I got into a minor spat the other day with my wife (married for a year in July) about this, and I wonder if it's me being a jerk or if we, as a society, sometimes throw the word "love" around too much..
It started off as a "discussion" about her mom (my mother in law). We got into an argument the last time she visited and my wife wanted to make sure that I would try to be more patient the next time she visits- I was fine with that but explained that she did particular things to get a rise out of me, but that I would not let my temper get the better of me in the future.. . Eventually that lead to "you don't even love her! [my mother in law]," and I replied calmly - "No, I don't love her. I love you. In fact, I barely like her or know her, but I'll try harder to be respectful because she's your mom."
Which lead to crying and eventually closure but, really, do we throw around the world "love" too much? I have never said it unless I've meant it, and refused to automatically love in-laws (or family), pets, or past girl friends (1 of whom I did in fact love at the time, and was vocal with it).
I even feel weird calling my in-laws mom or dad, since my parents spent 27 difficult years dealing with me, so they earned the title...
Am I being difficult or fair? Do you "love" your in laws? Your xbox 360? Your shoes? Or do you reserve the word for special uses/occasions?
Edit I do now call my inlaws mom and dad, mostly because not doing so would be cold, even though I don't exactly like it. The truth is that I've seen them maybe 4 times and spent mere hours with them.. It feels artificial to me, but I can concede that taking that step is important for the future of any relationship with them
It started off as a "discussion" about her mom (my mother in law). We got into an argument the last time she visited and my wife wanted to make sure that I would try to be more patient the next time she visits- I was fine with that but explained that she did particular things to get a rise out of me, but that I would not let my temper get the better of me in the future.. . Eventually that lead to "you don't even love her! [my mother in law]," and I replied calmly - "No, I don't love her. I love you. In fact, I barely like her or know her, but I'll try harder to be respectful because she's your mom."
Which lead to crying and eventually closure but, really, do we throw around the world "love" too much? I have never said it unless I've meant it, and refused to automatically love in-laws (or family), pets, or past girl friends (1 of whom I did in fact love at the time, and was vocal with it).
I even feel weird calling my in-laws mom or dad, since my parents spent 27 difficult years dealing with me, so they earned the title...
Am I being difficult or fair? Do you "love" your in laws? Your xbox 360? Your shoes? Or do you reserve the word for special uses/occasions?
Edit I do now call my inlaws mom and dad, mostly because not doing so would be cold, even though I don't exactly like it. The truth is that I've seen them maybe 4 times and spent mere hours with them.. It feels artificial to me, but I can concede that taking that step is important for the future of any relationship with them
