But, I think what is happening when someone posts starting with something like "yes, they know it" is that the particular guy has been shot down by a pretty girl who knows she's pretty and loves the attention, stepping on peoples feelings as she goes. As for me, that is what has happened, and I was stereotyping that type of girl. But, there are some girls out there, I'm sure of it, that are gorgeous and (not necessarily having low self-esteem) don't gloat about it. I hope one day to marry someone like that, someone who doesn't act like she knows she's hot, but also someone who doesn't complain that she's SO fat and go on and on about all her misgivings. That's almost as annoying as being pretty and knowing - being less attractive than a supermodel and constantly feeling bad about it.

 

[Isla]

<FONT face=Verdana size=1>BigJohnKC,

Here's what you do if you find a lovely woman with low self esteem. Be her friend and help her to see how beautiful she really is. If she falls into the "I'm fat/ugly boo-hoo" routine, tell her that you don't think so, but if she keeps it up you might start to believe her. You hear a lie repeated often enough and you start to think it is true... and if you keep telling yourself you are a worthwhile, lovable human being, you start to believe that, too. Healthy self confidence goes a lot farther than any make up or outfit can in making a woman look good.

MichaelD, I agree that people who can't face reality and blame everyone else for their woes are annoying. They are also the least likely to change, unfortunately. It's us neurotics who feel responsible for everything who have the best chance at finally seeing the light, lol!

For the record, I am 33 and have 3 children. With each child I gained weight and each time I have slowly managed to get back in shape. This last time took me a little bit longer but I never gave up and I always understood that it is a matter of what I eat and how much I exercise. I am happy to say that I am the happiest, healthiest, and in the best shape I have ever been in my life. But no pics, sorry! </FONT>

 

[LAUST]

Yes no matter what they say they know they are pretty..I was friends with one of those "I'm not pretty" type's then one night I was with her and a few other people at a club and she had a lot to drink... Trust me they know they are pretty and she admitted it that night

 

[Jfur]

<< I would say the exact opposite. Hell yeah they know they're beautiful, and most of them act that way. Whenever they ask if they're unattractive, they're trying to and elicit a compliment for reassurance. I guarantee there are exceptions to this, but in my experience the majority of good looking women act as if their shiz don't stink. >>




yep.

 

[gopunk]

Actually, this subject hits very close to home for me, gopunk.

sorry if i sounded like i thought otherwise, but that's what i was saying. my point is, as much as women like to say society devalues women specifically, i don't think it's true. you've given your own personal experiences, but do you think a cross-eyed boy wouldn't be teased? it's human nature to judge by looks first and personality second, i really think the best course of action for people is to simply accept this, since i have yet to see any indication of human nature changing.

i think that many girls do ask for opinions on their appearance for the reason given earlier - a self esteem boost. and while, you may personally have a different experience, it was stated specifically that this was a general observation and that exceptions are sure to exist - you can't discredit a general observation simply because you're an exception.

 

[Isla]

"you can't discredit a general observation simply because you're an exception. "


True, but having spent some time studying the sciences/scientific methods, I also know that general observations often miss the mark entirely. The world is not flat even though to many that is how it seemed.

Sometimes, being the exception gives you a chance to see things from angles that were previously not considered.
<B>

</B>

 

[gopunk]

True, but having spent some time studying the sciences/scientific methods, I also know that general observations often miss the mark entirely. The world is not flat even though to many that is how it seemed.

saying that the world is flat is not a general observation. of all the worlds we are aware of, i have yet to see any that are flat. general observations are based on looking at a large sample and finding out what *most* of them are like. for example, chinese people have black hair, brown eyes. there are exceptions to that rule (in some rural areas), but for the most part, people find it true.

 

[Freejack2]

Some do, some don't know they're pretty. A lot of the question is how do they treat their looks. Some are just "players" who will break your heart and take your wallet. After running into one, I avoided those kinds of women like the plague. While this country pushes flesh and all the magazines seem to say if you don't look like him or her your nothing. Noone ever seems to remember when you get married 20 years later neither of you is going to win any beauty contests. In 20 years what is going to matter is what a person in like on the inside. If you married a woman to be your blonde bimbo trophy wife, I feel sorry for you. Marriage is about far more than hopping in the sack. It's about the person who will be your lifemate, your companion, and your friend. If you can't look at a person and say in 20 years I will love them as much as I do today, you shouldn't be marrying them. For people like MichaelD I feel sorry for you. With the attitude you have, you will most likely never find your lifemate. You may want to sit down and think about your attitude and opinions, and question them deeply.

As for me when it comes to love I think I was very lucky. Most people can spend all their lives looking for their lifemate. I was lucky enough to find my lifemate in my late 20's. My wife in my opinion is a beautiful woman where it really really counts. On the inside. I think she's beautiful on the outside too but then again I'm very much in love and possibly hopelessly biased.

For me I wanted a down to earth woman who wouldn't mess with my mind. I found her and personally I wouldn't have cared if she had or develops 4 chins. I'll still love her no matter what.

 

[abc]

it really depends, mostly on personality. there are some women that mind their own business, choose not to go to clubs because they feel they have better things to do so to speak (even though they could easily be a magnet if they were to realize it & found it fun) - but are cautious of sleazy guys. These women are very ultra pretty yet don't necessarily see themselves that way. They're also not into makeup/foundation that kinda thing, just lipstick sometimes.

 

[LakerGod]

<< Well do they? Sometimes I see pretty girls say they think they are ugly but I wonder if they are only saying that to elicit compliments and reassurances that they are pretty. >>




YES

 

[goog]

Most do, whether they act like they're hot or not.
Some girls really don't think they are all that though, they have low self-esteem for whatever reason (abuse etc.).

What I like are the hot girls that'll still give a nobody like me the time of day, not bitches in other words. The neg attitude is almost equally offsetting as the I'm all that biatch. But misery loves company so we can work on that

I pretty much agree with Isla on this
I also applaud folks like MichealD for speaking their minds.

The most appalling of all the fat, ugly, stupid ...

 

[MSNY]

This is way to subjective. No one can can even agree who is or is not good looking. Self esteem plays a role but there is no set definition to answer this question. Sure we have certain criteria like weight, height ect. but where do the measurements get to big to be unattractive ?

One man's beauty is another man's ugly dog !

Or is it "beauty is in the eye of beholder"