Do parents expect the most out of their youngest child?

[Dragnov]

I'm the bad child of the family. Always getting in big trouble, lots of major spats w/ the parents, doing poorly in school, etc.

Yet somehow I'm the one whose supposed to succeed? I'm supposed to run my own business, buy my parents a BMW or Mercedes, settle down early, etc.

 

[rh71]

Do parents expect the most out of their youngest child? Only when the older ones have failed and the youngest one is the last chance they've got. Otherwise, I've never heard of that theory. Not even in Asian folklore. Your parents are nuts... all of their kids should succeed equally.

 

[Ameesh]

why do you suck so much? it shouldnt really matter if you are the youngest child or not.

but in general i wouldnt agree with that statement

 

[Orsorum]

In my family, yes.

 

[jagr10]

No. usually they expect more out of the eldest. THe youngest is usually the most favoured and is allowed to slack off more.

 

[DT4K]

Of course not.

But every person probably thinks they had it harder than their siblings.

 

[Red Dawn]

Of course not. In fact most think of tyhe youngest child as a burden and can't wait for them to get out of the house!

 

[secretanchitman]

Originally posted by: Gr1mL0cK
I'm the bad child of the family. Always getting in big trouble, lots of major spats w/ the parents, doing poorly in school, etc.

Yet somehow I'm the one whose supposed to succeed? I'm supposed to run my own business, buy my parents a BMW or Mercedes, settle down early, etc.

damn straight, except my parents want me to become a doctor...

 

[Electric Amish]

I hope not. My parents would be sorely disappointed in my sister.

 

[PanzerIV]

Speaking as a parent I expect more from my eldest children. They all need to learn responsibility true enough, but especially my oldest who need to discover that with the extra benefits they get with being older (staying up later, going out to movies and skating with friends) that they also need to work harder at helping around the house, calling when they are told to and the like. We tend to baby my 8 year old.
Academically they are all pushed to the same level. When they are all adults I hope it all averages out.

 

[prvteye2003]

Originally posted by: jagr10
No. usually they expect more out of the eldest. THe youngest is usually the most favoured and is allowed to slack off more.

I agree with this a have only now realized that I've been doing this with my 2 kids.

 

[Dragnov]

So parents? Which child do you expect to take care of you when you're old, take you guys out to eat, call you up and see how you're doing, visit here and there, etc.? If anybody that is...

And if you expect it all to be equal, you got to be kidding.

 

[dukdukgoos]

Usually the oldest has the most expectations. The youngest is often the blacksheep, and the most artistic.

 

[DT4K]

I have 3 kids.
I figure it's a crapshoot. I'll be happy if 2 out of 3 succeed.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: Shanti
I have 3 kids.
I figure it's a crapshoot. I'll be happy if 2 out of 3 succeed.

LOL wtf...hehehehehe

but i know you'd want all to succeed and you'll try your best to help them out while they're young cuz you love 'em right?..


heheheh donno, i just laughed because you said it was a crapshoot....donno..just found that funny

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: Shanti
I have 3 kids.
I figure it's a crapshoot. I'll be happy if 2 out of 3 succeed.

thats pretty sad. i'm glad my parents weren't like that

 

[shimsham]

the only thing parents should expect differently from their children is the eldest should know better, and set good examples for the youngest. i expect the same from both of my children, within their own, unique abilities.

maybe your parents think you are smarter than the others, thus expecting more from you because they see you have the potential.

 

[Encryptic]

I was the youngest of 3 brothers and my parents, especially my mother, babied me. I turned out pretty well though, compared to my brothers.

 

[hdeck]

parents expect their first child to do the best and set a great example. all the rest just have to follow in those steps. of course they never do at first, but then everyone grows up and you get over it.

 

[shimsham]

Originally posted by: dukdukgoos
Usually the oldest has the most expectations. The youngest is often the blacksheep, and the most artistic.

?? is that personal experience, or some study? in my observations thru friends, family, and coworkers the only difference ive noticed is the youngest is sometimes babied by the mother.

other than that, its been pretty random as far as the oldest/youngest artistically, successfully, blacksheep, or whatever.

 

[anno]

I think when they're babies, when they're born.. of course you have similar expectations of them all.

this is a hard question!

I don't have the same expectations of my son (younger) as I do of my daughter (older) because.. well.. over time I've learned that they're different, I guess.

I'm harder on my son in some respects than I was on my daughter, because.. in those respects, she is so hard on herself I don't need to be.. and he's not.

I'm.. perhaps less hard on him in others.. because.. well.. for much the same reasons.. there's only so much you can do.. some of it has to come from the child himself.. I have to let natural consequences take over part of the time.

I have been equally hard on both of 'em in some respects too.. the moral and ethical respects.

my husband is harder on our son than he was on our daughter in completely different ways.. because he's a boy, I think.. and was harder on her than he is on him in others.. because she's a girl.. I think.

but.. expectations aside.. our hopes for both of them are the same today as they were when they were born 19 and 16 years ago.. our goal all this time has been to raise good self-supporting happy people. we've chosen to measure success in terms of contentment rather than $$$'s ourselves, and.. that's what we hope for them too.. equally.

and.. though they're on different tracks, and going at it in different ways.. I think they're both on track to be successful, by my definition if not society's, on their own terms.

who's gonna take care of me when I'm old? hopefully I'll be able to take care of myself (financially). who's gonna call me and visit me? hopefully.. both of 'em.

 

[shimsham]

Originally posted by: anno
I think when they're babies, when they're born.. of course you have similar expectations of them all.

this is a hard question!

I don't have the same expectations of my son (younger) as I do of my daughter (older) because.. well.. over time I've learned that they're different, I guess.

I'm harder on my son in some respects than I was on my daughter, because.. in those respects, she is so hard on herself I don't need to be.. and he's not.

I'm.. perhaps less hard on him in others.. because.. well.. for much the same reasons.. there's only so much you can do.. some of it has to come from the child himself.. I have to let natural consequences take over part of the time.

I have been equally hard on both of 'em in some respects too.. the moral and ethical respects.

my husband is harder on our son than he was on our daughter in completely different ways.. because he's a boy, I think.. and was harder on her than he is on him in others.. because she's a girl.. I think.

but.. expectations aside.. our hopes for both of them are the same today as they were when they were born 19 and 16 years ago.. our goal all this time has been to raise good self-supporting happy people. we've chosen to measure success in terms of contentment rather than $$$'s ourselves, and.. that's what we hope for them too.. equally.

and.. though they're on different tracks, and going at it in different ways.. I think they're both on track to be successful, by my definition if not society's, on their own terms.

who's gonna take care of me when I'm old? hopefully I'll be able to take care of myself (financially). who's gonna call me and visit me? hopefully.. both of 'em.

great post! couldnt have (and didnt ) said it better myself. your children are lucky to have parents such as you two. kudos:beer:

 

[DT4K]

Originally posted by: Ameesh

Originally posted by: Shanti
I have 3 kids.
I figure it's a crapshoot. I'll be happy if 2 out of 3 succeed.

thats pretty sad. i'm glad my parents weren't like that

Geez, take it easy. I'm only kidding.
Any decent parent expects great things from all their kids. When I look back, the most important thing in my life will be how well I did raising my kids.

 

[eakers]

i'm the middle child and the "smart" one so apparently i am the only hope for this family

 

[Rainsford]

No, but in my experience the youngest is usually kind of a whiner, so a lot of times they think they are expected to do too much when in fact they are simply expected to do the same as everyone else. JHMO, and for the record, I'm an oldest.